January began with the passing of the prophet, President Thomas S Monson. I loved hearing him talk and tell stories in his comforting grandfather voice. He was a shining example of humble service. He will be greatly missed. My boys were very sad. Caleb was only a toddler when President Hinckley passed away, so this is the first time he has gone through this, really. It was so comforting to know that the Lord already had a plan in place for who would next lead the church, under His direction. I could see in the past couple of years how President Nelson was being prepared to take up the task, and grew in my love for him and his devotion to doing the work of the Lord.
I started reading again this past month, which was a big deal. I had stopped reading when I got really sick last year, so it's nice to be enjoying something that has been a lifelong hobby for me. Brettley also hit a reading milestone and is officially reading grade 2 level books now. I suspect he'll get to grade 3 books before the end of the year. Caleb is now reading high school level books, and apparently asking college level questions in science class. Ty has grown to love reading so much this year, which is such a joy to see.
I began my calling in nursery and was surprised by how quickly I fell in love with it. I had been in nursery when we left Edmonton and it had never been a happy place for me there, but here I instantly felt connected to these young ones and love their sweet little spirits. They are truly a joy to be around.
I discovered bullet journaling this month. It's a system that was made for me, I'm sure. I love lists, calendars, being organized, office supplies, and this combines them all. I've been loving it!
I finally got around to making a large wall calendar project that I'd been wanting to make for the past several years. John was a big help with it.
I got to see C, L's mom, when we were out shopping one day, which was a wonderful experience.
I have started walking more, outside and doing steps inside when it's too cold or icy. I found this really cool thing where it tells you the distances between locations from Middle Earth (Tolkien's world), so I'm using that to set goals for myself.
Last weekend I attended our Stake Relief Society Conference, which was amazing. I attended 2 classes. The first was 'The Courage to be Imperfect' which referenced Elder Holland's October 2017 talk quite a bit. The second class I went to was 'Don't Look Around, Look Up' where we talked a lot about the need to look to the Lord instead of comparing ourselves to others. We all got to listen to Dr Wayne Burton talk as well as play and sing for us. There was a wonderful luncheon afterward. I'm so glad I got to have that uplifting experience.
Yesterday was Bell Let's Talk, which I actively participated in to help fundraise, but also to bring awareness about the need that still exists for more education for the general public, more research and better access to supports. Obviously, this is something that is very near and dear to my heart. Caleb had a psychiatrist appointment yesterday and he gets to come off of his last medication. It was a very happy victory to see him have come this far from where we were even 2 years ago. He is such a brave little fighter.
The goings on of our geeky little family and the musings and soapbox moments of the lone female in the group.
Showing posts with label L. Show all posts
Showing posts with label L. Show all posts
Thursday, February 1, 2018
Saturday, January 24, 2015
L and What She Means to Me
I'm 2 days late. It's been a really off week in our house. I think the kids got spring fever early this year, no one has been sleeping properly and I was about ready to pull my hair out (so I just cut most of it off instead, ha ha).
So for the 4th Thursday of each month, it will be about something that's been going through my mind recently. I call it the Musings & Soapbox Moments week.
This month I decided to talk about how L is really the best thing that's ever happened to me. So just in case you've been living under a rock or are new to my blog, here's who L is. Just over 11 years ago I found out that I was pregnant. I was not married at the time. Nor was I a member of my church at the time, that happened about 2/3 of the way through my pregnancy. When L was born, I placed her with the people who were meant to be her family. At the time, it was her mom, her dad and her older brother. She now has 2 younger brothers as well. L is the only girl I've given birth to and she holds a very special place in my heart. It's probably a good thing that my husband and I have all boys, it makes her that much more special.
So I realized that it may sound odd to say that she's the best thing that ever happened to me, above my conversion and baptism, my marriage, and my sons. But here's why. I would have had NONE of those things if I hadn't been pregnant with L. It is because I was pregnant with her, that my heart was softened and I was ready to gain a testimony and join the church. Because of joining the church, that is how I met my husband and was able to be blessed with our boys.
I remember a quote from somewhere about Heavenly Father permitting hard/bad things to happen to us because He can see how much good will come out of them. Being pregnant with L was hard. Going through the emotional stress of the pregnancy was super hard. Making the decision to place her was beyond hard. Yet every good thing that I have in my life, I have because I was blessed enough to carry that girl for 9 months and help to bring her into this world. It's why I have always had the peace that I do about making the decision to place her. Because she gave me everything that she was meant to give me, but she was never meant to be mine. But I will be eternally grateful for her, because of all of the amazing things I have in my life that she helped to prepare me for.
There is so much beauty in adoption, and I'm so grateful for everything that my small part in it has given to me.
So for the 4th Thursday of each month, it will be about something that's been going through my mind recently. I call it the Musings & Soapbox Moments week.
This month I decided to talk about how L is really the best thing that's ever happened to me. So just in case you've been living under a rock or are new to my blog, here's who L is. Just over 11 years ago I found out that I was pregnant. I was not married at the time. Nor was I a member of my church at the time, that happened about 2/3 of the way through my pregnancy. When L was born, I placed her with the people who were meant to be her family. At the time, it was her mom, her dad and her older brother. She now has 2 younger brothers as well. L is the only girl I've given birth to and she holds a very special place in my heart. It's probably a good thing that my husband and I have all boys, it makes her that much more special.
So I realized that it may sound odd to say that she's the best thing that ever happened to me, above my conversion and baptism, my marriage, and my sons. But here's why. I would have had NONE of those things if I hadn't been pregnant with L. It is because I was pregnant with her, that my heart was softened and I was ready to gain a testimony and join the church. Because of joining the church, that is how I met my husband and was able to be blessed with our boys.
I remember a quote from somewhere about Heavenly Father permitting hard/bad things to happen to us because He can see how much good will come out of them. Being pregnant with L was hard. Going through the emotional stress of the pregnancy was super hard. Making the decision to place her was beyond hard. Yet every good thing that I have in my life, I have because I was blessed enough to carry that girl for 9 months and help to bring her into this world. It's why I have always had the peace that I do about making the decision to place her. Because she gave me everything that she was meant to give me, but she was never meant to be mine. But I will be eternally grateful for her, because of all of the amazing things I have in my life that she helped to prepare me for.
There is so much beauty in adoption, and I'm so grateful for everything that my small part in it has given to me.
Thursday, October 2, 2014
Thankful Thursday and 30 Things
1) I am grateful for my amazing friend, AJ. She has been there to listen to me a lot, especially this past year. She helps me escape when I need a few hours away from the house. Of all of the amazing blessings I've been given while serving in YW callings, she's my favourite!
2) I am grateful for everything I've gained and learned in the past decade. When I turned 20, I had just joined the church a few months ago, had place L a month and a half before and had no clue where my life was going to take me next. Over these 10 years I married a wonderful man in the temple, we had 3 wonderful boys together, we learned just how much we're able to get through with each other and the help of our Heavenly Father. It truly has been a very amazing decade for me and I'm looking forward to seeing what my 30's bring.
3) I am grateful to officially have all of the winter gear shopping for the year done. I bought Brett's lighter mitts and Caleb's second pair of warm mitts this morning and I am now done and ready for the next round of snow (which can wait until after Caleb's baptism, pretty please). It's a big relief knowing there won't be a big rush for all of that stuff for us in a few weeks!
So since I'm turning 30 on Sunday, I decided to post 30 random facts about myself for it. I won't do it that day since I'll be busy watching General Conference and enjoying my bacon breakfast, so I'll just do it now.
1) I have more noticeable OCDisms than John, and he is officially diagnosed with it.
2) I love to randomly start dancing to music, even if it's just the tune stuck in my head.
3) I spent most of my weekends in grade 12 hanging out at home with my brother and have no regrets about it.
4) In my (almost) 30 years, I still haven't found a fashion style to stick with that works for me.
5) I have never had a broken bone.
6) If I was deep cleaning my room and rearranging it as a teen, it was best to stay away. It meant I was probably upset about something.
7) I read The Book of Mormon in a month earlier this year. I have no plans to do it that quickly again.
8) I have read the entire standard works cover to cover, and would love to do that one again.
9) I craved McDonald's cheeseburgers during my pregnancies with all 3 boys.
10) I can't stand typos. If they're mine, I need to correct them as soon as I notice them. If they were made by other people, it annoys me a lot more than it should.
11) I absolutely adore the baked ravioli that John makes for me. Seriously, someone should write a song about that stuff.
12) I have a huge fear of talking on the phone to people I don't know really well. I will avoid it at almost any cost.
13) One of my favourite gifts I've ever received was a handmade knit Ravenclaw scarf from my friend. She made it for me during transit rides and breaks at work.
14) My favourite book, contrary to what people think, is actually To Kill a Mockingbird.
15) My favourite thing to get in my stocking each year is notepads. I love making lists!
16) I LOVE bacon, but I make John cook it for me because I got several grease burns when I worked at KFC and they hurt really bad.
17) I have a slight obsession with Scentsy. Okay, more than slight.
18) I have really bad insomnia. It's a big deal if I manage to fall asleep without taking a pill to help with it or spending over an hour trying to fall asleep.
19) I have spring, summer and fall allergies that get worse each year. However, I finally found a medication rotation this year that works for me.
20) I love wearing fuzzy socks on cold days. I don't wear them out of the house very often, but they are amazing for around the house.
21) I sweep my floors in they same systematic way every single time I sweep them (remember number 1?).
22) My principal in my first elementary school wanted me to skip grade 2. Had my mum agreed to it, I would have still been 16 when I graduated from high school.
23) One year, I had 3 different Halloween costumes. One for school, one for Sparks and one for Halloween night.
24) When my brother and I were young, we got to help build our log cabin fort at our grandparents' farm. We loved that thing so much!
25) I actually get super excited each time Brettley outgrows a clothing size and I get to donate them instead of putting them into storage again. It feels like progress for some reason.
26) One of my most favourite days of the year is the day that I get my new calendar in the mail. I'm a sad, strange individual like that...
27) I seldom get sad when my kids move on from parts of their childhood, but I will admit to almost shedding a tear when Caleb decided he no longer wanted to hold my hand in front of his friend at the park.
28) My favourite place to eat is at Firestone in Lethbridge. I've only been there twice, but both experiences were absolutely amazing. John even said that they have ruined him for all other baked potatoes. I heartily agree!
29) I have been doing my own laundry since I was 7. It started because I got tired of picking Kleenix bits off of my clean clothes that had been in other people's pockets, so I begged my mum to teach me how to wash my own clothes.
30) I absolutely love sour gummy candies, particularly Sour Patch Kids. Yum!
2) I am grateful for everything I've gained and learned in the past decade. When I turned 20, I had just joined the church a few months ago, had place L a month and a half before and had no clue where my life was going to take me next. Over these 10 years I married a wonderful man in the temple, we had 3 wonderful boys together, we learned just how much we're able to get through with each other and the help of our Heavenly Father. It truly has been a very amazing decade for me and I'm looking forward to seeing what my 30's bring.
3) I am grateful to officially have all of the winter gear shopping for the year done. I bought Brett's lighter mitts and Caleb's second pair of warm mitts this morning and I am now done and ready for the next round of snow (which can wait until after Caleb's baptism, pretty please). It's a big relief knowing there won't be a big rush for all of that stuff for us in a few weeks!
So since I'm turning 30 on Sunday, I decided to post 30 random facts about myself for it. I won't do it that day since I'll be busy watching General Conference and enjoying my bacon breakfast, so I'll just do it now.
1) I have more noticeable OCDisms than John, and he is officially diagnosed with it.
2) I love to randomly start dancing to music, even if it's just the tune stuck in my head.
3) I spent most of my weekends in grade 12 hanging out at home with my brother and have no regrets about it.
4) In my (almost) 30 years, I still haven't found a fashion style to stick with that works for me.
5) I have never had a broken bone.
6) If I was deep cleaning my room and rearranging it as a teen, it was best to stay away. It meant I was probably upset about something.
7) I read The Book of Mormon in a month earlier this year. I have no plans to do it that quickly again.
8) I have read the entire standard works cover to cover, and would love to do that one again.
9) I craved McDonald's cheeseburgers during my pregnancies with all 3 boys.
10) I can't stand typos. If they're mine, I need to correct them as soon as I notice them. If they were made by other people, it annoys me a lot more than it should.
11) I absolutely adore the baked ravioli that John makes for me. Seriously, someone should write a song about that stuff.
12) I have a huge fear of talking on the phone to people I don't know really well. I will avoid it at almost any cost.
13) One of my favourite gifts I've ever received was a handmade knit Ravenclaw scarf from my friend. She made it for me during transit rides and breaks at work.
14) My favourite book, contrary to what people think, is actually To Kill a Mockingbird.
15) My favourite thing to get in my stocking each year is notepads. I love making lists!
16) I LOVE bacon, but I make John cook it for me because I got several grease burns when I worked at KFC and they hurt really bad.
17) I have a slight obsession with Scentsy. Okay, more than slight.
18) I have really bad insomnia. It's a big deal if I manage to fall asleep without taking a pill to help with it or spending over an hour trying to fall asleep.
19) I have spring, summer and fall allergies that get worse each year. However, I finally found a medication rotation this year that works for me.
20) I love wearing fuzzy socks on cold days. I don't wear them out of the house very often, but they are amazing for around the house.
21) I sweep my floors in they same systematic way every single time I sweep them (remember number 1?).
22) My principal in my first elementary school wanted me to skip grade 2. Had my mum agreed to it, I would have still been 16 when I graduated from high school.
23) One year, I had 3 different Halloween costumes. One for school, one for Sparks and one for Halloween night.
24) When my brother and I were young, we got to help build our log cabin fort at our grandparents' farm. We loved that thing so much!
25) I actually get super excited each time Brettley outgrows a clothing size and I get to donate them instead of putting them into storage again. It feels like progress for some reason.
26) One of my most favourite days of the year is the day that I get my new calendar in the mail. I'm a sad, strange individual like that...
27) I seldom get sad when my kids move on from parts of their childhood, but I will admit to almost shedding a tear when Caleb decided he no longer wanted to hold my hand in front of his friend at the park.
28) My favourite place to eat is at Firestone in Lethbridge. I've only been there twice, but both experiences were absolutely amazing. John even said that they have ruined him for all other baked potatoes. I heartily agree!
29) I have been doing my own laundry since I was 7. It started because I got tired of picking Kleenix bits off of my clean clothes that had been in other people's pockets, so I begged my mum to teach me how to wash my own clothes.
30) I absolutely love sour gummy candies, particularly Sour Patch Kids. Yum!
Thursday, August 15, 2013
Sans Children and 9 Years
The boys went to my mum's place on Friday until Wednesday. They had a blast there. On Saturday I hosted a small baby shower for my friend who's having her baby this coming Monday. John took a whole bunch of stuff to the dump for me that day and cleared out a fair chunk in our basement. We played a lot of MTG that weekend because my back was hurting and laying down is pretty much the worst thing for that, so I didn't get a lot of sleep.
Monday John took the day off and we went out for the day. We saw a good friend that I haven't seen in a while. Then we went for lunch at The Old Spaghetti Factory. We shopped around West Ed for a while and went to a comic shop. It was a long and exhausting day. Tuesday I just hung around and relaxed.
Yesterday John took the day off again because I wasn't feeling well in the morning. I was also watching K yesterday. We took the 4 boys to a splash park since it was so hot out. We had a picnic lunch there and spent several hours playing. It was fun and we met up with some friends. Later Caleb and Ty enjoyed their early birthday presents from Grandpa. Caleb got a skateboard and Ty got a scooter. They are really enjoying them!
Today is L's birthday. She is now 9 and saying that makes me feel kind of old :P I love her birthday, it's such a celebration of everything to do with her. So happy 9th birthday to the most beautiful girl in the world. I love you so much!
Monday John took the day off and we went out for the day. We saw a good friend that I haven't seen in a while. Then we went for lunch at The Old Spaghetti Factory. We shopped around West Ed for a while and went to a comic shop. It was a long and exhausting day. Tuesday I just hung around and relaxed.
Yesterday John took the day off again because I wasn't feeling well in the morning. I was also watching K yesterday. We took the 4 boys to a splash park since it was so hot out. We had a picnic lunch there and spent several hours playing. It was fun and we met up with some friends. Later Caleb and Ty enjoyed their early birthday presents from Grandpa. Caleb got a skateboard and Ty got a scooter. They are really enjoying them!
Today is L's birthday. She is now 9 and saying that makes me feel kind of old :P I love her birthday, it's such a celebration of everything to do with her. So happy 9th birthday to the most beautiful girl in the world. I love you so much!
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
Melatonin Works
This week's post is a day early since I'll be babysitting tomorrow for most of the day.
I went out for dinner with a friend of mine last Thursday at a burger joint called Soda Jerks. We were able to build our own burgers. It was really good, I'd definitely go there again on a calorie cheat day.
The boys let me sleep in on Friday, which I greatly enjoyed. I got a bunch of new songs with the iTunes money I earned and had my last regularly scheduled appointment with the psychologist I was working with. We were both really impressed with my progress and felt it was time to just check in every few months. That night we started Ty on melatonin. I never wanted to have to 'help' my kids sleep, but Ty was outlasting us almost every night and it was affecting pretty much all parts of his life. Since starting the melatonin he is asleep within an hour of taking it and is well rested the next day. His behavior has improved so much and I'm so grateful it was suggested to us. I suffer from insomnia, so he comes by sleep problems honestly.
Saturday we went to a birthday party for a family friend, which was held at a splash park. Caleb and Ty had a blast. Brettley wasn't so sure at first, but eventually ventured in and enjoyed it. I even let myself get the big bucket of water dumped on me twice! We had a lot of fun. That evening my brother and sister-in-law came over for supper and had a great visit with us. It was so awesome to see them, we'd really missed them.
Sunday the kids had their first Sunday with the Church Bag. I made up a backpack with stuff in it that they will only see on Sundays in sacrament meeting, like puzzles, church books and pictures, pipe cleaners, etc. Caleb and Ty did great with it and I'm really happy that I finally buckled down and did it.
Monday we didn't do very much, it was pretty warm. We did go to a BBQ at some friends' house to celebrate Canada Day and the boys really enjoyed it. I also found out that my mum and step-dad had needed to put the dog down on Friday. He was a great dog and kept me company a lot while I was pregnant with L, but he was old and very sick and it was time for him to go. The kids will miss him a lot, though.
Yesterday I had my first day of babysitting for the summer. K and Caleb got along really well, and K and Ty were already friends. It was record breaking hot yesterday, but we fared not too bad until around 4pm and then it got to the point where I had to give the kids cool baths and let them roam around the house in their underwear/diaper. My mum sent me a surprise parcel with a new lamp for my living room, which is pretty nice. It was a great surprise. We ended up with a big storm early in the night, which cooled things off really fast and was super amazing to watch. I love watching storms unless there's danger involved in watching them. Just really big hail this time (some were golf ball size).
So that's about all that's new at the Bly house. Brettley is down for his afternoon nap and I'm about to do the same :)
I went out for dinner with a friend of mine last Thursday at a burger joint called Soda Jerks. We were able to build our own burgers. It was really good, I'd definitely go there again on a calorie cheat day.
The boys let me sleep in on Friday, which I greatly enjoyed. I got a bunch of new songs with the iTunes money I earned and had my last regularly scheduled appointment with the psychologist I was working with. We were both really impressed with my progress and felt it was time to just check in every few months. That night we started Ty on melatonin. I never wanted to have to 'help' my kids sleep, but Ty was outlasting us almost every night and it was affecting pretty much all parts of his life. Since starting the melatonin he is asleep within an hour of taking it and is well rested the next day. His behavior has improved so much and I'm so grateful it was suggested to us. I suffer from insomnia, so he comes by sleep problems honestly.
Saturday we went to a birthday party for a family friend, which was held at a splash park. Caleb and Ty had a blast. Brettley wasn't so sure at first, but eventually ventured in and enjoyed it. I even let myself get the big bucket of water dumped on me twice! We had a lot of fun. That evening my brother and sister-in-law came over for supper and had a great visit with us. It was so awesome to see them, we'd really missed them.
Sunday the kids had their first Sunday with the Church Bag. I made up a backpack with stuff in it that they will only see on Sundays in sacrament meeting, like puzzles, church books and pictures, pipe cleaners, etc. Caleb and Ty did great with it and I'm really happy that I finally buckled down and did it.
Monday we didn't do very much, it was pretty warm. We did go to a BBQ at some friends' house to celebrate Canada Day and the boys really enjoyed it. I also found out that my mum and step-dad had needed to put the dog down on Friday. He was a great dog and kept me company a lot while I was pregnant with L, but he was old and very sick and it was time for him to go. The kids will miss him a lot, though.
Yesterday I had my first day of babysitting for the summer. K and Caleb got along really well, and K and Ty were already friends. It was record breaking hot yesterday, but we fared not too bad until around 4pm and then it got to the point where I had to give the kids cool baths and let them roam around the house in their underwear/diaper. My mum sent me a surprise parcel with a new lamp for my living room, which is pretty nice. It was a great surprise. We ended up with a big storm early in the night, which cooled things off really fast and was super amazing to watch. I love watching storms unless there's danger involved in watching them. Just really big hail this time (some were golf ball size).
So that's about all that's new at the Bly house. Brettley is down for his afternoon nap and I'm about to do the same :)
Monday, September 10, 2012
L Got Baptized
L was baptized on Saturday. Over 8 years ago I knew that one of the reasons I made the decision that I did was so that when she turned 8, she could be baptized by her dad, which is exactly what happened. No matter how much it has hurt at times through the past 8 years, I know in my heart that the experience she had this weekend is exactly what I wanted for her when I did the most difficult thing I've ever done in my life. She is amazing, her parents are amazing and they deserve all of the happiness in the world.
I know that D is a man that respects the priesthood he holds. I've felt it as he placed his hands on my head the day I placed L in C's arms when he gave me a blessing that I've thought back on many times. I'm so grateful that she is being raised in a home with such a wonderful father and priesthood holder and by a mother that is so awesome that I can't even put it all in to words. The love and gratitude that I have for C is beyond description and she will never fully know how much I admire her. When it comes down to it, I think these feelings are what adoption should really be about. I don't feel resentment, I feel love and admiration. I feel gratitude beyond anything I can ever express. These 3 people hold a special place in my heart that I go to at least once every day. I am so proud of L for making the choice to be baptized. That beautiful girl never fails to make me grateful to have had a hand in bringing her here to share her life with such an amazing family.
I know that D is a man that respects the priesthood he holds. I've felt it as he placed his hands on my head the day I placed L in C's arms when he gave me a blessing that I've thought back on many times. I'm so grateful that she is being raised in a home with such a wonderful father and priesthood holder and by a mother that is so awesome that I can't even put it all in to words. The love and gratitude that I have for C is beyond description and she will never fully know how much I admire her. When it comes down to it, I think these feelings are what adoption should really be about. I don't feel resentment, I feel love and admiration. I feel gratitude beyond anything I can ever express. These 3 people hold a special place in my heart that I go to at least once every day. I am so proud of L for making the choice to be baptized. That beautiful girl never fails to make me grateful to have had a hand in bringing her here to share her life with such an amazing family.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Vertigo...Again
I woke up this morning for the fifth morning in a row with dizziness. We took a day without pay (ouch!) and John took me to the Medicentre. I have vertigo that could take anywhere from 1 to 4 weeks to go away. I did get some pills to help with the dizziness though that have kicked in now. I've spent a lot of time over the past 5 days on Netflix (love it) and pinterest (absolutely adore it). I've been trying to find my fashion style, as I'll be needing a lot of new clothes by the end of the year. Pinterest has been a huge help with that.
I have had a realization in the last couple of weeks. L is turning 8 this year. What an amazing thing! I am ever so grateful for her and her amazing parents. They are such a positive force in my life and I'm so blessed to have this connection with them.
2012 is going to be such an amazing year. I'm excited to get to a healthy weight, for L to get baptized, for Caleb to start grade 1 and whatever else the year may bring us. Life is good. Life is very good.
I have had a realization in the last couple of weeks. L is turning 8 this year. What an amazing thing! I am ever so grateful for her and her amazing parents. They are such a positive force in my life and I'm so blessed to have this connection with them.
2012 is going to be such an amazing year. I'm excited to get to a healthy weight, for L to get baptized, for Caleb to start grade 1 and whatever else the year may bring us. Life is good. Life is very good.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Me, My Weight and My Baby Boy
A good friend of mine has been doing self improvement/realization questions on her blog and I've been answering them. They've been pretty good for me. She is reminding me that people don't see me as negatively as I see myself. I've realized that deep down I'm still a bit angry at B for being such a jerk about my being pregnant with L. I'm hoping to work on this one and let it go. Seriously, he's not worth the trouble. He's a child of God, but it doesn't mean that I have to like the things that he's done or let those things have power over me.
On a more positive note, I have officially lost 23.6 lbs since June! WOOHOO! Thank you so much to my AMAZING friend, Kyla, who has been keeping me accountable for my food intake and exercising for the past month and a half.
Other than that, things are going fairly well in the Bly home. A head cold for Brettley and I, but we're toughing it out. He's still quite happy. He popped out teeth #3 & #4 in the past few days and #5 is just about to cut through. I love my kids, I love my husband and I love my life:)
On a more positive note, I have officially lost 23.6 lbs since June! WOOHOO! Thank you so much to my AMAZING friend, Kyla, who has been keeping me accountable for my food intake and exercising for the past month and a half.
Other than that, things are going fairly well in the Bly home. A head cold for Brettley and I, but we're toughing it out. He's still quite happy. He popped out teeth #3 & #4 in the past few days and #5 is just about to cut through. I love my kids, I love my husband and I love my life:)
Monday, August 15, 2011
Rough Day
7 years ago I was in a delivery room, about to give birth to the most beautiful girl in the world. In the past, her birthday has never been a problem for me. I celebrated the fact that she was born, and all that she gave me.
Of course this year would be different. Mother's Day was wonderful, so I guess I needed to have another day that would be tough for me. I don't expect her birthday to be tough from now on. In fact, I expect this one will be the only really hard one for me. Because everything to do with a girl this year is hard for me. Watching friends have baby girls, knowing that the only girl I'll ever give birth to is the one I placed, it's been a really huge struggle. It eats away at me a lot more than I'd like to admit. Let's face it, no one likes a complainer and as much of a complainer as I am, I hold a lot back to keep it from being worse.
Just please allow me this one day to struggle. I wish people would stop reminding me of all of the good things that I have and trying to stop me from talking about what hurts. It's not going to get better if I don't talk about it. However, I know very few people who understand the bittersweetness of placing a child with another couple and I've only met 1 person who is in the same situation as me (placed a girl, married and then had 3 boys and won't be having any more kids). Thankfully, at least she told me that it's okay to hurt and that just because it hurts doesn't mean that I love any of my boys less than I should.
I would never want to be without Brettley in our lives. I love him. He is the sweetest little thing with a smile that can melt your heart. I love the other 2 boys as well. I just wanted a girl, too. A girl of my own. I pass cute little girl clothes in Walmart and I tear up. It hurts, it really hurts.
However, I am bound and determined that next year will be better. Because next year will be better. That sweet girl that B wanted me to abort will be getting baptized, and that is definitely something to be celebrated.
Of course this year would be different. Mother's Day was wonderful, so I guess I needed to have another day that would be tough for me. I don't expect her birthday to be tough from now on. In fact, I expect this one will be the only really hard one for me. Because everything to do with a girl this year is hard for me. Watching friends have baby girls, knowing that the only girl I'll ever give birth to is the one I placed, it's been a really huge struggle. It eats away at me a lot more than I'd like to admit. Let's face it, no one likes a complainer and as much of a complainer as I am, I hold a lot back to keep it from being worse.
Just please allow me this one day to struggle. I wish people would stop reminding me of all of the good things that I have and trying to stop me from talking about what hurts. It's not going to get better if I don't talk about it. However, I know very few people who understand the bittersweetness of placing a child with another couple and I've only met 1 person who is in the same situation as me (placed a girl, married and then had 3 boys and won't be having any more kids). Thankfully, at least she told me that it's okay to hurt and that just because it hurts doesn't mean that I love any of my boys less than I should.
I would never want to be without Brettley in our lives. I love him. He is the sweetest little thing with a smile that can melt your heart. I love the other 2 boys as well. I just wanted a girl, too. A girl of my own. I pass cute little girl clothes in Walmart and I tear up. It hurts, it really hurts.
However, I am bound and determined that next year will be better. Because next year will be better. That sweet girl that B wanted me to abort will be getting baptized, and that is definitely something to be celebrated.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
The Hardest Letters I've Had To Write
Just over 7 years ago I wrote a letter that would be the hardest thing I'd ever written in my life. C & D asked that I write a letter to give to Laur at a time of their choosing. Trying to put everything into words was so hard and my face was soaked with tears as I wrote it (I'm sure pregnancy hormones didn't help any).
That letter has now become the second hardest thing I've ever written. I just finished off my letter to my father in law. I have been trying for months to do this. Trying to tell an amazing man like that just how much they mean to you under these circumstances is such a hard thing to do. However, I did it, and I know that he'll appreciate it.
On to more fun things, we're finishing up getting everything ready to head off to Magrath tomorrow morning. I'm so excited:) I probably won't get on here much while I'm gone, so I hope you have a great few weeks.
That letter has now become the second hardest thing I've ever written. I just finished off my letter to my father in law. I have been trying for months to do this. Trying to tell an amazing man like that just how much they mean to you under these circumstances is such a hard thing to do. However, I did it, and I know that he'll appreciate it.
On to more fun things, we're finishing up getting everything ready to head off to Magrath tomorrow morning. I'm so excited:) I probably won't get on here much while I'm gone, so I hope you have a great few weeks.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
The Girl Thing and Dad B
I thought I was really making peace with not having a girl of my own. I'd been doing a lot better. However, this morning at church they announced that a couple in our ward had a baby girl this past week. In came the tears, a couple of different times. It got me to wondering, when will I be okay enough to stop crying every time that I hear that someone has had or is having a baby girl? I know there's a reason why John and I have all boys. I could even take a few guesses that are probably really good ones, but I don't fully know the answer. I probably never will in this life. So when will it stop stinging so bad that I cry? When will it stop throwing me for hours or days?
Don't get me wrong. I love all of my boys and I wouldn't trade them for anything. However, it would have been so nice to have a girl as well. I'm sure it wouldn't have hurt as much if there wasn't a beautiful girl out there who's turning 7 in less than a month that I carried in me for 9 months before I placed her in the arms of one of the most amazing women I know.
So now I'm looking forward to going to Magrath even more and being able to take a step out of my normal life and just enjoy things. To spend time with one of the most wonderful men in the world. Remembering Dad and what he's going through helps me to keep my perspective better. He's such a blessing in my life. I love him so much. However, before Thursday, I want to write him the letter that I've been thinking about writing since we got the bad news last year. I don't know how to put all of this into writing, but I know that I need to do it. Because he's amazing, and I love him.
Don't get me wrong. I love all of my boys and I wouldn't trade them for anything. However, it would have been so nice to have a girl as well. I'm sure it wouldn't have hurt as much if there wasn't a beautiful girl out there who's turning 7 in less than a month that I carried in me for 9 months before I placed her in the arms of one of the most amazing women I know.
So now I'm looking forward to going to Magrath even more and being able to take a step out of my normal life and just enjoy things. To spend time with one of the most wonderful men in the world. Remembering Dad and what he's going through helps me to keep my perspective better. He's such a blessing in my life. I love him so much. However, before Thursday, I want to write him the letter that I've been thinking about writing since we got the bad news last year. I don't know how to put all of this into writing, but I know that I need to do it. Because he's amazing, and I love him.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Catch Up On Songs
I decided to catch up to the day of the month with my 30 day song challenge so that I'll be done by the end of the month. Since I just post the links and not the actual video it won't take up a bunch of room. So here we go:
Day 2 - My Least Favourite Song
Safety Dance - Men Without Hats
I'm sure there's a song I dislike more, but this was the first one that came to mind. Funny enough, John loves this song.
Day 3 - A Song That Makes Me Happy
Boys of Summer - The Ataris
I remember that John and I were listening to music in the car right after my morning sickness with Caleb went away and this song came on and I just started rocking out to it. It's just a song that helps me feel happy no matter how rough things are or have been lately.
Day 4 - A Song That Makes Me Sad
Daddy's Girl - Red Sovine
It used to make me sad because I never had the kind of relationship with my dad that I would have liked. Now it makes me sad because I'll never get to play this while watching John hold a daughter. No video for this one, sorry.
Day 5 - A Song That Reminds Me Of Someone
The Reason - Hoobastank
I could have used many songs because I associate lots of songs with people, but I decided to use this one because every single time I hear it, it reminds me of L. She was the reason that I decided to change who I was. It's another strange video, though.
Day 6 - A Song That Reminds Me Of Somewhere
Southside - Moby
This song was huge the year that I lived in Lethbridge and so we heard it a LOT. No video because we felt it was inappropriate.
Day 7 - A Song That Reminds Me Of A Certain Event
Breakaway - Kelly Clarkson
This was my brother's grad song. I wore a beautiful dress to his grad that I actually got to pick out (I didn't get to pick my grad dress because it had to work for my mum's wedding which was 2 months later). I had a really nice date for my brother's grad and I got to see my little Rooie rock his fedora.
Day 8 - A Song I Know All The Words To
There's no song or video for this because I know all of the words to almost every single song on our iTunes that is mine.
Day 9 - A Song You Can Dance To
Thriller/Heads Will Roll Mash Up - Glee Cast
Again, I could have picked a lot of songs, but I just decided to go with this one. I just want to clarify that I don't really like the SHOW Glee, but I do love a lot of the music on it, which is where YouTube is nice to have.
Day 10 - A Song That Makes You Fall Asleep
Only Time - Enya
I love it, but I associate it with sleep because when I worked in daycare it was a long we played quietly a lot in the infant room while they were napping.
Day 11 - A Song From Your Favourite Band
Neutron Star Collision - Muse
This was tough for me because I really don't have a favourite band, I just have songs that I like. However, we do like Muse in this house, so I went with one by them.
There, I'm up to date now. Also, a very happy 4 months old birthday to my beautiful little boy, Brettley.
Day 2 - My Least Favourite Song
Safety Dance - Men Without Hats
I'm sure there's a song I dislike more, but this was the first one that came to mind. Funny enough, John loves this song.
Day 3 - A Song That Makes Me Happy
Boys of Summer - The Ataris
I remember that John and I were listening to music in the car right after my morning sickness with Caleb went away and this song came on and I just started rocking out to it. It's just a song that helps me feel happy no matter how rough things are or have been lately.
Day 4 - A Song That Makes Me Sad
Daddy's Girl - Red Sovine
It used to make me sad because I never had the kind of relationship with my dad that I would have liked. Now it makes me sad because I'll never get to play this while watching John hold a daughter. No video for this one, sorry.
Day 5 - A Song That Reminds Me Of Someone
The Reason - Hoobastank
I could have used many songs because I associate lots of songs with people, but I decided to use this one because every single time I hear it, it reminds me of L. She was the reason that I decided to change who I was. It's another strange video, though.
Day 6 - A Song That Reminds Me Of Somewhere
Southside - Moby
This song was huge the year that I lived in Lethbridge and so we heard it a LOT. No video because we felt it was inappropriate.
Day 7 - A Song That Reminds Me Of A Certain Event
Breakaway - Kelly Clarkson
This was my brother's grad song. I wore a beautiful dress to his grad that I actually got to pick out (I didn't get to pick my grad dress because it had to work for my mum's wedding which was 2 months later). I had a really nice date for my brother's grad and I got to see my little Rooie rock his fedora.
Day 8 - A Song I Know All The Words To
There's no song or video for this because I know all of the words to almost every single song on our iTunes that is mine.
Day 9 - A Song You Can Dance To
Thriller/Heads Will Roll Mash Up - Glee Cast
Again, I could have picked a lot of songs, but I just decided to go with this one. I just want to clarify that I don't really like the SHOW Glee, but I do love a lot of the music on it, which is where YouTube is nice to have.
Day 10 - A Song That Makes You Fall Asleep
Only Time - Enya
I love it, but I associate it with sleep because when I worked in daycare it was a long we played quietly a lot in the infant room while they were napping.
Day 11 - A Song From Your Favourite Band
Neutron Star Collision - Muse
This was tough for me because I really don't have a favourite band, I just have songs that I like. However, we do like Muse in this house, so I went with one by them.
There, I'm up to date now. Also, a very happy 4 months old birthday to my beautiful little boy, Brettley.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
The Other Letter
I've decided to forego the Attitude of Gratitude for this week and write the other letter instead.
Dear Future (and hopefully wiser) Self:
To be perfectly honest, I have no idea what the last 10 years have been like for you. Oh, there are some basics that I have no doubt of. You and John will have just celebrated your 15th wedding anniversary this past New Year's Eve. Your boys probably still drive you up the wall, just not for the same reasons they do as I'm writing this. Even so, you are so grateful for each of them and love them more than they'll ever know. You are still active in church and have served in a few callings between my now and your now. These things I'm sure of because I know that these things are the most important things in the world to you and that they make up most of who you are.
L is just about to turn 17, I'm sure you're probably starting to get nervous about seeing her face to face again next year. If things haven't changed too much in that respect, you will be worried about what to say and about how much she'll really understand about why you made the decision you made. There's one thing you've known all along though, she'll never be upset for being raised by C & D because they are amazing and you couldn't have chose better (well, the Lord chose and we chose to follow His plan, really). Just keep praying to have the words that you'll need to have.
Caleb will have started going to youth dances by now. Is he like you, does he love to dance? Or is he like John and really not into that? What kind of a person has he become? Does he have a strong testimony? Do Ty and Brett have strong testimonies? How long did it take Brett to catch up to his actual age? He's a month behind, maybe a titch less, as I'm writing this. How long was Ty a complete turkey for?
There are more things that I wonder about. Did any of your family end up joining the church? Did you make it back to Utah? Have you and John managed to take a vacation without kids yet? Has your bipolar stayed relatively manageable? Did you ever start having less anxiety attacks than I'm having now? Have you managed to get to a healthy weight again? Have Roo & D had any kids yet?
However, like I said. I already know the basics of what you are because the things that are most important to us are just THAT important and they always will be that important. I hope that your past 10 years have been a bit easier on you than my last 10 years have been, but my last 10 years have helped to shape who we both are. As rough as the ride has been, I wouldn't trade what came out of it for anything and I'm sure you feel the same. Just keep on going and never lose sight of what we're striving to keep, an eternal family.
Lots of love:
Your 10 Year Younger Self
Dear Future (and hopefully wiser) Self:
To be perfectly honest, I have no idea what the last 10 years have been like for you. Oh, there are some basics that I have no doubt of. You and John will have just celebrated your 15th wedding anniversary this past New Year's Eve. Your boys probably still drive you up the wall, just not for the same reasons they do as I'm writing this. Even so, you are so grateful for each of them and love them more than they'll ever know. You are still active in church and have served in a few callings between my now and your now. These things I'm sure of because I know that these things are the most important things in the world to you and that they make up most of who you are.
L is just about to turn 17, I'm sure you're probably starting to get nervous about seeing her face to face again next year. If things haven't changed too much in that respect, you will be worried about what to say and about how much she'll really understand about why you made the decision you made. There's one thing you've known all along though, she'll never be upset for being raised by C & D because they are amazing and you couldn't have chose better (well, the Lord chose and we chose to follow His plan, really). Just keep praying to have the words that you'll need to have.
Caleb will have started going to youth dances by now. Is he like you, does he love to dance? Or is he like John and really not into that? What kind of a person has he become? Does he have a strong testimony? Do Ty and Brett have strong testimonies? How long did it take Brett to catch up to his actual age? He's a month behind, maybe a titch less, as I'm writing this. How long was Ty a complete turkey for?
There are more things that I wonder about. Did any of your family end up joining the church? Did you make it back to Utah? Have you and John managed to take a vacation without kids yet? Has your bipolar stayed relatively manageable? Did you ever start having less anxiety attacks than I'm having now? Have you managed to get to a healthy weight again? Have Roo & D had any kids yet?
However, like I said. I already know the basics of what you are because the things that are most important to us are just THAT important and they always will be that important. I hope that your past 10 years have been a bit easier on you than my last 10 years have been, but my last 10 years have helped to shape who we both are. As rough as the ride has been, I wouldn't trade what came out of it for anything and I'm sure you feel the same. Just keep on going and never lose sight of what we're striving to keep, an eternal family.
Lots of love:
Your 10 Year Younger Self
Friday, June 3, 2011
Letter To Myself
I love when I read thought provoking blogs. This morning's was "What Would You Tell Your 18 Year Old Self". I've decided to make record of this in my blog for myself because it's so interesting (to me). Read if you'd like, but please note that I'm writing this for my benefit, not your's, so no negative comments, please.
Dear Younger, Skinnier Self:
Your life for the next 8.5 years is going to be several battles, but the best parts of your life will come during this time as well. First, learn not to test people to see if they sincerely care for you. This will end up costing you the relationship that you're currently in.
Don't end up going to school next year to get away from that person. It will only end up costing you money that you don't need to be spending. Instead, find a decent job, get out on your own and enjoy life. Don't get your eyebrow pierced, for several reasons (one of them being that it will get infected about a month after you get it anyway).
When you are 19 you will find yourself pregnant and the father of the baby is not going to help out, regardless of how much you try to convince him otherwise. Do your best to take care of the baby and you will know how to make the best decision for the baby later on. (Oh, it's a girl, so stop calling it Caleb)
While you are pregnant you will be invited to go to a baptism and church service. Do not under any circumstances turn this down. We have done that once before. The decision to go will change your life for the better in ways that you couldn't possibly imagine.
About 5 weeks before your due date you will realize that the baby girl you're carrying is not meant to be your's. When you hold her parent's profile, you'll know in an instant that it's them that she's meant to be with. Knowing that and having a testimony of the importance of an eternal family will be what helps you to get through after placement.
You will go into labour a week early and there will be no doctor in Wainwright who can deliver. It will be a complicated labour, so get to the hospital immediately. The doctors in L-Town will know what to do and the baby will be fine. You will make it through this. Stay strong during delivery (even if you have to tell your mom that you love her, but to shut up).
There will come a time that you will need to move away from home and to be with people who share the same beliefs that you do. Moving back to L-City may seem appealing, but you need to go to GP. Trust me. Just don't bother trying to work at KFC, you'll end up in the hospital over that one.
A month after you move there you will meet a guy wearing a really ugly tie. Don't take too long to warm up to him, that man will end up being the best thing that ever came into your life. He will be the answer to your prayers and the man who takes you to the temple to give you an eternal family of your own. (Oh, and HE will be the one to throw the air hockey pucks at you, not G)
Choose your wedding party carefully. Don't ask people out of a sense of obligation, choose them by who is actually more important to you now. You will spend years regretting it if you don't. Also, make sure to invest in some really good cold medicine when you realize that you're sick a week before your wedding. Drink NeoCitrin like it's going out of style.
When you and your husband find out that you're pregnant, make sure that you get yourself to a doctor as soon as possible and give Diclectin a try again. If you don't, you'll end up spending almost 2 months in bed, and crawling to the bathroom will be the only exercise you'll get.
3 months after you've had your first beautiful baby boy you will end up being told you have post partum depression. Trust me when I say that it is a LOT more complicated than that. You have bipolar. Do NOT get medication for it from the doctor, it will work for only a very short period of time and will cause weight gain that you would probably spend the rest of your life trying to get rid of. There is a vitamin supplement that will work for you. Start researching EMPowerplus.
You will have 2 more amazing little boys. The last one will come early, but he will be fine. When nurses give you a hard time about not being there more, know that you are doing your personal best and that Heavenly Father is pleased with what you're doing. It will seem like hardly anyone cares about what you are going through while he is in the hospital, but if you stick close to the Savior during this time it will be fine. Remember, not everyone thinks about things the same way that you do.
During these 8.5 years there will be comments made by family members that will really hurt you. Do your best to shrug them off and not hold a grudge. There were said without tact, but not meant to be malicious and you will only end up hurting yourself.
Above all else, never ever ever fall away from the things you'll gain a testimony of while you are pregnant. This testimony gave you the wonderful things in your life that you have. It is what changed your life for the better. You will remember what your life was like before and you will know that it's not worth going back to. You are a wonderful person who is trying very hard. Don't think poorly of yourself. It doesn't matter if you don't look exactly the way that you want to. You will look beautiful to the guy with the ugly tie, and that's all that matters. You are beautiful within and that's the beauty that TRULY counts in life.
One more thing...There is a friendship that you've known for years is only out of a sense of obligation. Slowly phase it out now and don't look back. Trust me, you're far better off this way.
Hang in there. It will be rough, but it will be worth it all.
Love:
Your Future, No Longer Skinny But Even More Loved, Self
Dear Younger, Skinnier Self:
Your life for the next 8.5 years is going to be several battles, but the best parts of your life will come during this time as well. First, learn not to test people to see if they sincerely care for you. This will end up costing you the relationship that you're currently in.
Don't end up going to school next year to get away from that person. It will only end up costing you money that you don't need to be spending. Instead, find a decent job, get out on your own and enjoy life. Don't get your eyebrow pierced, for several reasons (one of them being that it will get infected about a month after you get it anyway).
When you are 19 you will find yourself pregnant and the father of the baby is not going to help out, regardless of how much you try to convince him otherwise. Do your best to take care of the baby and you will know how to make the best decision for the baby later on. (Oh, it's a girl, so stop calling it Caleb)
While you are pregnant you will be invited to go to a baptism and church service. Do not under any circumstances turn this down. We have done that once before. The decision to go will change your life for the better in ways that you couldn't possibly imagine.
About 5 weeks before your due date you will realize that the baby girl you're carrying is not meant to be your's. When you hold her parent's profile, you'll know in an instant that it's them that she's meant to be with. Knowing that and having a testimony of the importance of an eternal family will be what helps you to get through after placement.
You will go into labour a week early and there will be no doctor in Wainwright who can deliver. It will be a complicated labour, so get to the hospital immediately. The doctors in L-Town will know what to do and the baby will be fine. You will make it through this. Stay strong during delivery (even if you have to tell your mom that you love her, but to shut up).
There will come a time that you will need to move away from home and to be with people who share the same beliefs that you do. Moving back to L-City may seem appealing, but you need to go to GP. Trust me. Just don't bother trying to work at KFC, you'll end up in the hospital over that one.
A month after you move there you will meet a guy wearing a really ugly tie. Don't take too long to warm up to him, that man will end up being the best thing that ever came into your life. He will be the answer to your prayers and the man who takes you to the temple to give you an eternal family of your own. (Oh, and HE will be the one to throw the air hockey pucks at you, not G)
Choose your wedding party carefully. Don't ask people out of a sense of obligation, choose them by who is actually more important to you now. You will spend years regretting it if you don't. Also, make sure to invest in some really good cold medicine when you realize that you're sick a week before your wedding. Drink NeoCitrin like it's going out of style.
When you and your husband find out that you're pregnant, make sure that you get yourself to a doctor as soon as possible and give Diclectin a try again. If you don't, you'll end up spending almost 2 months in bed, and crawling to the bathroom will be the only exercise you'll get.
3 months after you've had your first beautiful baby boy you will end up being told you have post partum depression. Trust me when I say that it is a LOT more complicated than that. You have bipolar. Do NOT get medication for it from the doctor, it will work for only a very short period of time and will cause weight gain that you would probably spend the rest of your life trying to get rid of. There is a vitamin supplement that will work for you. Start researching EMPowerplus.
You will have 2 more amazing little boys. The last one will come early, but he will be fine. When nurses give you a hard time about not being there more, know that you are doing your personal best and that Heavenly Father is pleased with what you're doing. It will seem like hardly anyone cares about what you are going through while he is in the hospital, but if you stick close to the Savior during this time it will be fine. Remember, not everyone thinks about things the same way that you do.
During these 8.5 years there will be comments made by family members that will really hurt you. Do your best to shrug them off and not hold a grudge. There were said without tact, but not meant to be malicious and you will only end up hurting yourself.
Above all else, never ever ever fall away from the things you'll gain a testimony of while you are pregnant. This testimony gave you the wonderful things in your life that you have. It is what changed your life for the better. You will remember what your life was like before and you will know that it's not worth going back to. You are a wonderful person who is trying very hard. Don't think poorly of yourself. It doesn't matter if you don't look exactly the way that you want to. You will look beautiful to the guy with the ugly tie, and that's all that matters. You are beautiful within and that's the beauty that TRULY counts in life.
One more thing...There is a friendship that you've known for years is only out of a sense of obligation. Slowly phase it out now and don't look back. Trust me, you're far better off this way.
Hang in there. It will be rough, but it will be worth it all.
Love:
Your Future, No Longer Skinny But Even More Loved, Self
Thursday, February 10, 2011
What Do You Think?
So I just realized that it's 3 weeks and 1 day until I'm allowed to go to my preferred hospital if I go into labour. That being said, I'm going to start opening up the polls for when I will have the baby and how big he'll be. So make sure to put your guess in on the polls on the side and also leave a comment with your more specific guess. To give you a bit of help with your guess, here's some background info.
I hit 37 weeks on Mar 11th and am 40 weeks on Apr 1st. My weight gain with the pregnancy has been normal, according to my OB.
L was born at 39 weeks (not induced) and was 6lbs 10.75oz.
Caleb was born at 37 weeks (not induced) and was 6lbs 7oz.
Ty was born at 38 weeks (induced, but would have come in a matter of days on his own) and was 6lbs 1oz.
So go ahead and have a guess. Maybe there will be something special for whoever is closest on the date as well as the weight.
PS
I will post my guesses after the polls close on Feb 20th.
I hit 37 weeks on Mar 11th and am 40 weeks on Apr 1st. My weight gain with the pregnancy has been normal, according to my OB.
L was born at 39 weeks (not induced) and was 6lbs 10.75oz.
Caleb was born at 37 weeks (not induced) and was 6lbs 7oz.
Ty was born at 38 weeks (induced, but would have come in a matter of days on his own) and was 6lbs 1oz.
So go ahead and have a guess. Maybe there will be something special for whoever is closest on the date as well as the weight.
PS
I will post my guesses after the polls close on Feb 20th.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Day 6
A SONG THAT MAKES YOU CRY (OR NEARLY) AND WHY
The first is From God's Arms, To My Arms, To Your's (written by Michael McLean). If you've ever heard it and know anything about me, there's no explaination necessary. If you're missing one of the other, here it goes. It's a song written for a birth mother to sing to the adoptive parents that she was placing her child with. I am not that birth mother, but I am A birth mother to the most beautiful girl in the world, L.
Another is I Was Not His Father, He Was Mine (also by Michael McLean). It's from Forgotten Carols and it always makes me think about how hard it would have been to know that you're raising the Son of God and that no matter what, you would never be better than this perfect child that you're raising. I can't imagine how inadequate Christ's mother and Joseph must have felt while they were bringing him up.
Yeah, so those are my big 2 songs. There are other ones that have ocassionally made me cry such as I Stand All Amazed, How Great Thou Art, The Reason by Hoobastank and others.
Have a great Sabbath Day!
The first is From God's Arms, To My Arms, To Your's (written by Michael McLean). If you've ever heard it and know anything about me, there's no explaination necessary. If you're missing one of the other, here it goes. It's a song written for a birth mother to sing to the adoptive parents that she was placing her child with. I am not that birth mother, but I am A birth mother to the most beautiful girl in the world, L.
Another is I Was Not His Father, He Was Mine (also by Michael McLean). It's from Forgotten Carols and it always makes me think about how hard it would have been to know that you're raising the Son of God and that no matter what, you would never be better than this perfect child that you're raising. I can't imagine how inadequate Christ's mother and Joseph must have felt while they were bringing him up.
Yeah, so those are my big 2 songs. There are other ones that have ocassionally made me cry such as I Stand All Amazed, How Great Thou Art, The Reason by Hoobastank and others.
Have a great Sabbath Day!
Monday, November 1, 2010
I'm Cool With It
I found out that a lot of people aren't sure of what to say to me about having another boy because they don't know how I feel about it. So here's the honest truth:
Yes, it hurts. After I found out I spent a few minutes in the bathroom right next to the u/s room bawling my eyes out. The little girl that I've been waiting on for over 6 years now will never come to me in this life (barring some huge miracle), because we are officially done after this. But then I remembered that this is about more than just me. I think I've mentioned this before that my husband has OCD. His doesn't manifest itself so much in the strict routines and organization, it's the obsessive thoughts that most people can shake out of their head that he can't, which in my opinion is a heck of a lot worse than the routines and stuff. When you combine this with trying to live a clean Christlike life it is VERY HARD. I don't envy John and I wish every day that I could take it away. That being said, I think that it's going to be a lot easier for John to never have a girl in this life. And if that's one of the things that I have to suck up and deal with to support him, then I'll do it with a smile on my face. I love him and he comes first before what I want.
So now I'm excited about having another boy. I don't have to buy as many clothes, just change up some seasonal stuff for the first couple of years. (However, I've still been buying some stuff because it's super cute and it's on clearance) I don't have to worry about how a girl would survive the 2 crazy boys that we already have. Finally, and here's the big sigh of relief, I will never have to deal with my daughter as she experiences psycho teenage girl hormones. I will just get 3 (hopefully) daughters-in-law who are already past that stage. I'm good with that. So yes, I am happily accepting congratulations. As long as no one tries to throw it in my face and laugh at me for not having a girl, I'm totally good.
We took a few days, but finally decided on a name for our new little man. After many near arguements, we chose Brettley Eoin Bly. Eoin is pronounced O-in and is the Irish form of John. Make fun of the name Brettley all you want, but I absolutely love it.
On Saturday we went to our ward's Halloween party in the morning. Caleb was Larry the Cucumber from Veggie Tales and Ty was a knight. They had lots of fun. They got some candy, played a couple of games and decorated some sugar cookies (which were amazing and I could definately tell they were the recipe that I use now that has cream cheese in it). That night John and I had our weekly date night. We had taco chips with sour cream and salsa and we organized Magic cards for our activity (his idea). Sound pretty boring, right? I LOVED it. I'm all about sorting things into categories and alphabetical order so I was entirely in my element. In fact, we kept on going last night because I'd enjoyed getting to do that and just having time to sit together and talk. So far we've done a date night every week since we committed to Project 52.
Not too much else is new right now, though. My boys just both have a nasty cough now and John has started doing lots of overtime. We're looking forward to spending a few nights in Magrath this weekend as we go to pick up the baby clothes we have stored there in my in-law's garage attic. Hope you have a great week:)
Yes, it hurts. After I found out I spent a few minutes in the bathroom right next to the u/s room bawling my eyes out. The little girl that I've been waiting on for over 6 years now will never come to me in this life (barring some huge miracle), because we are officially done after this. But then I remembered that this is about more than just me. I think I've mentioned this before that my husband has OCD. His doesn't manifest itself so much in the strict routines and organization, it's the obsessive thoughts that most people can shake out of their head that he can't, which in my opinion is a heck of a lot worse than the routines and stuff. When you combine this with trying to live a clean Christlike life it is VERY HARD. I don't envy John and I wish every day that I could take it away. That being said, I think that it's going to be a lot easier for John to never have a girl in this life. And if that's one of the things that I have to suck up and deal with to support him, then I'll do it with a smile on my face. I love him and he comes first before what I want.
So now I'm excited about having another boy. I don't have to buy as many clothes, just change up some seasonal stuff for the first couple of years. (However, I've still been buying some stuff because it's super cute and it's on clearance) I don't have to worry about how a girl would survive the 2 crazy boys that we already have. Finally, and here's the big sigh of relief, I will never have to deal with my daughter as she experiences psycho teenage girl hormones. I will just get 3 (hopefully) daughters-in-law who are already past that stage. I'm good with that. So yes, I am happily accepting congratulations. As long as no one tries to throw it in my face and laugh at me for not having a girl, I'm totally good.
We took a few days, but finally decided on a name for our new little man. After many near arguements, we chose Brettley Eoin Bly. Eoin is pronounced O-in and is the Irish form of John. Make fun of the name Brettley all you want, but I absolutely love it.
On Saturday we went to our ward's Halloween party in the morning. Caleb was Larry the Cucumber from Veggie Tales and Ty was a knight. They had lots of fun. They got some candy, played a couple of games and decorated some sugar cookies (which were amazing and I could definately tell they were the recipe that I use now that has cream cheese in it). That night John and I had our weekly date night. We had taco chips with sour cream and salsa and we organized Magic cards for our activity (his idea). Sound pretty boring, right? I LOVED it. I'm all about sorting things into categories and alphabetical order so I was entirely in my element. In fact, we kept on going last night because I'd enjoyed getting to do that and just having time to sit together and talk. So far we've done a date night every week since we committed to Project 52.
Not too much else is new right now, though. My boys just both have a nasty cough now and John has started doing lots of overtime. We're looking forward to spending a few nights in Magrath this weekend as we go to pick up the baby clothes we have stored there in my in-law's garage attic. Hope you have a great week:)
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Things That Are Going On
I don't have much to report, but I try to make an effort and post a least once per week, since this sort of doubles as my journal at the moment.
John's dad found us a new van and we'll be getting it on Saturday. It's a 2001 Ford Windstar. Apparently it's in really great condition and we got a really great deal on it.
Not too much else is new, I'm just trying to keep the nausea at bay. I don't mean to sound insensitive, and I'm sorry if it does, but I really don't enjoy this part of being pregnant and I will be very glad when it's over this time because then it will be over for good. I think it wouldn't bother me quite so much if it wasn't affecting the fact that I can't get in the vitamins that I need. But I decided today that it's better to be super nauseous than to go crazy again.
Caleb will be giving his first talk in Primary this coming Sunday, which I'm very excited about. Sunday is also L's 6th birthday, so on Monday we're going to have a cake to celebrate her and all of the wonderful change that she brought about in my life.
Oh, and my other good news is that we fixed the broken drive in the DELL and hooked it up again tonight, so I now have a working computer again. And Vista. I've missed Vista a lot in the past few months.
Well, I hope that you all have a wonderful weekend:)
John's dad found us a new van and we'll be getting it on Saturday. It's a 2001 Ford Windstar. Apparently it's in really great condition and we got a really great deal on it.
Not too much else is new, I'm just trying to keep the nausea at bay. I don't mean to sound insensitive, and I'm sorry if it does, but I really don't enjoy this part of being pregnant and I will be very glad when it's over this time because then it will be over for good. I think it wouldn't bother me quite so much if it wasn't affecting the fact that I can't get in the vitamins that I need. But I decided today that it's better to be super nauseous than to go crazy again.
Caleb will be giving his first talk in Primary this coming Sunday, which I'm very excited about. Sunday is also L's 6th birthday, so on Monday we're going to have a cake to celebrate her and all of the wonderful change that she brought about in my life.
Oh, and my other good news is that we fixed the broken drive in the DELL and hooked it up again tonight, so I now have a working computer again. And Vista. I've missed Vista a lot in the past few months.
Well, I hope that you all have a wonderful weekend:)
Monday, June 14, 2010
39 More Days Until Utah
This weekend we got Ty's room cleaned right out and set the toddler bed up in there for him. We also cleaned Caleb's room really well again. I was pretty sick for most of the weekend, so that stunk. On Friday we went to our ward's Cultural Night. We brought Swedish Meatballs as our dish as I'm part Swedish (which I've only found out in the last few years and I think is super cool). There was a lot of really good food there and we had a lot of fun. We managed to squish our family and John's sister's family at one round table so we had 4 adults and 8 kids there. The youngest two had to sit on laps. Caleb fell in love with meatballs and spring rolls.
Activity Days on Wednesday went really well, it was my easiest activity yet. It's great because the men are so laid back and were pretty much "There's food? This is awesome." I had lots of fun, and it was very obvious that the girls did too.
Not too much else is new here, though. I've got a lot going on this week though, I hope it all goes okay. Since this upcoming Sunday is Father's Day, I want to make a note of some important men in my life.
First is D, who is a wonderful man and great Father to L. I hope he has a wonderful Father's Day.
Second is Jason, who is like my Church dad. He is super amazing and the world needs more good people like him.
Third is my little Roo, who really isn't so little anymore. He was the man of the house as we were growing up and I'm very proud of the man that he has become.
Fourth is Dad Bly who is always there for me when I need someone to calm me down and help me level out, who has been one of the most supportive people through my struggles this last year. I sure lucked out in the father-in-law department, I got the best of the best.
Fifth is Dad Mattson, my dad, who has been so helpful with watching the boys and is always there for me when I need something during the day when John can't make it home.
Sixth is John. I love you so much and I'm so grateful to be your eternal companion. I'm so glad that we are experience the trials and blessings of parenthood together.
Seventh and last, is my loving Heavenly Father who loves me more than I can comprehend and who has helped me find a life so much better than the one that I had. This coming weekend will be 6 years since my baptism and confirmation and I'm so grateful to have Heavenly Father as a part of my life. Je t'aime.
Activity Days on Wednesday went really well, it was my easiest activity yet. It's great because the men are so laid back and were pretty much "There's food? This is awesome." I had lots of fun, and it was very obvious that the girls did too.
Not too much else is new here, though. I've got a lot going on this week though, I hope it all goes okay. Since this upcoming Sunday is Father's Day, I want to make a note of some important men in my life.
First is D, who is a wonderful man and great Father to L. I hope he has a wonderful Father's Day.
Second is Jason, who is like my Church dad. He is super amazing and the world needs more good people like him.
Third is my little Roo, who really isn't so little anymore. He was the man of the house as we were growing up and I'm very proud of the man that he has become.
Fourth is Dad Bly who is always there for me when I need someone to calm me down and help me level out, who has been one of the most supportive people through my struggles this last year. I sure lucked out in the father-in-law department, I got the best of the best.
Fifth is Dad Mattson, my dad, who has been so helpful with watching the boys and is always there for me when I need something during the day when John can't make it home.
Sixth is John. I love you so much and I'm so grateful to be your eternal companion. I'm so glad that we are experience the trials and blessings of parenthood together.
Seventh and last, is my loving Heavenly Father who loves me more than I can comprehend and who has helped me find a life so much better than the one that I had. This coming weekend will be 6 years since my baptism and confirmation and I'm so grateful to have Heavenly Father as a part of my life. Je t'aime.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
The Rest of the Secrets
I guess I can spill the other secrets now. I've just started being the secretary for the Canadian Regional Birth Parent Training Committee. I haven't really done anything yet, but I'm excited about it. It's through LDS Family Services, so I've gotten to talk to my case worker from L's adoption a few times in this last week. It should be really good though, and I'm so excited to be able to give back to the world of adoption. I know I've been talking about it a lot lately, and I'm sorry if it's boring the snot out of people, but it's something I'm really passionate about.
And I just found out yesterday that I'll be on the major birth parent panel during the FSA National Conference in Utah at the end of July. This means I'll be telling my adoption story and answering questions about adoption in front of hundreds of people. I will be honest, I feel like I'm going to need to bring a puke bucket with me. But I'm so honoured to do this. When I wrote the story out on here a couple of months ago, I bawled my eyes out while doing so. It was the first time I'd ever told the WHOLE story all at once. It was really hard. But so much good has come out of me writing that story. A from FSA read about it and things just kind of snowballed from there. I know now that I was prompted to write about it so that I could start serving in the adoption community the way that I'm going to be from now on.
I'm starting to get nervous about how I will handle the stress of these new responsibilities along with the stress of my calling in Activity Days. I was pretty stressed when it was just Activity Days. But I feel so strongly that I'm supposed to do this, so I have faith that I'll be given the strength that I need to serve.
50 Days Until Utah! YAHOO!!!
And I just found out yesterday that I'll be on the major birth parent panel during the FSA National Conference in Utah at the end of July. This means I'll be telling my adoption story and answering questions about adoption in front of hundreds of people. I will be honest, I feel like I'm going to need to bring a puke bucket with me. But I'm so honoured to do this. When I wrote the story out on here a couple of months ago, I bawled my eyes out while doing so. It was the first time I'd ever told the WHOLE story all at once. It was really hard. But so much good has come out of me writing that story. A from FSA read about it and things just kind of snowballed from there. I know now that I was prompted to write about it so that I could start serving in the adoption community the way that I'm going to be from now on.
I'm starting to get nervous about how I will handle the stress of these new responsibilities along with the stress of my calling in Activity Days. I was pretty stressed when it was just Activity Days. But I feel so strongly that I'm supposed to do this, so I have faith that I'll be given the strength that I need to serve.
50 Days Until Utah! YAHOO!!!
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