Change of Plans

I planned on doing a huge post tomorrow to celebrate Caleb's 7th birthday, but instead I'll be doing the final packing and preparing my house to head out to my grandma's funeral service.

I have taken the news about my grandma a LOT harder than I thought I would. My grandma taught me more about homemaking than anyone else in my life. When I chose to stay at home with my kids, my grandma was my biggest supporter. She understood the joys and frustrations of this better than anyone else in my family and never failed to let me know that I was making a valuable contribution even though I chose to forgo post-secondary education and out-of-home employment.

Grandma was never afraid to speak her mind about what she thought and felt, which is a trait I admire. She loved my boys so much and was always anxious to hear about what they were up to. When Brettley was born she opened her heart to John and I about a painful experience she'd been through so that we'd know that there was someone in the family who understood how terrifying it is to have a premature baby.

Over the past few years my grandma fell victim to Alzheimer's and dementia. In the spring of 2012 she was moved to a care facility when she could no longer walk. It has been a few years since I've seen her, at the request of my mum. I remember my grandma from the time when she remembered that she was my grandma. I have been missing her for a few years now, but now I miss her in a new way. I'm so glad that her struggle is over and that she is herself again and able to remember me and how much I love her. Grandma seldom said it in words that she loved me, but she never failed to show it in her actions.

I love you, Grandma, and I miss you so much!

Settling In To The School Year

Illness has been running around the Bly house the past couple of weeks. Caleb got a head cold that has hung on for about 10 days now. John and I were hit with it as well, so he ended up needing to take 2 days off of work because he was sick. That's kind of a big deal because I can count on 1 hand the amount of days John has taken off of work for his own illness since I met him. I had vertigo for a few days and ended up sleeping for 13 hours last night because I was so wiped out.

Ty has been absolutely loving school and his teacher commented that he's settled down a lot the last 2 days, which was great to hear. Brettley has been enjoying doing preschool things with me, and especially loves singing the songs. Caleb had to miss most of last week's school as well as missing his first piano lesson because he was so sick, but he's very happy to be back at school this week.

This coming Saturday we're celebrating Caleb's birthday (it's next Wednesday). Instead of having a party with his friends, he asked for just our family to go to Chuck-E-Cheese instead. I was very happy with the compromise and am looking forward to seeing the kids have fun playing the games.

I think that's about all that's new, there's just been a lot of resting going on this past week, ha ha.

Back to School

School has started up again, and it's been a great time for our family. Caleb started grade 2 and Ty started Kindergarten. The feelings I've had over the last 2 weeks have been a big topic of discussion in our house, and here, on my own little piece of the internet, I decided to chat about them. I am not a parent who cries when my kids go to school. I don't feel sad. While I notice they aren't here, I don't consciously miss them. So I've been thinking to myself 'Does this make me a bad parent?'. I've come to the conclusion that it doesn't.

I love my kids, they mean more to me than almost anything. They know that I love them, I tell them many times every day and show it in the things I do for them and with them. But when they go to school, it means that they are progressing. They are learning new skills, becoming more independent and becoming their own person. I don't see that as a sad thing. It's exciting. It means that they are doing their job and I'm doing mine. It means that I am helping them become they person that they are meant to be and that's what parenting is all about.

And let's be truthful here for a minute. We enjoy the time apart! Caleb and I have extremely similar personalities. We are highly emotional people who thrive on routine. Summer holidays, Christmas holidays and spring break are horrible for us. Our routine is taken away and we lash out at each other for it. So we love school and during that time we are more appreciative of each other and find it easier to show the other how much they mean to us.

As for Ty, if you happen to know Ty, you know why I'm over the moon that he's finally in school. If you don't know Ty, you are both blessed and cursed. He's one of the most high energy kids I've ever known, but he loves life and is absolutely hilarious. But yeah, a few hours apart gives me a chance to breathe and regroup, which is extremely helpful.

Lastly, with Ty in school in the mornings, I am home with just Brettley and am FINALLY able to give him the 1 on 1 attention he needs to catch up in his development. We have activities to do every day and he enjoys not having to fight with Ty for attention. Then while Brettley naps in the afternoon and I have time with just Ty, who is having a hard time figuring out where he belongs as the middle child. Life right now is really great, and if anyone sees me as a bad mother for enjoying what the school year gives us, then judge away, I have no shame about it :)