Change of Plans

I planned on doing a huge post tomorrow to celebrate Caleb's 7th birthday, but instead I'll be doing the final packing and preparing my house to head out to my grandma's funeral service.

I have taken the news about my grandma a LOT harder than I thought I would. My grandma taught me more about homemaking than anyone else in my life. When I chose to stay at home with my kids, my grandma was my biggest supporter. She understood the joys and frustrations of this better than anyone else in my family and never failed to let me know that I was making a valuable contribution even though I chose to forgo post-secondary education and out-of-home employment.

Grandma was never afraid to speak her mind about what she thought and felt, which is a trait I admire. She loved my boys so much and was always anxious to hear about what they were up to. When Brettley was born she opened her heart to John and I about a painful experience she'd been through so that we'd know that there was someone in the family who understood how terrifying it is to have a premature baby.

Over the past few years my grandma fell victim to Alzheimer's and dementia. In the spring of 2012 she was moved to a care facility when she could no longer walk. It has been a few years since I've seen her, at the request of my mum. I remember my grandma from the time when she remembered that she was my grandma. I have been missing her for a few years now, but now I miss her in a new way. I'm so glad that her struggle is over and that she is herself again and able to remember me and how much I love her. Grandma seldom said it in words that she loved me, but she never failed to show it in her actions.

I love you, Grandma, and I miss you so much!