Our 2017 in Review aka My Version of a Christmas Letter

Our 2017

January
Caleb went to visit Grandma and Grandpa. He caught a fish and named it Phil. Ty started helping with supper occassionaly so he can learn how to cook. Brettley had his third eye surgery for his strabismus. He was all smiles until after the surgery. He was then miserable until the nurse gave him a magical popsicle and they told us we could go home. He just wanted some comfort of familiarity. I actively participated in #BellLetsTalk day, opening up publicly about my personal struggles with mental illness.

February
Brettley turned 6 and had his birthday outing with his grandparents at West Edmonton Mall. Our oldest nephew came home from his mission, so we travelled for his homecoming talk. It was a trip that would change our lives forever. That was the weekend we realized that it was finally time to move down to Magrath. We also got to have our niece stay with us for a week. She was the first person to know we were considering moving. Caleb and I started decluttering our house in hopes of moving.

March
We had a family fun day at the Telus World of Science, courtesy of my sister and her boyfriend. The boys loved the Angry Birds exhibit. We also finished our homeschool year in mid-March. It worked out well for us that we finished then so that we could focus on getting ready for our big move, which we still hadn’t announced yet. Also, for the first time in Caleb’s life the Oilers went to the playoffs, which was a very big deal in our house. We had our annual birthday dessert on John’s dad’s birthday to remember and celebrate him.

April
The kids and I spent a week in Magrath visiting their aunt, uncle and cousins. Also, we officially announced our move at the end of April. John still had no job down here, but we knew it was the right thing and made the decision on faith.

May
My hair went teal for 3 weeks as part of my fundraiser for Relay for Life. We spent Mother’s Day in Wainwright with my mum because I avoid Mother’s Day like the plague. Rogue, our hamster, moved to her new home where she spent the last 6 months of her life. John and I went to Magrath for a long weekend to help get the house ready for our family. Brettley also learned to ride a 2 wheeler that weekend while the kids were staying with my dad. I did Relay for Life and walked 5 miles before I was ordered to sit the rest out, as I blistered up horribly. Still, I am so glad that I walked in memory of my father-in-law (pancreatic cancer) and in celebration of my mum (thyroid cancer survivor). Ty walked 6 miles and Caleb walked 6.4 miles that day. We never did figure out how much Brettley walked. They were amazing, though.

June
After 11 years in Edmonton, and 6 years in that home, we said goodbye. It was the longest I’d ever lived anywhere in my life. We moved in to John’s mom’s house, the house he grew up in. We also inherited a cat by moving in. Webster is adorable! John had to head back to Edmonton as he still didn’t have a job down here. The boys did some camping in the yard with their cousins. We also did daily gardening. We took the boys to the temple for a visit and they cleaned up the pieces of garbage they found on the temple grounds. They love the temple so much.

July
The boys spent time with their Grandma and Grandpa and I went to visit Edmonton. I got to go see the Queen + Adam Lambert concert with a good friend, which is a concert I’d wanted to see for years. They did not disappoint, it was amazing. I also spent a few days visiting my best friend before heading back to Magrath. Our niece came to spend most of the summer with me to help out with the kids. I could not have gotten through it without her. John came to stay for a week and I managed to sprain my ankle on his birthday, oops. The boys started swimming lessons, but Brettley only got to do a day or two before he ended up with croup and had to miss the rest of his lessons.

August
Caleb passed Swim Kids 4 and Ty passed Swim Kids 2. Caleb has asked to do 2 rounds of swimming next summer instead of just 1. He loves it. We started harvesting the garden. I got 16 pints of green beans and 20 pints of corn. John’s mom left for her mission. She is serving as an office specialist in the Canada Winnipeg Mission. We FINALLY got the news that John would be able to continue working for the Edmonton office out of the Lethbridge office. Many happy tears were cried the day we got the news. My niece and I took the boys to the corn maze, which they loved. Ty especially loved seeing the pigs that were there. John came home for good (YAY) and we got a barbeque. The boys got to take a tour of their new school.

September
The boys started school at their new school. Caleb went to grade 6, Tyrell to grade 4 and we opted to have Brettley repeat grade 1 so that he could learn how to handle a public school environment. Also, in the spirit of openness and honesty, this is the month where my mental illness just kept getting worse and worse, prompting me to seek help. I joined School Council, originally as Division 2 representative. Caleb turned 11 and received his Hogwarts Letter and an owl. Ty also started speech therapy, and has gotten so much better at both slowing down and pronouncing his r’s.

October
My dad came to visit for a week to help me out. We got snow, snow and more snow. The boys enjoyed their first official Snow Day. I baked cookies and even a Saskatoon berry pie. My brother came to visit me on birthday. What a wonderful surprise it was. John was called as the Young Men Secretary for our ward. Ty turned 9 and had his requested German Chocolate Cake for his birthday. For Halloween Caleb was a military pilot, Ty was Harry Potter and Brettley was Boba Fett. They went trick or treating with their cousins and had a blast.

November
I would really prefer to forget November happened, to be perfectly honest, as a very sad thing happened in our extended family. Brettley also sliced his ear very badly at school that month. He needed 5 stitches and glue for it. I eventually started decorating for Christmas. The lack of snow made it hard to feel festive, but it’s been fun having our geeky stockings up.

December
My mum came to stay with us for a week as I adjusted to a new medication dosage. It was wonderful and so much help having her here. Caleb took over Elf on a Shelf this year and has been doing great. We decorated our tree, which for the first time in our marriage is a real tree. Our brother-in-law next door cut it for us when he got theirs. We also have outdoor Christmas lights for the first time in our marriage, which are on our deck railing. They are beautiful and I love them. We also had our tankless water heater die on us and were without hot water for a week until the new tank got here. It was quite the interesting experience. My position on School Council changed and I am now the secretary. And…my good and okay days finally started outweighing my bad days! YAHOO!

Happy Christmas from Nikki, John, Caleb, Tyrell and Brettley

November 2017, Part 1

We have had cold after cold pass through our house the past few weeks. I guess that's the hazard of having the kids back in public school. I think John's the only one who really hasn't been hit by it.

Brettley asked one day if I could make him play dough. I got more creative than usual and made him chocolate play dough. He loves it!

We got the kids' school photos back and they look awesome!




Our November 7 started and ended very sadly. In the morning, our former family pet (Rogue the hamster) passed away. Later that night, we were awoken by the kind of phone call that you never want to get. Our brother-in-law in Edmonton had been in a fatal car accident. He was up north by Grande Prairie for work and his vehicle hit a moose. We were in the same ward as them for over 11 years and it has been a heartbreaking couple of weeks. How blessed we have all been to have the knowledge that we are an eternal family. We have been asking our family and friends to please keep John's sister and six kids in their prayers at this time as they move forward from this. I shared some thoughts about Mike on Facebook that I'd like to put up here as well:

"I have had thoughts swim through my head over the past few days that I would really like to share about my brother-in-law. I first met Mike before John and I were even a couple. Mike had come to Grande Prairie to visit John for August long weekend. In the years after he always liked to tease me that he had known before John and I did that we would end up married.

Mike loved his family, his Heavenly Father and his Saviour above all else. He prioritized making memories with his wife and children. He was one of the most selfless people I've ever met. He was always willing to help anyone in need and served whole-heartedly and quietly in his callings. I remember seeing him carry a whole auxiliary on his shoulders without a single complaint. Mike was a shining example of self-reliance and humility.

Mike was and is family that I love and respect very much. He will be an asset to the spirit world in teaching souls there about the fullness of the gospel that he loved so dearly. I am so incredibly grateful at this time for the knowledge that the family is meant to be an eternal unit and to know that through temple marriages our family will remain family with Mike for eternity. We love Mike and pray for his work in the gospel to continue to be amazing on the other side of the veil."

So many things have been put in to perspective for us this month about what's truly important in life. The things I'm learning are:
1) Take more photos as a family and of our candid moments
2) Take videos of each other that include our voices
3) Focus more on making memories together as a family
4) Work on being more selfless and humble
5) Give your very best to each calling you hold
6) Love everyone in spite of and because of the differences between you
7) Learn to let the little things go
8) Keep in touch with friends and extended family better
Among others...

Belated Birthday Post aka Nikki Turned 33

So I feel like I'm not blogging often enough. This is the only journal I keep for myself and our family, unless you include things like Facebook and Instagram. I realized that I did fact about Caleb and Ty for their birthdays, but I didn't do facts for me about mine (probably because I was in a medication fog at the time). So I'm doing them now. My belated 33 facts about myself for my 33rd birthday.

1) Growing up, my favourite colour was blue. In the past 10 years it changed to purple, as that's the colour for pancreatic cancer awareness. Plus, purple is awesome!

2) My state of mind is almost always directly related to how clean or organized my house is.
3) When I was upset about something as a teenager I would deep clean and rearrange my room.
4) I don't really like chocolate, never really have. Most of it gives me toothaches.
5) I have a slight obsession with Dr Pepper. Okay, I'll own it, it's more like an addiction.
6) I have acquired a cat since moving to Magrath. It was sort of a family cat before that occasionally showed up here, but now (especially since it's snowy and cold) he's over here hanging out more often than not. His name is Webster and I love him.
7) I am severely terrified of mice. Like, whenever we've had mice in the past (thanks, town homes) I left home until it was 'safe' to come back. This might be one of the reasons I love having Webbie around so much.
8) I joined The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints when I was 19. I am deeply grateful for the perspective that being an adult convert gives me.

9) I am currently growing my hair out. It has been short for years, but it's too hard to maintain it as short as I like it and the wind down here demands the option of a ponytail.
10) I love sour or salty snacks. Miss Vickie's Sea Salt and Malt Vinegar chips are probably one of my favourite snacking foods of all time.
11) I reached a huge milestone this year. I have accepted and embraced my current weight and size. It has lifted a huge weight off of my shoulders and I wish I'd done it years ago. Nevertheless, I'm grateful to be at this point now.
12) I currently hold a position on my boys' school council.
13) This summer I went to my first concert ever with a good friend.

14) I have an incredibly diverse taste in music. My playlists include everything from classical to alternative, country to punk, gospel to metal, and several other genres.
15) I love baking, I just am not a fan of doing the dishes afterward.
16) I have made homemade perogies, pickled beets, nylysnyky, cabbage rolls, sausage and sauerkraut. I love my Ukrainian ancestry.
17) I find quads boring because I grew up driving a trike and I miss being able to steer that easily.
18) I have driven a combine and harvested canola before.
19) I have always be a pretty good shot with firearms. My uncle was so sad the day I declared I wouldn't hunt when I turned 12.

20) I am incredibly allergic to canola pollen. I have to take Benedryl every night and alternate between daytime allergy meds during the days to be able to function when it's in bloom.
21) I was a cheerleader in grade 12.
22) I don't eat anything that lived in water. Fish, shellfish, seaweed, any of it.
23) I am very sensitive to the smell of pineapple, particularly if it has been canned.
24) I started reading at the age of 4 and have loved reading ever since.
25) My favourite book, contrary to what most people think, is not a Harry Potter book. It's To Kill a Mockingbird.
26) My favourite movie is Lord of the Rings: Return of the King, Extended Edition.
27) I am not good at auditory learning. If I don't see it happen or read the words, I have a hard time retaining what was said to me. It cracks me up that I love music so much and am so good at understand the lyrics, because it totally goes against how this usually works for me.
28) My favourite food is bacon. I LOVE bacon!

29) I have 2 people from mine and John's first primary class that I still keep in touch with. They have become dear friends and like family to me. They are now 18 and have become amazing young adults.
30) I intentionally don't put my kids in activities outside of church ones because I hate the idea of being an over-scheduled family. Our lazy evenings and weekends are precious to me.
31) I love reading books that help me learn more about the gospel. This year I've really been enjoying the books written by James L. Ferrell.
32) I had a Cabbage Patch Doll while I was growing up. Her name was Winifred and I called her Winner. I saw a Cabbage Patch Doll identical to her on a TV show this past week and it made me super excited. I think John wasn't sure what to do with me.
33) I love playing Dungeons and Dragons. We had an amazing group we played with in Edmonton. We still play together online, but I sure miss gaming together in person and having yummy treats along with it.

October 2017

The first few days of October our region had a massive snow storm. The boys even got to experience their first official snow day. Snow seems to make many people in my life sad, angry and other negative emotions. I'm generally indifferent to it. It looks super pretty sometimes, but mostly it's just part of living in Alberta and that's how I see it. This time, the snow felt like home. I live in the desert of Alberta now. It's hot, it's dry and it's crazy windy in this Chinook region. Snow gave me a sense of familiarity.


John and the boys stayed home on our snow day. I baked super amazing massive chewy chocolate chip cookies as well as some diabetic friendly peanut butter cookies for John. I also baked a Saskatoon Berry Pie that week. That's my favourite kind of pie in the whole world, but it was the first time I've ever made one. I also had my birthday that week, which I mentioned in my previous post. The highlight of that day was a surprise visit from my brother. Love that guy!

John and I actually were able to find Rod's grove. It's a bench surrounded by trees and flowers that was made by John's dad's friends after he passed away. I kept asking family here where it was and they'd always say something like "oh, it's by so-and-so's house". Um... I don't know where people live here. But anyway, we finally found it and we love it!

We had our municipal election. Holy doodle, I've never heard people in Canada get that nasty about an election in Canada ever before. It was not fun and I was glad when it was over. There was some humour though when someone grabbed some of the election signs from a neighbouring town (that we apparently have a bit of a rivalry with) and put them up here in town.

We had a heartwarming experience in the pharmacy mid-month. John and I were in the pharmacy to get my prescription for my meds filled. The store was having some system issues with their debit machine while they were ringing through the lady ahead of us. The cashier let us know what the total was for my pills in case we had the cash to cover it. We both realized we had no cash and kind of figured John would have to go to the bank to take out money for it. Then, the kind lady in front of us put down the cash on the counter to cover the cost of my meds and told the cashier she was paying for them. Neither of us knew her, but she was willing to pay for my meds for me, no questions asked. It was a bright ray of light in what has been a very dark time for me. 

John and I have been going on Saturday date in to Lethbridge in conjunction with our weekly grocery shopping. 2 weekends ago I got some jeans that fit (I had none) and then we went for brunch at Firestone. I had half of a club sandwich and cheddar broccoli soup. So delicious! We LOVE Firestone. It was my belated birthday meal since I wasn't doing well around my actual birthday.

The boys did their annual Primary Presentation. It was Caleb's last one. They all did great. Brettley even complimented Ty loudly after he said his part. It made us chuckle. 

Ty turned 9 and I did a post saying 9 things about him on Facebook. Here they are:

1) He is, hands down, the winner for recipient of 'most lines I never thought I'd have to use as a parent'.

2) His favourite colour is blue.

3) He loves Disney Princess movies. 

4) He is doing choir in school this year. He also likes to serenade the shower-head regularly.

5) He is my only boy who has hazel eyes or who is a south paw. Both are traits he shares with his dad.

6) Ty loves math, it is by far his favourite school subject.

7) He loves to talk randomly about cotton candy and/or pigs. He also randomly likes to rotate.

8) Well, really, he's just incredibly random in general.

9) Ty is an extremely happy person. I'm sure Heavenly Father gave him to me as my own personal ray of sunshine.

I had quite a few comments from people after my last blog post. It made me grateful that I chose to break my public silence about my struggles. Things seem a lot more positive having that added support. THANKS, GUYS!

Today we're enjoying Halloween, so here is our annual picture. Caleb is a military pilot, Ty is Harry Potter and Brettley is Boba Fett.

Blog Post #500

I just finished frosting and piping Ty's birthday cake. He turned 9 today. As I was squeezing blue icing out of a tube to make a lightning bolt and write a message on his cake, the irony of the situation was definitely not lost on me. In fact, it was screaming loudly, demanding to be heard. The last time I did any piping on a cake was for Ty's first birthday. I won't cherry coat this post, so this is your warning to turn back if you don't want the details.

My "on this day" on Facebook has been so kind the past few months to remind me that this time 8 years ago I had entered the worst depression cycle of my bipolar disorder that I'd ever experienced. John's parents came up for Ty's first birthday. Not because we'd asked them to come celebrate with us, but because they came to pick up our 2 boys to go stay with them for a couple of weeks. Not because we wanted the boys to have a super fun time with Grandma and Grandpa, but because I was non functioning. I couldn't even take care of myself, let alone 2 very young boys. Over the next half a year after that, my boys would spend many weeks down here with their grandparents as we tried desperately to figure out the best way to help get me okay again.

Here is the irony that I was mentioning I felt. I am currently struggling with the worst depressive episode I've had in the last 8 years. After our move down here I could feel myself sinking, but at first I thought it was because John was still working up in Edmonton and that once he was down here things would level out a bit again. Well, he got here over 2 months ago. Things kept getting steadily worse instead of better, especially once the boys started school. I went from having a clearly defined purpose last year as a full time mother and teacher to having nothing and no one to keep me occupied during the day for five days a week. I don't know who I am anymore. I've wondered a lot why we are counselled very heavily to be at home when our kids our young if possible, but no counsel is given about what to do once they're all in school full time. I feel so lost. I am still without a calling (other than being a visiting teacher).

By the time Caleb's birthday rolled around last month, I had severe, debilitating anxiety attacks daily. I absolutely had no desire to read anymore, which if you know me you would know is a clear sign that something was very wrong. I no longer had a desire to live. My mind began formulating plans about how and when would be the best way to commit suicide. I was able ignore it when it was just the 'when'. However, as soon as the 'how' came, I told John how bad things had gotten.

A few days after I told John I was already in an appointment with our new family doctor telling him how bad things were with me. Bless that man's heart, I definitely chose a wonderful doctor for our family. He started me back on meds. He arranged an appointment for me with a short term counselor. He asked me to come back in a week. I had my niece with me during the days that week, and we asked my dad come and stay with me for the following week. I knew I was a danger to myself, and we took steps to ensure I was safe.

That next week, while my dad was here, I had to up my dosage from the starting dose to the next dosage as ordered by my doctor. That was the night before my birthday. Now, if you've ever taken Seroquel or are close to someone who has, you know that adjusting to Seroquel makes you exhausted beyond reason. The brain fog is awful and all you want to do all of the time is fall asleep right where you are. You basically look stoned and really aren't coherent. That's how I spent my birthday as I first met with the short term counselor and then with my family doctor.

The meeting with the counselor went well, but she felt I would be better off with someone who does long term counselling, so she asked if I was okay with that. I knew that was what I needed, so I agreed and we got that going. She had me start to fill out my safety plan to help keep me safe. Then I met with my doctor, who decided that we were going to cover all of our bases and he referred me to a psychiatrist as well.

I was able to meet with my new counselor the following week. I felt very quickly that she would be a very good fit for me. I find it incredibly easy to talk to her, and we share several common interests. We meet again next Tuesday. Since then I've met with my doctor again and I got an appointment set with the psychiatrist for Nov 28. I'm also on the cancellation list for that, so it could be sooner.

It baffles me how quickly things move down here. Within a month of me telling John how bad I'd gotten, I've had 3 doctor appointments, 2 counseling appointments and have a psychiatrist appointment booked for just over a month from now. I'm not used to things moving this quickly, but I sure appreciate it.

This past Sunday I forced myself to go to church because it was our ward's Primary Presentation. More particularly, it was Caleb's last Primary Presentation. Church is painfully hard for me when I'm struggling with anxiety. Sitting still in a room full of people is about the most torturous thing for my anxiety. I was blessed to make it through Sacrament Meeting without any major issues. They sure hit during Sunday School, though. During my second panic attack, our bishop happened upon us. He invited John and I in to his office, where John gave him an extremely brief overview about what's been going on. Bishop asked me if I would like a blessing, which I did. It was so helpful. Our bishop also asked me to work up to walking for an hour outside every single day. I felt well enough after the blessing to try to go to Relief Society. I walked in and sat off to the side by myself. John's aunt immediately motioned for me to move my chair next to her. She then put her arm around me for about half of the lesson. She didn't know the details about what was wrong. She just knew I needed comfort and she gave it, no questions asked. I thanked Heavenly Father right then and there for her.

John and I went for a walk yesterday after our family dinner, and I went for another this morning. Despite the windy walks making me very tired, I did feel better during both of them. I did feel calm and peace while I was walking.

Now, I'm not all better right now. In fact, I'm painfully aware that it will be a long road before I level out again. And that's a good thing, because it means it'll be less likely to act like a yo-yo and just keep swinging from hypomanic to depression. In fact, on the whole, things still feel horribly sucky a lot of the time right now. But I'm still here. I'm still fighting. And THAT is a win.

I've known for this past month that I wanted to write about this part of my personal journey with mental illness and mental health for my post #500. I want to make a difference. I want to be an inspiration to others who feel like the fight isn't worth it. Because it doesn't always feel like it. When you struggle with feeling severely depressed and suicidal, you have many times where it feels impossible to want to keep going. I want to be that proof that those days don't last forever, and that there's a way to get past them without devastating your family and/or friends. In my safety plan I had to list my reasons for living. In addition to my family, one of the things I wrote was that I can't help others if I give in to this. So I will stay and I will continue this fight, even in the many moments right now that it doesn't feel worth it. Because once I get through it, having fought through it will mean everything.

September 2017

 I decided to do September's post today since I have the time. This weekend is General Conference so I'll be busy with that and don't want to end up forgetting. The boys started their school year at the local elementary school. They love it so far and are blessed to all have wonderful teachers.

We opted to have Brettley repeat grade 1 to give him a chance to learn to understand school structure with the other kids.

I started taking 2 classes on Coursera to give me something to do during the day now that my kids are all in school full time. I'm taking Introduction to Psychology and Social Context of Mental Health and Illness. I would love to get my BA in Psychology some day.

The Kenow Wildfire hit close to here in Waterton and area. We found out that as long as we have a 72 Hour Kit and everyone knows their job if we had to 'bug out' none of us really stressed about the possibility.

Webster, the cat that sort of lives with us, has started spending some nights in the house. The boys love having him here and so do I.

We had parent teacher interviews last week and I was complimented on how well I taught Brettley to read last year. It was so nice to hear. We also are getting Ty started on speech therapy because he still can't pronounce his Rs. His first appointment is this Friday.

I did 2 shifts at the book fair last week at the school and volunteered for future ones. I also signed up to be the room rep for Brettley and Caleb's classes. I think I'm trying to compensate for my lack of a calling. I also joined School Council and was given the position of Division 2 rep (it normally would be a vote but Amy nominated me and I got it by acclamation).

Caleb's birthday was on Monday. He turned 11! My boy is growing up so fast. I posted the following on Facebook that day:

11 Facts About Caleb to Celebrate his 11th Birthday:

1) His favourite colour is green.
2) He wants to become an astrophysicist.
3) He had his tonsils and adenoids removed less than a month after he turned 5. His adenoids were 3 times as large as they should have been.
4) He is red-green colour deficient. Red looks green to him.
5) He earned so many Cubs badges that we had to start a fourth row on his sleeve. He loved the old program.
6) He has started to learn how to play the alto saxophone, taking after both his mum and dad.
7) He isn't a fan of cake frosting, so for his cake this year we're putting real whipped cream on top and sprinkling it with coconut.
8 ) He loves all things Harry Potter and is almost done reading the series.
9) He is a natural giver and serves people without being asked.
10) He is one of the most compassionate people I've ever met in my life.
11) He has blessed my life in more ways than I could count. I am beyond grateful to be his mum.

Without going in to details, I have been struggling a lot lately and could really use any extra prayers that people are willing to send my way. Thanks!

August 2017 Pt 2

John came home to stay on Friday 18 August. He got in super late, but it was such a happy moment for us. The next day we cleaned at the church and got a new (to us) barbecue. We haven't had one for a few years, so we are very excited to have one again. Then John and I went on a date to Firestone (yum, my favourite) to celebrate him finally being home with us.

I got to help can my 20 pints of kernel corn from our garden. It's fun learning these new skills that are so useful.

John's mom was home briefly on the 25th before they took off to bring her to her mission field. John was able to give her a blessing before she left. The kids miss her a lot. We send her an email every week to update her on how we are.

On Sunday I saw that they announced that they are rolling "Come, Follow Me" in to the Priesthood and Relief Society lessons next year. I am super excited about this. I loved this when I taught the youth and think it will be an amazing thing for these adult classes.

We've spent most of the last week under a heat warning here and several days with air quality issues from the smoke as well. I'm really looking forward to after Thanksgiving.

Yesterday we went the the school and the boys got to take a tour of it. They each saw their new classrooms and met their new teachers. Brettley is very excited that his classroom has fish in it. Ty has opted to go by Tyrell this year since there will be another Ty in his class. Caleb has 2 teacher, but only was able to meet 1 of them yesterday. They also got to spend a couple of minutes playing in the school's new indoor playground. We brought their school supplies home and got them all labeled and ready to go for Tuesday. I also sorted and labeled all of the school supplies for my sister-in-law's kids yesterday. I do love me some school supplies. However, I'm really going to miss having my kids at home. I was so spoiled last year in getting to do things on our own schedule and having them to keep me company as we learned things together.

Fun note, just as I finished writing the previous paragraph, our heat warning was finally lifted. Why? Because it's ONLY going to get up to 28C today, ha ha. I'm so grateful that my bedroom is in the basement.

August 2017 Pt 1

We got a tiny bit of rain the first night in August. We'd been praying and praying for rain, so it was very welcome.

The older boys finished up their swimming lessons. Caleb passed level 4 and Ty passed level 2. Brettley wasn't able to do more than 2 classes since his croup was so bad. Caleb has asked to do 2 levels of swimming next year, which I'm totally fine with.

I finished up the last bit of school supply shopping I had to do for the kids. We also bought 2 huge Moses Lake watermelons, which were delicious.

John's mom left for her 10 days in the MTC before she heads to her mission at the end of this week. I got to be her companion for her last evening here after she was set apart.

We started harvesting the garden. I ended up with 16 pints of green beans. I snapped them all and my brother-in-law canned them for me. We are starting on the corn tomorrow.

My niece and I took the boys to the corn maze last week. We had fun and got to see and pet some animals. Ty especially loved the pigs. Brettley really loved the very tall slide that they had there.

We got the best news ever last week. John was approved to work remotely for his company from the Lethbridge office. He got here late on Friday night. It was a very happy day in our house. We are so happy to have him here with us and to be a complete family again. I have learned to not take the little things for granted. The things I ended up missing the most were getting to grocery shop together, getting to have a hug in the evening after a tough day and having John joke around and tease us. We feel very blessed to all be together again.

July 2017

On Canada Day we headed back up north. The boys went to stay with my mum and step-dad for the week and I went to E-town for a visit. That next Tuesday I went to see the Queen + Adam Lambert concert with my friend. It was an amazing experience and I'm so glad that I went. I also got through the entire evening without a single anxiety issue, which completely amazed me. I spent the next few days after that visiting with my best friend and her family, before we all headed back home.

My niece has been staying with me for the summer to help out with the kids, which has been the hugest blessing. John is still working up in Edmonton for now, which has been very difficult.

I switched my cell number to a local one so that the kids can call me from the house phone if they need to. We spent a lot of time in the irrigation sprinklers before they asked us to start restricting our use. It's been extremely hot and we've only had a dribble of rain 1 night in the past month.

Caleb started seeing a doctor here and we are going to start dealing with the anxiety itself, which will be a huge help to him. He's also being referred to a child psychiatrist, which will be good. I got the go ahead to get my Pertussis shot, which was a huge relief. I ended up with 2 needles that day, since apparently my MMR wasn't up to date.

Ty and I slept out on the deck one evening. Well, I made it until 3:30. He made it the whole night.

John came home for a week and we got to be with him for town celebrations and his birthday. The kids loved the parade, but they loved the fireworks the most. I managed to sprain my ankle after church, so I was barely moving for several days. I felt so bad for being injured during John's week here. However, on the Wednesday we finally were able to go in to Lethbridge to visit a few stores together and have supper at Firestone (yum!). Brettley ended up with croup and is just now getting over it.

The other two boys were doing swimming lessons last week and this week. Tomorrow is their last day.

John took the bus back to Edmonton so that my niece and I have the van to use for this month. And that pretty much sums up July.

June Part 2: We've Officially Moved

I decided to get this done today since I have gardening and cleaning to do tomorrow and John will be here on Friday.

We got here on the evening of Fri 16 June. The next day a few men from the ward came to help us unload the moving van. I was meant to be helping direct where things were going, but Ty injured his knee pretty badly right as people showed up so I was busy calming him down and trying my best to clean his knee up for most of that time. We've been through a few minor injuries down here already, ha ha.

On Sunday we met with our new bishop, which was probably the most relaxed meeting I have ever had with a bishop/branch president. It was really good. He sounded so excited to have a new "young" family in the ward and was so happy when I said I was ready to accept a calling as soon as one came for me. The very next day I was asked if I would be willing to substitute in Primary for the summer until I have an official calling. I felt needed right away and it was a great feeling.

We got the address on our licenses changed, got Caleb's prescription from the pharmacy, got our Shaw hooked up, I met with the principal, registered the boys with the school for the fall and bought a family pool pass for the summer.

John went back to Edmonton and did the final walk through to hand back our townhouse. We officially have no home up there anymore. He bought me a bike last weekend. I'm excited to get it tomorrow!

I have loved being able to send Caleb to the store if I need something and he's really enjoyed picking the mail up for me from the post office each day. I got to substitute teach the Valiant 11 class this past weekend. There are 4 girls in the class, so it was very similar to teaching Beehives. They were a lot of fun.

The boys all camped out in a tent on Sunday night and on Monday it was just Caleb and his cousin, which they really enjoyed. We've started helping in the garden. We spend about an hour out there each morning. I have so many more opportunities to be active down here, which it great. The only downside has been that mine and Caleb's allergies have been way worse down here. Hopefully we'll eventually adapt.

This afternoon I got a surprise visit from one of my nieces. It was a great afternoon and we got some yummy ice cream Slurpee's together. She is going to help watch my kids for most of the summer, so it will be great to have her here so much.

Caleb went to the pool by himself this afternoon and made a friend while he was there. It was such a HUGE step for my boy who struggles so much with anxiety. It was definitely testament to how beneficial this move has been for him. He is thriving! We all are!

June Part 1 - While Still in Edmonton

I could probably sum up this time period in only three words: I was stressed. Almost all of the packing was done by just Caleb and I. I was arranging things and cleaning and still worried about what felt like a thousand different things. It was the longest I'd ever lived in one town/city and the longest I'd ever lived in one home (and it was still only for 6 years in that home). I was gifted a couple of tubs of Cookie Dough Dynamo ice cream by John and my friend, Jenae. It helped a lot when things got too hectic. We also took a few breaks to the park in that last week when I needed a break from the house for a while.

We were officially released from our callings on the ward level and John's final act as ward membership clerk was to move our records to our new ward in Magrath. I got to a point in the last week where I just wanted to set fire to our home and all of the belongings in it, but I stuck it out and we got it done.

We ended up getting to move a day earlier than planned thanks to many people who came to help us load the moving truck and to clean the old place. John and Caleb drove down in the moving truck and my dad drove Brettley, Ty and I in our van. It was the fastest that drive has ever felt, even though it took the same amount of time it always does. We are so grateful for all of the help given to us our last few weeks there.

May Part 2

Our beloved hamster, Rogue went to her new home this month. It was toughest on me, I cried when she left. I know that this was better for her than trying to trek her across the province, though.

We went down to Magrath for the long weekend to get some things organized there and got our own post office box there. Apparently May was a crying month for me because I did cry tears of joy when we walked out of the post office. Don't judge me :)

When we got back home my dad had taught Brettley how to ride his 2-wheeler bike. Little man is sure growing up.

I finally got to do Relay for Life. I managed to walk 5 miles that day before I got ordered by my family to stop walking. I had hurt both of my legs (and both feet, even though I didn't know it at the time). I was finally able to start walking relatively normally yesterday. It was 100% worth it, though, and I've already researched what I need to do to prevent it from happening again if I choose to participate next year as well.

I did my 3 weeks with teal hair and got it coloured again last night. I'd love to tell you what colour it is now, but I'm not entirely sure, ha ha. Depending on the light it can look black, brown, red, purple or even a super dark blue. At any rate, it looks more toned down than the teal :) I had an amazing hair dresser, stylist (?) who I got to see a lot of over the past couple of weeks. We ended up with 3 appointments in 22 days. She was wonderful!

It's June, people. This is it, we're in the home stretch!

May Part 1

I feel like I've been giving a way most of what we own. It's not really true, there's just a lot of big stuff we're getting rid of so that we don't have to store it for the next few years. The one sad part is that Rogue is one of the things we've had to find a new home for. She goes there on Wednesday. We'll sure miss her!

We got Moana and the boys love it! I also finally fixed Caleb's bike tires and bought him a new helmet, so he's a happy guy.

After raising a lot of money for the Canadian Cancer Society through a fun fundraising idea, I held up my end of the bargain and currently am rocking teal hair. Luckily, my 3 weeks with it will be up at the end of this month and I can dye it back before the move, ha ha.

Sadly, the Oilers were done in the playoffs after round 2. It's a sore topic up here in Oil Country because of 'certain people and events' involved in a couple of the games, but I'm looking forward to them having another good run next year.

We went to visit my mum for Mother's Day. I woke up in a lot of pain and it continued throughout the day. *sigh* back spasms. I did get treated to a wonderful breakfast of bacon, hashbrowns and eggs, though. The boys gave me a few fun and cute items. I also decided that next year I'll end my annual boycott of Mother's Day and actually go to church that Sunday. (side note - Mother's Day is always my hard day of the year as a birth mother)

John and I went to IKEA for a supper date this evening. Today is 12 years since we first met at church. I still feel like the luckiest person in the world for getting to be his wife!

April

We started April off with General Conference. We spent that Saturday with our friends watching it at their house, which was a great time.

That week we met with the boys' school facilitator in a meeting that went very well. Ty is reading at a grade 4 level (he just finished grade 3) and Brettley's reading for just finishing grade 1 was extremely good. I am so thrilled with what they accomplished this year. It may very well be the best year I'll ever have with them. We grew so much closer as a family. No regrets!

We had a nasty bout of croup and colds go through our house. We mostly avoided illnesses this year since they were home schooled, but this one snuck through and did a number on those poor boys, and then on me.

We had a major shakeup here in the Edmonton LDS area. A fifth stake was created. Our ward was moved from one stake to another. The man who was our bishop when we first moved to this ward is now our new Stake President. He is definitely a man willing to let Heavenly Father work through him, I felt instantly that it was an inspired calling.

Our hockey team, the Oilers, made it to the playoffs for the first time since I was pregnant with Caleb. Game nights have become a big thing in our house as of late.

We went to spend some time at my sister-in-law's while her kids were on Easter Break. It was the best time ever! The kids had so much freedom there, my anxiety was better than it has been in many, many years and we all had a blast. As a fun story, I decided to drive part of the way there. That was the first time I'd driven in years. I felt pretty good, but the sun set just before we were passing through Fort McLeod and the town was experiencing a black out. It was so nerve wracking and, of course, the one pedestrian I managed to encounter was wearing all black. I made it about 5 minutes past the town before I had to pull over and let John drive again. Driving through the black out shook me up just a bit too much, but heck. I did it! I drove again!

I also managed to get hooked on herbal iced tea. Yum!

And for our last bit of news for April, we announced that we are FINALLY making the move to Southern Alberta. Most people who know us have known that this has been our eventual plan ever since we were still engaged. We knew back in February that it was supposed to happen and after countless prayers, many people fasting and a few visits to the temple, we felt strongly prompted to make a move of faith. John's permanent address will be down there with us, but he will stay with my dad and still work up in Edmonton until the job issue works itself out. This is the scariest thing we've ever done (and probably will ever do). Our moving day is June 17th and we are extremely excited, nervous, scared and many other things. But we know this is the right plan for our family and are looking forward to our new adventure. The boys will be attending the local school there in the fall, which we are all excited about. But we really want John to be with us down there as quickly as possible, so please, please, please keep us in your prayers.

And that's our April :)

March

We did some major decluttering in our house this month. No room was ignored. We got rid of so much stuff. It was astonishing how many things we've accumulated over the years. We still have a lot, but the amount was reduced significantly.

I read some James L. Ferrell books. They were amazing. I borrowed them from a friend and definitely plan to get my own copies at some point. I learned so much from them and would highly recommend them.

My Relay for Life team reached its goal this month, which was really exciting. I reached over double of my initial personal goal. I'm really looking forward to taking part in this in May.

John and I took the boys to the Telus World of Science for a day. They had a blast. We checked out the Angry Birds exhibit. Ty and Brettley had fun in Discoveryland and Caleb enjoyed the Robotics Lab. It was a fun family day.

I'm pretty sure that was where Brettley picked up his croup from. All 3 boys ended up with it, but Brettley's came first and was the worst by far. He had to miss several swimming lessons because of it.

We took the boys to go see the temple. We love being there and feeling the spirit just walking on the grounds. That was where I'd told John that I knew I was supposed to marry him. The boys really enjoyed hearing that story during our trip.

I started watching hockey, which has prompted a lot of texting between my step-dad and I. A few days ago our team, the Edmonton Oilers, clinched a spot in the playoffs. This will be their first time in the playoffs since I was pregnant with Caleb, when we went for the Stanley Cup, so we're super excited.

The boys finished school this month! They worked so hard and finished their curriculum early last week. They still have some things we plan on having them work on over the summer, a bit of extra work to strengthen their weaker areas, but they are technically done their 2016-2017 school year and finished before Edmonton Public kids even went of spring break. I also put their portfolios for the year together and they are ready for the facilitator visit next week.

 Yesterday was my late father-in-law's birthday. We had our annual tradition of having some sort of cake to celebrate. This year was cheesecake.

The boys also finished their swimming lessons yesterday. Caleb was the only one who passed, so he'll move up to Swim Kids 4. Ty just has to work on his distance. Brettley, well, we knew going in that he would take a few different rounds of lessons to pass. Swimming coordination is not his forte. They had so much fun, though, which is great!

Well, that's about it for this month, I think.

February Pt 2

The boys and I spent my dad's birthday with him. We did a bit of school first, they played outside and a few games of chess were played. My dad thanked us a few times for spending the day with him. I'm so glad we were able to make that happen (gotta love home school).

I registered to do Relay for Life in May in my home town. I'll be walking in memory of my late father-in-law, who passed away 5 years ago (this month) from pancreatic cancer. I will also be walking in celebration of my mother who is a thyroid cancer survivor. One my my fundraisers is people buying votes to see what colour I have to do my hair in. The amount I raised for that determines how long I have to keep the colour for. The colour currently in the lead is teal.

Brettley had his post-op appointment and gets to stay glasses free for the next 3 months. We'll see from there what he needs.

We went down to southern AB to visit John's family and be there for our nephew's mission report in church. He just spent 2 years serving in the Arizona Mesa Mission. We loved being down there with his family. I didn't have a single anxiety attack while we were down there, it was the most refreshing feeling. We came back with an extra body. My niece stayed up here with us for a week. I was so happy having her here. She's great! We introduced her to Dungeons & Dragons and bought her first set of gaming dice for her, ha ha.

Caleb and I have started decluttering our house big time. We're about half way done. We have several bags and boxes of things to give away or sell and have thrown out about two dozen bags of garbage. It amazes me how much junk we've accumulated over the past (almost 6) years in this particular home. I'm looking forward to having less things to worry about cleaning :)

Well, that's about all that I have to talk about right now. Hope your March is going well so far!

February Part 1

A while back Caleb and Brettley moved Ty in with them, so we had a room that wasn't doing anything. The boys and I talked together and decided we wanted a designated school room. So thanks to John and a few friends, we took out the bed that was in there and moved the desks, bookcase and organizers to our new school room. I like having it a lot more than I liked being in the living room or in the dining room.

My friend decided that she wasn't letting me miss out on a concert I was so disappointed to miss last time, so we got our tickets to Queen + Adam Lambert for July. I am very excited to go with her.

I had a few setbacks with my mental health, but I also had a few victories as well, which is awesome. I braved Costco and was able to get through all 3 hours of church the other weekend. Those are major wins after how tough things have been.

This past week John and I went on a double date with our friends to (finally) see Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. I loved it. They did an amazing job and it was so refreshing to go in to that movie with no expectations from reading the book first.

The boys and I have also been rewatching the Harry Potter movies since Caleb and Tyrell and both reading the books for free reading during school.

Brettley turned 6 years old on Saturday. The day before he went on his special outting with Grandma and Grandpa to West Edmonton Mall. They went mini golfing, had lunch, went to the Disney store and a few other things. For his birthday he got night vision goggles, beginner Snap Circuits, Classic Lego, money, a lego tank kit, and a Batman shirt.

Brettley has grown so much since he was born 7 weeks early. It's hard to remember now that I was terrified of him when he was first born. He was so tiny and I was so scared I'd somehow manage to break him. Mind you, all of the wires he had that I needed to navigate didn't help much. He is now the sweetest little guy with such a kind heart. He loves the colour red, pizza, PAW Patrol, Frozen and trains. He has taken to reading like a fish to water. I am so impressed with how easily he learns new things. I sure love him. He was the best surprise I've ever had.

January 2017

I started my month with an allergic reaction. I jokingly attributed it to the carbon tax because the timing was just too good. Our best guess is that I actually have a slight allergy to cats. Who knew?

Caleb spent several days at my mum and step-dad's house. He got to go sledding a few times and caught a brook trout while ice fishing. He also learned to sew and helped to make himself a blanket that folds up into a pillow. He was so proud of himself.

We switched over from Telus to Shaw after a long time of being frustrated with the service we were getting from Telus. We're pretty happy with the switch.

Ty has started wanting to help cook suppers. He actually does a great job and I love his enthusiasm. He made Egg Roll Bowl almost entirely by himself and it was delicious.

The boys each got some penpals this month. Most of the penpals are other kids who do home school, but we have a couple of Utah penpals now too. We love that family in Utah!

True to my goal, I've been playing some games with the kids. Ty beat me in Lord of the Rings Monopoly. I was very shocked, I don't lose at that game very often. All of our practice is helping Caleb become better at handling disappointment, which is wonderful.

Brettley had his third strabismus surgery on the 23rd. He had a great attitude at the hospital right until he was given anesthetic. He woke up very miserable, though. After a while he had a "magic" Popsicle, which helped turned things around a bit. He is healing slowly but surely and hopefully his eye won't be red soon enough.

We received an amazing gift from my sister and her boyfriend. The bought our family a year's membership to the Telus World of Science. We couldn't go yesterday or this next Saturday, so we're going to go on Brettley's birthday the weekend after. Our plan is to go once per month. I feel so blessed and cried when we got that gift.

I was very active online for #BellLetsTalk day this year. I ripped open a lot of wounds to be very honest and raise awareness and help pave the way for others to be willing to talk about their mental health. It wasn't an easy day with dredging it all up, but I had many people tell me that it meant a lot to them, and that made it 100% worth it.

Caleb finished his grade 5 science work and asked for a grade 6 workbook, so we're waiting for that to come in the mail. Brettley finished up his social studies, science and math, so we're focusing solely on language arts now with him for core subjects. Ty finished his language arts, which he was thrilled about. He'll finish up science this week. It's amazing how fast they finish things when they don't have all of that busy work. It will give us more time to focus on strengthening the areas where they struggle.

That's basically been our month. I figure if I do this at least once a month then I will have the basics on here even if I don't get much else.

Q&A about 2016

C did this on her blog and I really liked it, so I'm stealing it :)

1) What did you do in 2016 that you'd never done before?
I started home schooling my kids, I taught one of my kids how to read, I buzzed all of my hair off (twice, actually) and I made an impromptu trip with just John.

2) Did you keep your new year's resolutions and will you make more for next year?
I didn't keep mine, I'm horrible for that. This year, I have a goal to play more games with my kids and to work toward being healthier (exercise and food).

3) Did anyone close to you give birth?
Not super close, no.

4) Did anyone close to you die?
No, I've had a few years off from that, thankfully.

5) What countries did you visit?
None, we stayed here in Canada. We didn't even leave our province, ha ha.

6) What would you like to have in 2017 that you lacked in 2016?
A healthier lifestyle.

7) What dates from 2016 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
October 25th. That was the day I woke up with pink eye, found out the government had cancelled the accreditation for the boys' home education administration and also found out that John was being moved to 4 day work weeks the next month.
Also, Ty's baptism on November 12th.

8) What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Home educating my kids and prioritizing my health above my wants and commitments.

9) What was your biggest failure?
I don't know that I'd call anything a failure, they were all learning experiences.

10) Did you or someone close suffer illness or injury?
John was diagnosed with diabetes and I had a really tough year mental health-wise.

11) What was the best thing you bought?
My Star Wars laptop. It was the only laptop I could find that had all of the (3) things I wanted out of a laptop. It's been a huge help with home schooling.

12) Where did most of your money go?
Rent and groceries, same as always. Recreation money, most of it went toward stuff for Dungeons and Dragons, which John and I play with our groups about twice per month.

13) What song will always remind you of 2016?
It actually wasn't a stand out year for me with music, so I don't have one.

14) Compared the this time last year are you more happy or more sad?
So much more happy. This time last year was when everything hit a boiling point with Caleb, so I was pretty much a wreck and terrified that we wouldn't find a better solution for him. A year later and he's doing amazing!

15) What do you wish you'd done more of?
More time just playing with my kids and teaching them more life skills, which are a few of the things I'm trying to focus on this year. I also wish I'd blogged more, since it's basically our family journal.

16) What do you wish you'd done less of?
Less eating as a coping mechanism and less time spent on social media.

17) How did you spend Christmas?
We were at home for the morning, went to Church and then had my dad over for supper.

18) What was your favourite TV program?
I enjoyed Psych and Switched at Birth a lot in 2016.

19) What were your favourite books of the year?
2016 was probably my worst year ever for reading since I started reading at the age of 4. Nothing at all is standing out to me.

20) What were your favourite treats/food in 2016?
Miss Vickie's Sea Salt and Malt Vinegar Chips, Egg Roll Bowl and Bacon Cheeseburger Skillet

21) What were your favourite movies of the year?
Rogue One: A Star Wars Story. Hands down!

22) What did you do on your birthday and how old were you?
I turned 32. We took a break from school that day. Caleb and I binge watched Gilmore Girls together, which was exactly how I'd wanted to spend the day.

23) What one thing would have made your year measurably more satisfying?
Not struggling with severe anxiety for the majority of the year.

24) How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2016?
If it fits and it's comfy then we're good, ha ha.

25) What kept you sane?
Those chips, John, Caleb and home schooling.

26) What was a valuable life lesson you learned in 2016?
It's okay to prioritize your mental health above what you want and things that you've said you would do.
I also learned that if something is the right choice for you and/or your family, Heavenly Father will help you do things you never thought you could do. I am one of the most impatient people I've ever met and thought I'd never be able to home school my kids because of it, but Heavenly Father always gives me what I need to make it work for us.

2016 Recap

I'm pretty sure I'm only blogging for myself now, since journaling is not my strong point, ha ha. 2016 was a pretty life-changing year for us. Everything with Caleb came to a boiling point early in January. He was coming home from school more than half of the time either crying or raging. We prayed to know if home schooling was a better option for him and got the strongest revelation we've ever received during our marriage. In early February, he started home schooling. I had to quit doing lunch supervision at the school a month later to help make his days easier, it was 100% worth it. When Caleb met with a psychiatrist later in the year, the psychiatrist told us that switching him to home schooling was probably the best thing we could have done for him. I felt pretty good when I heard that.

Brettley turned 5 and lost his first 2 teeth that day. He lost another a few days before Christmas and has another wiggly one at the moment.

I spent a large portion of the year with a buzz cut. What started as a way of getting really fried hair dealt with ended up being a really big convenience. I'm slowly starting to grow it out a bit now. We also found out that I don't have sleep apnea, after having to do a sleep test.

Caleb ended up with full time glasses. He's still learning to wear them full time but I understand the struggle, I'm still adjusting to wearing mine full time as well.

I did something totally out of character for me. John and I made an impromptu overnight visit to the Calgary area in March. We got to go to a wonderful gaming store, have a delicious dinner and then spend the evening with some family/friends. I'm a planner and don't do well with spontaneity at all, so this was kind of a big deal.

The kids had a lot of dental work done. Ty managed his first filling fine, but then got too stressed out about the extractions, so the extractions and crowns ended up being done under anesthesia. I sincerely pray that we never have to see him like that again. Caleb managed to tough out all of his fillings and his crown with our regular dentist. He was a total rock star!

We decided in March, after more prayer, that Ty and Brettley would home school starting in the fall. We set up a great space for them in the living room, but found pretty quickly that the dining room works a lot better for us, at least while they're this young. Ty was very happy that he could start home schooling since he'd been asking for it since Kindergarten.

Grandpa D built the boys a garden box, and we grew peas, beans, lettuce, spinach and dill. It was great! We're looking forward to planting it again this year. The boys loved snacking out of it.

John taught Caleb, Tyrell and I how to play chess. One of my goals for 2017 is to play more games with the kids.

Brettley started school at home. He grasps things so easily. He is great at math and is learning to read so well. The only two struggles with him are that he hates beating a dead horse (he likes to move on as soon as he's mastered a concept) and that he's still learning to understand structure (that one will come with time). Ty's strongest subject is math. He's improving in Language Arts, but still really struggles with his spelling. Caleb does very well with Social Studies, but is working on improving his Language Arts. We will start our summer vacation early this year, so we're taking that time to focus on strengthening their weaker areas.

I made a goal to participate in the 2017 Relay for Life in Wainwright. My mum and sister are going to participate as well. I'm looking forward to doing this in memory of my amazing father-in-law.

John turned 40. We celebrated by having a gaming session with our Dungeons and Dragons group. It was the perfect way for him to spend the day.

A bit of a sad note about our 2016 is that we tried for another baby and after many months of nothing I had to call it off to focus on my mental health again. On a more positive note, though, I feel more peace about being done having kids than I've ever had before. Maybe that's what I needed to get from the experience.

I was concerned about what to do for school photos, so my mum came and took pictures of the boys. Brettley, grade 1, said he wants to become a firefighter. Tyrell, grade 3, wants to become a scientist. Caleb, grade 5, wants to be an astrophysicist.

Part of school this year was learning how to take care of a home. The boys each have 4 chores to do daily. In the fall we're looking forward to adding cooking lessons in to our school year.

I started watching a friend's son every Thursday. The boys love him, even though I have to keep reminding them that he isn't a toy.

At the end of September, John was diagnosed with diabetes. He's been losing weight again and is currently the lightest that he's been in about 19 years. I'm still learning to eat better, but I'm slowly getting there. I was off of my meds for several months (checking in regularly with my doctor), so food was sort of my way of dealing with anxiety and depression then.

Tyrell turned 8 and started Cubs, which he loves. He was baptized on November 12th and we were blessed to have the man he was named after there to give one of the talks and be one of the witnesses.

We had the whole school fiasco that I blogged about a couple of posts ago. It ended up being a positive thing for us. We really like our new home education administration and the options we have with them, but it was one of the most stressful things we've been through.

The boys did swimming lessons in the fall. Tyrell and Caleb both passed their courses, but Brettley didn't quite get there. They are starting another round of lessons at the end of February.

We were told in November that Caleb doesn't have ADHD. The most likely culprit is severe anxiety that he has a difficult time learning how to process. He's continuing to do amazing on his meds and he hardly ever has rage attacks anymore. He is leaps and bounds ahead of where he was this time last year.

We enjoyed a quiet Christmas at home, but we're really looking forward to spending the next one with my family. We haven't gone there for Christmas since Tyrell's first Christmas.

John and I celebrated our 11th wedding anniversary on New Year's Eve. I am so blessed to be married to him.

Now on to 2017 :)