I break this blogging silence to stand on my soapbox once again. Earlier this week I had a friend/family member make an innocent comment on a mutual facebook friend's status. I understood why it was being made and really didn't think much of it. However, apparently another member of the extended family we've both married into did, and was highly rude in her comments to my friend. It made me realized that I have an official opinion for ALL seemingly controversial parenting topics of our generation. And my official opinion is this:
Pray for what is right for your specific child at that particular time. Then do what you are told to do.
Too often we are quick to judge others who make parenting decisions different from our own. However, we seldom know all of the reasons those decisions are made and are certainly not in on discussions between Heavenly Father and the parent about these decisions. I, myself, have received answers that others didn't understand and judged me for because they didn't have all of the facts and didn't have the right to receive revelation for me the way I do for myself. Who are we to think that we have to right to decide what is right for someone else? Ugh, this compulsive need for superiority in this generation just disgusts me. Do your best, get your own answers, follow those answers and allow others to do the same without acting like a condescending jerk. That is all...
***
Now that I've gotten that frustration out, we are about ready for the Christmas holidays here. I am still working on my Personal Progress after a hiatus. I am VERY MUCH looking forward to welcoming in 2014. This year was very hard on me physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. I am looking forward to the feeling of starting fresh and making 2014 a very awesome year. We have plans already for Spring Break and in the summer that we're really looking forward to. Plus, 2014 will bring with it the baptism of our oldest child, who will turn 8 at the end of September and also be starting Cub Scouts. Lots of exciting things to look forward to. But before that, I'm going to take a deep breath and plug through the very busy week and a half I have ahead of me :)
The goings on of our geeky little family and the musings and soapbox moments of the lone female in the group.
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
64 Years Minus 29 Days
64 years minus 29 days. That is how long my grandparents' marriage on earth was. That number is just mind blowing to me. I will never reach that with John, unless by some miracle he lives to be 93. The moment at my grandma's funeral that made me cry the most was my grandpa leaning over to kiss the box containing my grandma's ashes. It was one of the most sweet and most heartbreaking things I've ever seen in my life. 6 weeks and a day after my grandma left my grandpa, he was reunited with her. A love that stood through decades and decades continues on. With that said, I'm off to pack for yet another funeral...
Monday, October 28, 2013
Nikki's Personal Progress 2.0
Last week I sat down and thought to myself "when was the last time I felt happy on a regular basis?". I tend to struggle to be happy this time every year. As winter starts to come upon us, I feel miserable more than any other time of the year. As I went through past October blog posts, I realized there was one year where I wasn't struggling in October. It was the year that I was working on my Personal Progress. I was so focused on growing in my testimony and relearning things about Heavenly Father that the lack of sunlight and loss of warm weather didn't really seem to affect me. So last week I decided that the time has come to start working on Personal Progress again. I got a new book from our ward's Young Woman president, who sounded really excited that I wanted to work on it again so soon after completing it (May 2012). That means it's only been about 17 months, and even less since I finished earning my Honor Bee. But I am recognizing the importance of the program and the good that I know it can do in my life.
I started working on it on Friday. I will be working on 1 value experience, 1 value project and the Virtue value project at pretty much any given time. I will focus on 1 value at a time, instead of jumping all over the place. I decided to start at the beginning with Faith. Already, I feel so much love for this program and I feel so much more peace in my heart. I am very much looking forward to learning, relearning and growing closer to my Heavenly Father.
I started working on it on Friday. I will be working on 1 value experience, 1 value project and the Virtue value project at pretty much any given time. I will focus on 1 value at a time, instead of jumping all over the place. I decided to start at the beginning with Faith. Already, I feel so much love for this program and I feel so much more peace in my heart. I am very much looking forward to learning, relearning and growing closer to my Heavenly Father.
Friday, October 18, 2013
Babysitting...
I saw this thing on facebook about what is fair to pay your teenage babysitter, and it actually got me pretty riled up. Do we really treat our babysitters like doormats who should just be grateful for whatever scraps we give them. I don't expect a lot of extras from anyone watching my kids. I don't expect them to put my kids to bed, because they don't go to bed easily. I don't expect them to make any food, if they are watching my kids during a meal then I provide them with a decent meal (we usually have ordered pizza that is delivered just before we leave). I don't expect them to clean what they came into, I just ask that my house isn't much worse off than I left it. I don't expect them to do the dishes, I just ask that they be moved to the sink.
However, I AM asking that you make sure that my child hasn't terrorized my house or beaten up their brother, which they probably try to do many times while you're there. I AM asking you to make sure that my child hasn't choked on their meal and EXPECTING you to know what to do if that happens. If my child vomits or something like that while I'm out, I'm asking you to CARE for them for the 20 minutes (minimum) it will take me to get back home (and trust me, I'm feeling your pain if you had to watch someone puke). I AM asking you to try and convince my child to clean up after themselves as they are playing, which I will be the first to admit is not an easy task. And let's face it, I take care of my kids for nothing because they are my kids and I love them. It's a whole different level for me than what I'm asking of you. I'll be the first to admit that my kids are a lot of work to take care of AT THE BEST OF TIMES! For babysitters the kids are extra wound up, and for teens who aren't responsible for that kind of exhausting exuberance on a daily basis it is A LOT to deal with. Those teens often wear themselves right out to provide this service for me.
So the conclusion I came to is this. You need to look at ALL of the factors before deciding on a price together with your babysitter that you both find fair, before they actually babysit. If you can't come to an agreement on what is fair, find another sitter. If you can't afford to pay what your babysitter deserves, try explaining the situation to them and see if they're willing to renegotiate. If you STILL can't afford a teen babysitter, try asking other family to watch your kids. Or ask a friend if they are willing to swap watching kids with you, so that there's no money exchanged, but you're both still getting something for your service. And if you can't do any of that, then you make a sacrifice as a parent and stay at home instead of going out.
John and I RARELY go out on dates because we can't afford to do a lot at this point in our lives. When we do go out, my dad watches our kids, because I recognize that I'm not a a point where I can afford to pay a babysitter what they deserve for watching my boys. So we do date nights of games or movies at home. It's a sacrifice that we willingly make to be parents to our awesome boys. We recognize that if we didn't have my dad to watch our kids, we would pretty much never go out. In becoming parents, we made the choice to put our kids ahead of lots of movie at the theater nights or dinners out together.
I'm not saying parents should never go out, I'm just saying that parents should find a way to go out and still be respectful of exactly what it is they're asking someone to do while taking care of their children. I rarely say no if I'm asked to watch a friend's kids (always free, with one exception), and if I say no there is a highly valid reason for it (like my kids or I are sick or we already have something going on that would interfere with me giving their child proper attention). I'm sure there are other people out there who would be just as willing to watch your kids for you for free a couple of times a year for a few hours if you really can't afford a teen babysitter.
And remember, as a teen, giving up your free time is a huge sacrifice, so make sure that those teens are properly blessed for the sacrifice they are making. They have a LOT more homework than we did, their educational workload is higher than our's was and they need their downtime as well.
So that's the world of babysitting wages according to Nikki...
However, I AM asking that you make sure that my child hasn't terrorized my house or beaten up their brother, which they probably try to do many times while you're there. I AM asking you to make sure that my child hasn't choked on their meal and EXPECTING you to know what to do if that happens. If my child vomits or something like that while I'm out, I'm asking you to CARE for them for the 20 minutes (minimum) it will take me to get back home (and trust me, I'm feeling your pain if you had to watch someone puke). I AM asking you to try and convince my child to clean up after themselves as they are playing, which I will be the first to admit is not an easy task. And let's face it, I take care of my kids for nothing because they are my kids and I love them. It's a whole different level for me than what I'm asking of you. I'll be the first to admit that my kids are a lot of work to take care of AT THE BEST OF TIMES! For babysitters the kids are extra wound up, and for teens who aren't responsible for that kind of exhausting exuberance on a daily basis it is A LOT to deal with. Those teens often wear themselves right out to provide this service for me.
So the conclusion I came to is this. You need to look at ALL of the factors before deciding on a price together with your babysitter that you both find fair, before they actually babysit. If you can't come to an agreement on what is fair, find another sitter. If you can't afford to pay what your babysitter deserves, try explaining the situation to them and see if they're willing to renegotiate. If you STILL can't afford a teen babysitter, try asking other family to watch your kids. Or ask a friend if they are willing to swap watching kids with you, so that there's no money exchanged, but you're both still getting something for your service. And if you can't do any of that, then you make a sacrifice as a parent and stay at home instead of going out.
John and I RARELY go out on dates because we can't afford to do a lot at this point in our lives. When we do go out, my dad watches our kids, because I recognize that I'm not a a point where I can afford to pay a babysitter what they deserve for watching my boys. So we do date nights of games or movies at home. It's a sacrifice that we willingly make to be parents to our awesome boys. We recognize that if we didn't have my dad to watch our kids, we would pretty much never go out. In becoming parents, we made the choice to put our kids ahead of lots of movie at the theater nights or dinners out together.
I'm not saying parents should never go out, I'm just saying that parents should find a way to go out and still be respectful of exactly what it is they're asking someone to do while taking care of their children. I rarely say no if I'm asked to watch a friend's kids (always free, with one exception), and if I say no there is a highly valid reason for it (like my kids or I are sick or we already have something going on that would interfere with me giving their child proper attention). I'm sure there are other people out there who would be just as willing to watch your kids for you for free a couple of times a year for a few hours if you really can't afford a teen babysitter.
And remember, as a teen, giving up your free time is a huge sacrifice, so make sure that those teens are properly blessed for the sacrifice they are making. They have a LOT more homework than we did, their educational workload is higher than our's was and they need their downtime as well.
So that's the world of babysitting wages according to Nikki...
Thursday, October 3, 2013
Autumn and Birthdays
What a long an exhausting week! Caleb enjoyed his birthday and the boys had fun staying at Grandpa's for a couple of nights. On Saturday John took me to Edmonton Expo as an early birthday present and bought me a d20 (that's a 20 sided dice) necklace. We saw some really cool leather work and chain mail work while we were there. I had a few tough moments with being in a place with so many people, but I did a lot better than I'd thought I would, considering I have crowd claustrophobia.
On Sunday I got to take Caleb and Ty to church on my own since John was sick and subbed for Caleb's class. The other 3 kids were awesome, but Caleb never behaves well when I sub in his class.
Brett and I have had head colds this week, but mine's pretty much gone now. I've also been enjoying the beautiful view of autumn weather. It doesn't last for long in E-town, but it sure is gorgeous while it's here. I love the beautiful yellow and orange leaves on the ground.
Not too much else going on here. It's my birthday this Saturday on General Conference weekend. John and I are just going to have some snacks and play some Dungeons & Dragons (I have turned into such a bigger geek than I was before). It should be a nice and (fairly) relaxing weekend. I love autumn :)
On Sunday I got to take Caleb and Ty to church on my own since John was sick and subbed for Caleb's class. The other 3 kids were awesome, but Caleb never behaves well when I sub in his class.
Brett and I have had head colds this week, but mine's pretty much gone now. I've also been enjoying the beautiful view of autumn weather. It doesn't last for long in E-town, but it sure is gorgeous while it's here. I love the beautiful yellow and orange leaves on the ground.
Not too much else going on here. It's my birthday this Saturday on General Conference weekend. John and I are just going to have some snacks and play some Dungeons & Dragons (I have turned into such a bigger geek than I was before). It should be a nice and (fairly) relaxing weekend. I love autumn :)
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
Change of Plans
I planned on doing a huge post tomorrow to celebrate Caleb's 7th birthday, but instead I'll be doing the final packing and preparing my house to head out to my grandma's funeral service.
I have taken the news about my grandma a LOT harder than I thought I would. My grandma taught me more about homemaking than anyone else in my life. When I chose to stay at home with my kids, my grandma was my biggest supporter. She understood the joys and frustrations of this better than anyone else in my family and never failed to let me know that I was making a valuable contribution even though I chose to forgo post-secondary education and out-of-home employment.
Grandma was never afraid to speak her mind about what she thought and felt, which is a trait I admire. She loved my boys so much and was always anxious to hear about what they were up to. When Brettley was born she opened her heart to John and I about a painful experience she'd been through so that we'd know that there was someone in the family who understood how terrifying it is to have a premature baby.
Over the past few years my grandma fell victim to Alzheimer's and dementia. In the spring of 2012 she was moved to a care facility when she could no longer walk. It has been a few years since I've seen her, at the request of my mum. I remember my grandma from the time when she remembered that she was my grandma. I have been missing her for a few years now, but now I miss her in a new way. I'm so glad that her struggle is over and that she is herself again and able to remember me and how much I love her. Grandma seldom said it in words that she loved me, but she never failed to show it in her actions.
I love you, Grandma, and I miss you so much!
I have taken the news about my grandma a LOT harder than I thought I would. My grandma taught me more about homemaking than anyone else in my life. When I chose to stay at home with my kids, my grandma was my biggest supporter. She understood the joys and frustrations of this better than anyone else in my family and never failed to let me know that I was making a valuable contribution even though I chose to forgo post-secondary education and out-of-home employment.
Grandma was never afraid to speak her mind about what she thought and felt, which is a trait I admire. She loved my boys so much and was always anxious to hear about what they were up to. When Brettley was born she opened her heart to John and I about a painful experience she'd been through so that we'd know that there was someone in the family who understood how terrifying it is to have a premature baby.
Over the past few years my grandma fell victim to Alzheimer's and dementia. In the spring of 2012 she was moved to a care facility when she could no longer walk. It has been a few years since I've seen her, at the request of my mum. I remember my grandma from the time when she remembered that she was my grandma. I have been missing her for a few years now, but now I miss her in a new way. I'm so glad that her struggle is over and that she is herself again and able to remember me and how much I love her. Grandma seldom said it in words that she loved me, but she never failed to show it in her actions.
I love you, Grandma, and I miss you so much!
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
Settling In To The School Year
Illness has been running around the Bly house the past couple of weeks. Caleb got a head cold that has hung on for about 10 days now. John and I were hit with it as well, so he ended up needing to take 2 days off of work because he was sick. That's kind of a big deal because I can count on 1 hand the amount of days John has taken off of work for his own illness since I met him. I had vertigo for a few days and ended up sleeping for 13 hours last night because I was so wiped out.
Ty has been absolutely loving school and his teacher commented that he's settled down a lot the last 2 days, which was great to hear. Brettley has been enjoying doing preschool things with me, and especially loves singing the songs. Caleb had to miss most of last week's school as well as missing his first piano lesson because he was so sick, but he's very happy to be back at school this week.
This coming Saturday we're celebrating Caleb's birthday (it's next Wednesday). Instead of having a party with his friends, he asked for just our family to go to Chuck-E-Cheese instead. I was very happy with the compromise and am looking forward to seeing the kids have fun playing the games.
I think that's about all that's new, there's just been a lot of resting going on this past week, ha ha.
Ty has been absolutely loving school and his teacher commented that he's settled down a lot the last 2 days, which was great to hear. Brettley has been enjoying doing preschool things with me, and especially loves singing the songs. Caleb had to miss most of last week's school as well as missing his first piano lesson because he was so sick, but he's very happy to be back at school this week.
This coming Saturday we're celebrating Caleb's birthday (it's next Wednesday). Instead of having a party with his friends, he asked for just our family to go to Chuck-E-Cheese instead. I was very happy with the compromise and am looking forward to seeing the kids have fun playing the games.
I think that's about all that's new, there's just been a lot of resting going on this past week, ha ha.
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