Babysitting...

I saw this thing on facebook about what is fair to pay your teenage babysitter, and it actually got me pretty riled up. Do we really treat our babysitters like doormats who should just be grateful for whatever scraps we give them. I don't expect a lot of extras from anyone watching my kids. I don't expect them to put my kids to bed, because they don't go to bed easily. I don't expect them to make any food, if they are watching my kids during a meal then I provide them with a decent meal (we usually have ordered pizza that is delivered just before we leave). I don't expect them to clean what they came into, I just ask that my house isn't much worse off than I left it. I don't expect them to do the dishes, I just ask that they be moved to the sink.

However, I AM asking that you make sure that my child hasn't terrorized my house or beaten up their brother, which they probably try to do many times while you're there. I AM asking you to make sure that my child hasn't choked on their meal and EXPECTING you to know what to do if that happens. If my child vomits or something like that while I'm out, I'm asking you to CARE for them for the 20 minutes (minimum) it will take me to get back home (and trust me, I'm feeling your pain if you had to watch someone puke). I AM asking you to try and convince my child to clean up after themselves as they are playing, which I will be the first to admit is not an easy task. And let's face it, I take care of my kids for nothing because they are my kids and I love them. It's a whole different level for me than what I'm asking of you. I'll be the first to admit that my kids are a lot of work to take care of AT THE BEST OF TIMES! For babysitters the kids are extra wound up, and for teens who aren't responsible for that kind of exhausting exuberance on a daily basis it is A LOT to deal with. Those teens often wear themselves right out to provide this service for me.

So the conclusion I came to is this. You need to look at ALL of the factors before deciding on a price together with your babysitter that you both find fair, before they actually babysit. If you can't come to an agreement on what is fair, find another sitter. If you can't afford to pay what your babysitter deserves, try explaining the situation to them and see if they're willing to renegotiate. If you STILL can't afford a teen babysitter, try asking other family to watch your kids. Or ask a friend if they are willing to swap watching kids with you, so that there's no money exchanged, but you're both still getting something for your service. And if you can't do any of that, then you make a sacrifice as a parent and stay at home instead of going out.

John and I RARELY go out on dates because we can't afford to do a lot at this point in our lives. When we do go out, my dad watches our kids, because I recognize that I'm not a a point where I can afford to pay a babysitter what they deserve for watching my boys. So we do date nights of games or movies at home. It's a sacrifice that we willingly make to be parents to our awesome boys. We recognize that if we didn't have my dad to watch our kids, we would pretty much never go out. In becoming parents, we made the choice to put our kids ahead of lots of movie at the theater nights or dinners out together.

I'm not saying parents should never go out, I'm just saying that parents should find a way to go out and still be respectful of exactly what it is they're asking someone to do while taking care of their children. I rarely say no if I'm asked to watch a friend's kids (always free, with one exception), and if I say no there is a highly valid reason for it (like my kids or I are sick or we already have something going on that would interfere with me giving their child proper attention). I'm sure there are other people out there who would be just as willing to watch your kids for you for free a couple of times a year for a few hours if you really can't afford a teen babysitter.

And remember, as a teen, giving up your free time is a huge sacrifice, so make sure that those teens are properly blessed for the sacrifice they are making. They have a LOT more homework than we did, their educational workload is higher than our's was and they need their downtime as well.

So that's the world of babysitting wages according to Nikki...