I Finally Use The S-Word On Here (Not the 4 letter one)

This quote was recently in an Ensign article about infertility. A woman facing that challenge in her life remembers hearing a bishopric member during Sunday School say:

“When someone has an ailment or an illness and they are healed as the result of a blessing, their faith is being strengthened. But for those who aren’t healed but continue faithful, their faith is being perfected. The first is a faith-promoting experience. The second is faith-perfecting.”

I obviously don't have the challenge of infertility in my life. For all of the complaining that I do during my pregnancies about the difficulties I face during them, I am truly grateful that I haven't been faced with this challenge. However, anyone who's followed my blog for any amount of time knows that I am have been diagnosed with Type II Bipolar Disorder and have struggled for the past few years with trying to hold on to my sanity (even at times when there was barely enough left to hold on to) and being suicidal. WOAH! I finally used the s-word on here. I'm sure I've alluded to it, but I haven't come right out and said it. Yeah, it has been a HUGE, almost daily, struggle for the past 2 years or so. Anyway, a blogger that I follow had this quote on her post and it really spoke to me because it doesn't just apply to infertility. It applies to all ailments and illnesses, a category which bipolar certainly falls into. So when things are a struggle for me, I will do my best to remember this quote. Maybe I'll find some way to display it in my new bedroom when we move, since I'll be losing my beloved vinyl of "Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured".

All of this being said, I found out recently (because I specifically went looking for it, actually) that May is Mental Health Month. So instead of posting a status about it on my Facebook for an hour and trying to convince people to put it as their status as well, I'm going to issue a challenge to them and on here as well. Please, please, PLEASE find someone during the month of May who suffers from any kind of mental illness and do something nice for them that will help make their life a little brighter. Suffering from mental illness royally sucks and it's so easy to feel alone. When someone does something nice to show me that they care, it makes my day (possibly even my week or month *ahem, Alana and the cheeseburgers*). It means so much. So please do something to let someone who will struggle for sanity for the rest of their life know that you care about them. It could make a HUGE difference.

Attitude of Gratitude

I didn't end up taking pictures because I had Brett in the Snugli and so I didn't feel like adding something else into the mix. We left our security deposit with them and should hear back with the 100% either tomorrow or Monday. Anyway, here we go with the Thursday routine:

1) I am grateful that as long as the employment and landlord checks come back fine (which they should) that we will be moving to a better home. It means that I will have a LOT to do in the next couple of weeks, but it will be worth all of the effort.

2) I am grateful that Caleb is enjoying his week in Magrath. He's only talked to me once since we came home on Monday. Apparently he's outside all of the time, which I'm very happy about.

3) I am grateful that there was no damage done to my father-in-law's van when we got rear-ended on the Deerfoot on Monday. The only thing that was damaged was my SIL's book that I was reading when we got hit. It's got quite the tear in one of the pages, but that's it.

Have a great weekend. I'll be spending mine cleaning and downsizing.

YAHOO!!!

It's happening, it's really happening. Don't have a 100% on June 1st yet (I'm hoping to get it tonight), but we're officially moving. We are going tonight for the formal viewing (but we've been there before and have checked out the online virtual tour) and will give them our security deposit. We're moving just south of where we are (like 1 block away). The company that we are going to be renting from is reputable and efficient. HomeEd is seriously lacking in the efficency department, which is one of the reasons why we're leaving. The best parts are that it is still in our ward and still in Caleb's school boundaries. So my SIL can still drive him to school next year like we'd already planned because it's no more out of her way than this place is, maybe even less so. I will try to remember to bring the camera tonight to take some pictures. I think we're looking at a unit that's already empty, but the guy said the layout is almost exactly the same in all of the units. We're off on another adventure!

Our Easter Weekend

Thursday night my tub started leaking through my dining room ceiling. It completely ruined a craft I was working on from Relief Society. It was kind of the last straw. We're officially house hunting now. It's sad because we'll have to pull out our RRSP to make it happen, PLUS, there's pretty much no hope of getting a place in Caleb's school boundaries and even staying in the ward might be tricky (not that it's a huge issue, I'm cool with leaving the ward if it's to move to the right place for us).

On Friday we travelled down to Magrath. The boys did very well during the trip. We had a surprise birthday party for my youngest SIL (who is still older than me). It was a good weekend and I got to have a really good talk with my father-in-law. He is the best father-in-law that there is:)

Our trip home was far more eventful than the one down. Yesterday we got out of Magrath later than we'd hoped driving Dad's van (one of our brake drums or something needs to be fixed this week). We just had Ty and Brett, Caleb is staying with my in-laws for the week while my SIL's kids have their Easter break. We hit Calgary during rush hour (there's a lot to be said for avoiding Calgary while travelling between Magrath and Edmonton, I think). While we were stopped in traffic the car behind us was rear ended, and then they rear ended us. It was really my first accident. The van was fine (thank goodness, since it wasn't even ours), but we waited for the officer to show up anyway, just in case (also, to get the case number). It put us behind by quite a bit though. I have decided that we're officially going to avoid Calgary from now on if we have to travel through during rush hour. Of all the times we drive in Edmonton during rush hour and have never been in any kind of an accident, it ended up happening in Calgary. I'm just grateful that about 10 minutes before it happened I remembered that we hadn't prayed before we left Magrath so I prayed right then that we would get home safely. We did, and maybe it would have been a lot worse if I hadn't remembered to pray for that.
(I think Calgary drivers leave significantly less space between vehicles than we do in Edmonton, which is incredibly stupid if you ask me)

Anyway, we got home safe last night and were happy to be back in our own beds. Today Ty and I are going to clean the house and start cleaning the backyard. I hope you had a wonderful Easter weekend and are enjoying the appearance the spring has FINALLY decided to make.

The Real Meaning of Easter

I went to an amazing Relief Society meeting last night. The theme was "Come Unto Christ". Did you know that's an LDS term? It isn't used at all in the Bible, but is one of the last verses of the Book of Mormon.
"Yea, come unto Christ, and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness; and if ye shall deny yourselves of all ungodliness, and love God with all your might, mind and strength, then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be perfect in Christ; and if by the grace of God ye are perfect in Christ, ye can in nowise deny the power of God." - Moroni 10:32

One of the things that was brought up that I have really pondered on since hearing it is why we spend 6+ weeks every year celebrating the birth of the Savior (not even on his birthday, mind you), yet we are lucky if half of our Easter Sunday is spent celebrating the Risen Lord. Without Easter, we wouldn't have Christmas. It would be the equivalent of celebrating my birthday for 6 weeks (not that I'd complain, ha ha). However, if the events that we celebrate at Easter time hadn't occurred, Christmas would mean absolutely nothing. If Christ hadn't suffered in Gethsemane, been crucified on Golgotha and risen from death then we would have no hope beyond this life.

Because of this renewed passion for Easter, we are making some changes in our house. This year the Easter Bunny came a few weeks early. Next year he won't come at all. Instead we will do an egg hunt in darkness to remember the 3 days of darkness in the Americas after Christ was crucified. I have several activities to do with the kids in the 2 weeks before Easter and I will be doing the 14 Day Walk With Christ (found it on sugardoodle in the Easter Ideas section). I also have a goal to read Jesus The Christ by James E Talmage by next Easter.

Since my next few days are going to be busy, I wanted to share my testimony right now while I'm thinking about it.

I KNOW THAT MY SAVIOR LIVES AND THAT HE LOVES ME!!! I can't say this enough. I know that He was born in the most humble of circumstances, that He lived a perfect life being the perfect example. I know that as He took upon Himself the sins of the world in Gethsemane and bled from every pore that He felt every single pain that I've ever gone through or will go through. He understands me like no one else can. He suffered a death that was perfected to be disgustingly painful in order to satisfy a mob. However, the most miraculous part of it all is that on the third day He broke the bonds of death and was resurrected. I know that because He lives that I will be resurrected as well and that because He took my sins upon Himself that I have a chance to return to my Heavenly Father again someday. I know these things with every single part of me and I wish I could scream it to the world because it's the most amazing thing. I know that Jesus lives, I know that He loves me and I love Him.

Caleb

I didn't write yesterday because Brett has croup and it was REALLY bad yesterday. Lots better today. Plus, I didn't have a lot to talk about either. However, I wanted to write down a conversation I had with Caleb today so that I don't forget it.

Caleb "Mommy, can I be your Wubbie forever and ever and ever?"
Me "Yep, just like if you do the things that Heavenly Father tells you to you can live with Him forever and ever and ever, too."
*Short pause*
Caleb sighs and says in an exhausted voice "Oh man. Can we please take the van there instead?"

He must have thought that we were going to take a walk to see Heavenly Father that would last forever and ever and ever. I laughed so hard.

PS
Wubbie is one of his many nicknames.

Attitude of Gratitude

1) I am grateful that returning to my calling last night went easier than I thought that it would. I was mostly just a spectator last night, but I got some time to cuddle with my niece, so I loved that. We've enjoyed cuddles from day one of my joining the family. Here's some proof:















2) I am grateful that we're going to Magrath for Easter weekend. It will be Brettley's first big car ride. Caleb is so excited to see his cousin, Paul. I'm just looking forward to getting out of my house for a few days.

3) I am grateful that Brett did so well with his shots on Tuesday. Yes, I immunize my children. No, I don't want to debate about it. He cried for just a moment. Caleb gave him a kiss on the head and he calmed right down. It was a very sweet moment to watch.

***

Also, I got to buy new church shoes yesterday. My old ones were toast and I can't justify wearing winter boots to church in April, regardless of how cute some of them look. Now I just need to find a pair of flip flops to replace the ones I had to throw out. I tried on a few pairs last night, but none of them felt right.

I guess that's about all for now. Hope you have a great weekend!