Update

I will do my best with this update, but if I don't write it down, I tend to forget it as of late. We went to visit my mum for Mother's Day weekend. In part because she is still getting used to holidays without Grandma and also in part because Mother's Day is still a tough day for me. While I was there she sewed a new topper for my dining room window and we repainted my FHE magnetic board. She and the boys made a very nice brunch for me that, of course, included bacon. The older two boys each gave me what they made in school and John and the boys gave me season 3 of BBC's Sherlock on Blu-Ray. I'd been trying to hunt down a Blu-Ray copy for quite a while.



Lilac season came while I was bedridden for about a week with a stomach bug and then a nasty kidney infection that need 2 different antibiotics to kick it. So while Caleb and Ty were walking home from school each day they picked me some lilacs so I could still smell them. What sweet and thoughtful boys I have.

At the beginning of June Caleb's class went on a field trip to the Ukrainian Cultural Heritage Village, which I was a parent volunteer for. It was awesome to go with Caleb and share in this part of our own heritage with him, and showed him dwellings like the ones his ancestors used to live in. It was my favourite field trip I've helped with to date.



We also started a Dungeons and Dragons group with a few of the guys from our ward. It's really fun to play with other people, and is something that we're really enjoying.

I also planted new flowers in my planters a couple of weekends ago. The boys love them and are always concerned about them and asking if they need water each day. We've been getting more rain, so I don't have to water them quite as much as the first week.

I think that's basically the major stuff. We're just winding down at the end of the school year. Today I'm off to the zoo with Ty's class for a field trip and next week I'm helping his class with an in-school field trip. We're all looking forward to the summer break this year, which is a first for us.

I'm Still Here, Honestly

Just a short update to say that no, I have not fallen off of the face of the planet. I was very sick for a couple of weeks and stuck in bed for a large portion of that. I have been adjusting to a new dosage of my medication, which I'm very happy with but the increased dose makes me exhausted for a couple of weeks as my body adjusts. Also, I've been helping with things at the school as the year winds down, catching up on housework after being so sick and just life in general. But I'm doing very well and hope to have a proper update either this week or for sure the next.

The May Update

Life in the Bly home at the moment, hmm. The kids and I have started spending a lot more time outside now that spring is finally (mostly) here. They have gotten in lots of bike riding. We bought Brettley a brand spanking new big boy bike and finally got rid of the tricycle. They LOVE riding their bikes. We also bought a bunch of different things for them to use outside (chalk, soccer ball and pylons, etc).

Caleb and I went to see Big Hero 6 in the cheap theatre as a mommy and son date. He has done extremely well in working to get his anger under control. Hardly ever any issues at home or school now, so he no longer sees the psychologist or psychiatrist and just works with our new family doctor now. I'm so proud of him for working so hard, and his hard work really showed through in his March report card (his best one yet).

Tyrell won a citizenship award at school last month for being particularly good at team work. He also has his non-prescription glasses now, which he loves.

Brettley's glasses finally came in, and he loves his red Miraflex glasses. His eye looks a lot better with them too, so they are doing their job to prevent a third eye surgery. We are still waffling on the idea of putting him in Kindergarten this fall. I have very mixed feelings on whether or not he is ready. Intellectually I have no doubt he can do it, but he is very small for his age and would be very close to the cut off date for age, so he would probably be the youngest in his class anyway. Still not sure what we'll end up deciding on.

This Monday the boys were sure to celebrate Star Wars day in our geeky little family.

I am doing well. The decision to switch to pills instead of vitamins was definitely the right call for me. I still have off days, but they are far easier to pull out of now. I have been blessed to be the Mia Maids adviser for over 14 months now and am enjoying every minute of it with these amazing girls.

John is doing good as well and we are just happily enjoying life right now and looking forward to spending this coming weekend with my mum. And that's your monthly update on the Bly family :)

What I've Been Making

I finished off our Tetris piece ornaments.

And made rupees for everyone except John, because I'd made his last year.

And started in on the Phineas and Ferb ornaments.

Spiritual Thought for April

This past weekend I was blessed to be able to watch almost all of the 5 sessions of General Conference. John and Caleb were watching the priesthood session at home, so I caught a lot of it. I love General Conference weekend. Not just because I can stay in my PJs the whole time if I want (although it is an added bonus), but because it's just so spiritually uplifting.

This one in particular had so many amazing talks that I felt were so relevant to us. For the first time ever, I didn't take notes. I wanted to be able to focus on what they were saying so that I didn't miss anything while writing. I plan to go back over the talks and study them and make notes then.

What stuck out to me the most was how much family and the importance of it was talked about in this particular conference. It's always a big topic, but maybe I just noticed it more than usual this time or something, I don't know. It reminded me that family is very much meant to be looked at with an eternal perspective. I feel more motivated to keep helping my children learn what they need to know so that they can build their own unshakable testimonies.

One of my favourite moments from the weekend, though, was when Caleb found out that people like him can actually attend General Conference in person. He and John set a goal to go together and attend the Priesthood Session once Caleb turns 12. I love seeing his love for the gospel!

I love General Conference and am looking forward to the next one in October :)

PS
Our monthly update is in the post below this, as I just put it up right before writing this.

Catch Up

I missed blogging last week because I was sleeping for a lot of it. For most of the past 2 weeks, I have been napping quite a bit, particularly the first week. I can't remember napping that much in my life, so I'm sure it hasn't happened since I was a toddler. I was pretty high for a few days as my body adjusted to the medication. I was so blessed to have my dad help me out on the days where I was really exhausted. I'm doing good now. I've had 2 weeks of being on the medication now and I don't need to nap anymore and rarely feel "foggy", so yay! I also finally got around to having it checked, and I officially don't have diabetes. There was a strong suspicion with a lot of us that I might have it, so it's nice to know that I don't.

We all had eye checkups in the last month. Caleb has glasses for distance things now, like watching TV and when they are looking at the Smart Board at school. He keeps his nicer pair of glasses at home and the less expensive ones at school. Brettley's full time glasses are on the way. John and I both will be getting our new glasses and prescription sunglasses tomorrow, and I am officially a full time glasses wearer now. Ty felt really left out being the only one who didn't need glasses, so I bought him a cheap pair of non-prescription ones just so he feels included. They look adorable on him, but pretty much all glasses do.

The boys spent part of spring break at my mom and step-dad's, which they greatly enjoyed. Ty built a T-stool with Grandpa, which helps him work on strengthening his core muscles and lets him wiggle a bit while sitting. He loves it and is so proud of it.

John found the desk that I've been wanting for 50% off, so he bought it for me. I laugh because all I went in the store for was a ruler and I came out with a desk (and the ruler).

And yeah, we watched General Conference over Easter weekend. Sorry there are no pictures today, I haven't uploaded them from my phone yet and since I'm sick, I'm opting not to go upstairs to get the cord to do it right now, ha ha. We're doing good though, and happy with how things have been going :)

Nikki Being Real

So I promised myself a few years back that I would be real and honest on my blog, that I wouldn't censor myself trying to make other people happier or more comfortable. I usually fail at being real and honest, so I'm going to try and buck that trend today.

So anyone who has 'known' me for a while probably knows that I have been diagnosed with Type 2 Bipolar Disorder, and have been for over 5 years now. In a nutshell, I deal mostly with crippling depression and struggle with self-harm and other destructive thoughts. Once in a while, my head decides that I'm not miserable and that I should single-handedly try to take on the world (hypomanic episodes). When I was first being diagnosed, I was put on a medication called olanzapine. We only had Caleb and Ty at the time, and it felt like the nail in the coffin on ever having another baby. I gained 25 lbs within a single month of being on the medication and then I relapsed badly shortly after into another depression episode.

I then started taking a vitamin and mineral supplement that has been found to be effective by lots of people in treating their bipolar. We felt good about it after being on it for 4 months and then I got pregnant with Brettley. To be to the point here, I spent pretty much the entire pregnancy being dangerously suicidal. I've been on the supplement since then and although it's better than it was without it, I still feel like every single day is a fight just to try to be 'normal', and it's a fight that I'm losing more and more frequently. Happiness that lasts more than a fleeting moment is a rare miracle. I still get crippling depression at least twice per year. I have struggled greatly with self-harm for the past few years. In short, I'm not living, I am just barely surviving.

So last week John came home from work, sat down on the floor with me and said "I think it's time to give a different traditional medication a try". We talked about how I wanted to proceed with that. I decided to get an appointment with a new GP and discuss my options with them. John made me the appointment. This was a very difficult decision for me to make. I'm terrified of gaining weight again like I did on the olanzapine. I'm scared of things getting WAY worse before they can get better. I'm scared it'll take years and years to find what works for me. I felt like I'd failed for giving up on the supplement after 5+ years. But John gave me a priesthood blessing, and I am going to be learning how to rely on my Heavenly Father even more though this.

My appointment with the GP was yesterday evening. I have started a very low dose of a new kind (to me) of medication (yesterday was my last day on the supplement). I will be seeing him often to find out how it is working and what changes we may need to make. I have to go for blood work tomorrow and will get the results of that at my GP appointment next week. I need to start doing some form of physical activity (which I'm trying to figure out what I want to do that I will be able to enjoy). I have been ordered to be more social. I've also been told that I'm not allowed to bottle up what I'm going through anymore, I actually need to talk about it with people. I feel both scared and excited. Scared for the reasons that I mentioned in the previous paragraph, but also excited because I'm hoping that by stepping on this path that I will eventually find the right answer. Because I don't want to just barely survive anymore, I want to actually live.