I've decided to do the 30 day song challenge. Anyone who knows me remotely well knows that music is a HUGE part of my life. It's my outlet. Some of the days won't have a video to go with the song because I can't find a video to go with some of them or else I can only find the live version which includes profanity in it. However, today's is fine. However, just for the record, this was the first time I have ever seen the video and will probably be the last.
Day 1 - Your Favorite Song
Sing = My Chemical Romance
Also, please don't forget to send me your e-mail address if you want to keep following my blog after it goes private (see previous post).
The goings on of our geeky little family and the musings and soapbox moments of the lone female in the group.
Friday, June 10, 2011
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Going Private
After much contemplation I have decided that The Bly Blog will be going private starting on June 18th. So if you'd like to keep reading, please message me your e-mail address on facebook so that I can send you an invite when the time comes. If you don't have me on facebook, there aren't too many Nikki Bly people on there and I'm the only one with my whole family in my profile pic, apparently. I would just feel more comfortable actually knowing who is reading my blog, and then I can be a bit more at ease about naming towns and cities.
The Other Letter
I've decided to forego the Attitude of Gratitude for this week and write the other letter instead.
Dear Future (and hopefully wiser) Self:
To be perfectly honest, I have no idea what the last 10 years have been like for you. Oh, there are some basics that I have no doubt of. You and John will have just celebrated your 15th wedding anniversary this past New Year's Eve. Your boys probably still drive you up the wall, just not for the same reasons they do as I'm writing this. Even so, you are so grateful for each of them and love them more than they'll ever know. You are still active in church and have served in a few callings between my now and your now. These things I'm sure of because I know that these things are the most important things in the world to you and that they make up most of who you are.
L is just about to turn 17, I'm sure you're probably starting to get nervous about seeing her face to face again next year. If things haven't changed too much in that respect, you will be worried about what to say and about how much she'll really understand about why you made the decision you made. There's one thing you've known all along though, she'll never be upset for being raised by C & D because they are amazing and you couldn't have chose better (well, the Lord chose and we chose to follow His plan, really). Just keep praying to have the words that you'll need to have.
Caleb will have started going to youth dances by now. Is he like you, does he love to dance? Or is he like John and really not into that? What kind of a person has he become? Does he have a strong testimony? Do Ty and Brett have strong testimonies? How long did it take Brett to catch up to his actual age? He's a month behind, maybe a titch less, as I'm writing this. How long was Ty a complete turkey for?
There are more things that I wonder about. Did any of your family end up joining the church? Did you make it back to Utah? Have you and John managed to take a vacation without kids yet? Has your bipolar stayed relatively manageable? Did you ever start having less anxiety attacks than I'm having now? Have you managed to get to a healthy weight again? Have Roo & D had any kids yet?
However, like I said. I already know the basics of what you are because the things that are most important to us are just THAT important and they always will be that important. I hope that your past 10 years have been a bit easier on you than my last 10 years have been, but my last 10 years have helped to shape who we both are. As rough as the ride has been, I wouldn't trade what came out of it for anything and I'm sure you feel the same. Just keep on going and never lose sight of what we're striving to keep, an eternal family.
Lots of love:
Your 10 Year Younger Self
Dear Future (and hopefully wiser) Self:
To be perfectly honest, I have no idea what the last 10 years have been like for you. Oh, there are some basics that I have no doubt of. You and John will have just celebrated your 15th wedding anniversary this past New Year's Eve. Your boys probably still drive you up the wall, just not for the same reasons they do as I'm writing this. Even so, you are so grateful for each of them and love them more than they'll ever know. You are still active in church and have served in a few callings between my now and your now. These things I'm sure of because I know that these things are the most important things in the world to you and that they make up most of who you are.
L is just about to turn 17, I'm sure you're probably starting to get nervous about seeing her face to face again next year. If things haven't changed too much in that respect, you will be worried about what to say and about how much she'll really understand about why you made the decision you made. There's one thing you've known all along though, she'll never be upset for being raised by C & D because they are amazing and you couldn't have chose better (well, the Lord chose and we chose to follow His plan, really). Just keep praying to have the words that you'll need to have.
Caleb will have started going to youth dances by now. Is he like you, does he love to dance? Or is he like John and really not into that? What kind of a person has he become? Does he have a strong testimony? Do Ty and Brett have strong testimonies? How long did it take Brett to catch up to his actual age? He's a month behind, maybe a titch less, as I'm writing this. How long was Ty a complete turkey for?
There are more things that I wonder about. Did any of your family end up joining the church? Did you make it back to Utah? Have you and John managed to take a vacation without kids yet? Has your bipolar stayed relatively manageable? Did you ever start having less anxiety attacks than I'm having now? Have you managed to get to a healthy weight again? Have Roo & D had any kids yet?
However, like I said. I already know the basics of what you are because the things that are most important to us are just THAT important and they always will be that important. I hope that your past 10 years have been a bit easier on you than my last 10 years have been, but my last 10 years have helped to shape who we both are. As rough as the ride has been, I wouldn't trade what came out of it for anything and I'm sure you feel the same. Just keep on going and never lose sight of what we're striving to keep, an eternal family.
Lots of love:
Your 10 Year Younger Self
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
10 On Tuesday
I was challenged to write a letter to my future self after writing a letter to my 18 year old self. I am planning to do it, I'm just still pondering on what to say.
I've had some fun/interesting realizations lately, so I will include them in my 10 On Tuesday.
1) We will most likely have 3 missions in our family that will be back to back. Almost 6 straight years of our children serving the Lord full-time.
2) We will have boys in Young Mens for 11 years straight. I think we're going to be pro at helping to achieve the Duty to God award.
3) This Father's Day will be exactly 7 years since I was baptized and have spend over 4.5 of those years serving in Primary and maybe 4 months of it serving in Relief Society.
4) My little Caleb will be starting Kindergarten in 3 months. We'll need to start making note of healthy snacks that he likes. I don't get to buy him school supplies this year:( So instead we're going to buy him a few supplies for doing his homework with and make a homework box.
5) I am going to hit 300 blog posts in the next few months. I should decide now what I'm going to use as a giveaway for that mark.
6) My allergies this spring have been far worse than they've ever been before. I hear that's a common phrase this year. It doesn't help my eyes itch less to know that, though.
7) I LOVE Old Navy. I would spend a fortune there if I had it. Caleb already has several items from there. I buy him shirts when they go on a good sale. My favourite one we've bought him from there so far is a shirt with an arrow pointing up and it says "TOTALLY AWESOME". Had to buy it because I had taught him forever ago to say "My name is Caleb and I'm totally awesome".
8) I am trying to figure out a good support system right now to help me to lose weight. Also, some good exercise ideas. I love my Wii Fit Plus, but I'd like to do something different once in a while. I keep toying with the idea of training myself to run, but can't seem to make myself actually do anything about it. Any suggestions for support or exercise?
9) I started rewatching all of the Harry Potter movies. We're on Prisoner of Azkaban right now, or as Caleb calls it "the one where the aunt blows up like a balloon". We got through most of it yesterday, but had to stop for something and just never finished it. I have a hard time getting through Azkaban. I want to smack Alfonso Cuaron (the director) upside the head every time I watch it. Looking forward to Goblet of Fire next, though:)
10) Brettley has slept through the night 3 times now. My teeny tiny baby is slowly growing up. However, I'm sure that John is very grateful for the nights that he sleeps through.
I've had some fun/interesting realizations lately, so I will include them in my 10 On Tuesday.
1) We will most likely have 3 missions in our family that will be back to back. Almost 6 straight years of our children serving the Lord full-time.
2) We will have boys in Young Mens for 11 years straight. I think we're going to be pro at helping to achieve the Duty to God award.
3) This Father's Day will be exactly 7 years since I was baptized and have spend over 4.5 of those years serving in Primary and maybe 4 months of it serving in Relief Society.
4) My little Caleb will be starting Kindergarten in 3 months. We'll need to start making note of healthy snacks that he likes. I don't get to buy him school supplies this year:( So instead we're going to buy him a few supplies for doing his homework with and make a homework box.
5) I am going to hit 300 blog posts in the next few months. I should decide now what I'm going to use as a giveaway for that mark.
6) My allergies this spring have been far worse than they've ever been before. I hear that's a common phrase this year. It doesn't help my eyes itch less to know that, though.
7) I LOVE Old Navy. I would spend a fortune there if I had it. Caleb already has several items from there. I buy him shirts when they go on a good sale. My favourite one we've bought him from there so far is a shirt with an arrow pointing up and it says "TOTALLY AWESOME". Had to buy it because I had taught him forever ago to say "My name is Caleb and I'm totally awesome".
8) I am trying to figure out a good support system right now to help me to lose weight. Also, some good exercise ideas. I love my Wii Fit Plus, but I'd like to do something different once in a while. I keep toying with the idea of training myself to run, but can't seem to make myself actually do anything about it. Any suggestions for support or exercise?
9) I started rewatching all of the Harry Potter movies. We're on Prisoner of Azkaban right now, or as Caleb calls it "the one where the aunt blows up like a balloon". We got through most of it yesterday, but had to stop for something and just never finished it. I have a hard time getting through Azkaban. I want to smack Alfonso Cuaron (the director) upside the head every time I watch it. Looking forward to Goblet of Fire next, though:)
10) Brettley has slept through the night 3 times now. My teeny tiny baby is slowly growing up. However, I'm sure that John is very grateful for the nights that he sleeps through.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Brettley's Blessing
Truly, it deserves it's own post because he's so cute and special. Today my father-in-law blessed the baby that we were never supposed to be able to have. When we found out I have bipolar we should never have been able to have another kid. I even gave up hope for a bit. Then we got our answer. I still struggled hard to have him. It was a fight from the beginning of the pregnancy through to weeks after his birth. However, he is here, he is healthy and he is amazing. He is so loved. It was a short and sweet blessing. The part I remember the most was that Brettley would be a light when there is no other light. I hope that we can help teach him to be worthy of this, that he will shine virtuous in a world where virtue is rare and ridiculed. That he will develop a testimony that will strengthen him in the toughest of times and that he will know that his Heavenly Father and Savior should always come first in his life.
We love you so much Brettley and are so happy to have you as a member of our eternal family.
Friday, June 3, 2011
Letter To Myself
I love when I read thought provoking blogs. This morning's was "What Would You Tell Your 18 Year Old Self". I've decided to make record of this in my blog for myself because it's so interesting (to me). Read if you'd like, but please note that I'm writing this for my benefit, not your's, so no negative comments, please.
Dear Younger, Skinnier Self:
Your life for the next 8.5 years is going to be several battles, but the best parts of your life will come during this time as well. First, learn not to test people to see if they sincerely care for you. This will end up costing you the relationship that you're currently in.
Don't end up going to school next year to get away from that person. It will only end up costing you money that you don't need to be spending. Instead, find a decent job, get out on your own and enjoy life. Don't get your eyebrow pierced, for several reasons (one of them being that it will get infected about a month after you get it anyway).
When you are 19 you will find yourself pregnant and the father of the baby is not going to help out, regardless of how much you try to convince him otherwise. Do your best to take care of the baby and you will know how to make the best decision for the baby later on. (Oh, it's a girl, so stop calling it Caleb)
While you are pregnant you will be invited to go to a baptism and church service. Do not under any circumstances turn this down. We have done that once before. The decision to go will change your life for the better in ways that you couldn't possibly imagine.
About 5 weeks before your due date you will realize that the baby girl you're carrying is not meant to be your's. When you hold her parent's profile, you'll know in an instant that it's them that she's meant to be with. Knowing that and having a testimony of the importance of an eternal family will be what helps you to get through after placement.
You will go into labour a week early and there will be no doctor in Wainwright who can deliver. It will be a complicated labour, so get to the hospital immediately. The doctors in L-Town will know what to do and the baby will be fine. You will make it through this. Stay strong during delivery (even if you have to tell your mom that you love her, but to shut up).
There will come a time that you will need to move away from home and to be with people who share the same beliefs that you do. Moving back to L-City may seem appealing, but you need to go to GP. Trust me. Just don't bother trying to work at KFC, you'll end up in the hospital over that one.
A month after you move there you will meet a guy wearing a really ugly tie. Don't take too long to warm up to him, that man will end up being the best thing that ever came into your life. He will be the answer to your prayers and the man who takes you to the temple to give you an eternal family of your own. (Oh, and HE will be the one to throw the air hockey pucks at you, not G)
Choose your wedding party carefully. Don't ask people out of a sense of obligation, choose them by who is actually more important to you now. You will spend years regretting it if you don't. Also, make sure to invest in some really good cold medicine when you realize that you're sick a week before your wedding. Drink NeoCitrin like it's going out of style.
When you and your husband find out that you're pregnant, make sure that you get yourself to a doctor as soon as possible and give Diclectin a try again. If you don't, you'll end up spending almost 2 months in bed, and crawling to the bathroom will be the only exercise you'll get.
3 months after you've had your first beautiful baby boy you will end up being told you have post partum depression. Trust me when I say that it is a LOT more complicated than that. You have bipolar. Do NOT get medication for it from the doctor, it will work for only a very short period of time and will cause weight gain that you would probably spend the rest of your life trying to get rid of. There is a vitamin supplement that will work for you. Start researching EMPowerplus.
You will have 2 more amazing little boys. The last one will come early, but he will be fine. When nurses give you a hard time about not being there more, know that you are doing your personal best and that Heavenly Father is pleased with what you're doing. It will seem like hardly anyone cares about what you are going through while he is in the hospital, but if you stick close to the Savior during this time it will be fine. Remember, not everyone thinks about things the same way that you do.
During these 8.5 years there will be comments made by family members that will really hurt you. Do your best to shrug them off and not hold a grudge. There were said without tact, but not meant to be malicious and you will only end up hurting yourself.
Above all else, never ever ever fall away from the things you'll gain a testimony of while you are pregnant. This testimony gave you the wonderful things in your life that you have. It is what changed your life for the better. You will remember what your life was like before and you will know that it's not worth going back to. You are a wonderful person who is trying very hard. Don't think poorly of yourself. It doesn't matter if you don't look exactly the way that you want to. You will look beautiful to the guy with the ugly tie, and that's all that matters. You are beautiful within and that's the beauty that TRULY counts in life.
One more thing...There is a friendship that you've known for years is only out of a sense of obligation. Slowly phase it out now and don't look back. Trust me, you're far better off this way.
Hang in there. It will be rough, but it will be worth it all.
Love:
Your Future, No Longer Skinny But Even More Loved, Self
Dear Younger, Skinnier Self:
Your life for the next 8.5 years is going to be several battles, but the best parts of your life will come during this time as well. First, learn not to test people to see if they sincerely care for you. This will end up costing you the relationship that you're currently in.
Don't end up going to school next year to get away from that person. It will only end up costing you money that you don't need to be spending. Instead, find a decent job, get out on your own and enjoy life. Don't get your eyebrow pierced, for several reasons (one of them being that it will get infected about a month after you get it anyway).
When you are 19 you will find yourself pregnant and the father of the baby is not going to help out, regardless of how much you try to convince him otherwise. Do your best to take care of the baby and you will know how to make the best decision for the baby later on. (Oh, it's a girl, so stop calling it Caleb)
While you are pregnant you will be invited to go to a baptism and church service. Do not under any circumstances turn this down. We have done that once before. The decision to go will change your life for the better in ways that you couldn't possibly imagine.
About 5 weeks before your due date you will realize that the baby girl you're carrying is not meant to be your's. When you hold her parent's profile, you'll know in an instant that it's them that she's meant to be with. Knowing that and having a testimony of the importance of an eternal family will be what helps you to get through after placement.
You will go into labour a week early and there will be no doctor in Wainwright who can deliver. It will be a complicated labour, so get to the hospital immediately. The doctors in L-Town will know what to do and the baby will be fine. You will make it through this. Stay strong during delivery (even if you have to tell your mom that you love her, but to shut up).
There will come a time that you will need to move away from home and to be with people who share the same beliefs that you do. Moving back to L-City may seem appealing, but you need to go to GP. Trust me. Just don't bother trying to work at KFC, you'll end up in the hospital over that one.
A month after you move there you will meet a guy wearing a really ugly tie. Don't take too long to warm up to him, that man will end up being the best thing that ever came into your life. He will be the answer to your prayers and the man who takes you to the temple to give you an eternal family of your own. (Oh, and HE will be the one to throw the air hockey pucks at you, not G)
Choose your wedding party carefully. Don't ask people out of a sense of obligation, choose them by who is actually more important to you now. You will spend years regretting it if you don't. Also, make sure to invest in some really good cold medicine when you realize that you're sick a week before your wedding. Drink NeoCitrin like it's going out of style.
When you and your husband find out that you're pregnant, make sure that you get yourself to a doctor as soon as possible and give Diclectin a try again. If you don't, you'll end up spending almost 2 months in bed, and crawling to the bathroom will be the only exercise you'll get.
3 months after you've had your first beautiful baby boy you will end up being told you have post partum depression. Trust me when I say that it is a LOT more complicated than that. You have bipolar. Do NOT get medication for it from the doctor, it will work for only a very short period of time and will cause weight gain that you would probably spend the rest of your life trying to get rid of. There is a vitamin supplement that will work for you. Start researching EMPowerplus.
You will have 2 more amazing little boys. The last one will come early, but he will be fine. When nurses give you a hard time about not being there more, know that you are doing your personal best and that Heavenly Father is pleased with what you're doing. It will seem like hardly anyone cares about what you are going through while he is in the hospital, but if you stick close to the Savior during this time it will be fine. Remember, not everyone thinks about things the same way that you do.
During these 8.5 years there will be comments made by family members that will really hurt you. Do your best to shrug them off and not hold a grudge. There were said without tact, but not meant to be malicious and you will only end up hurting yourself.
Above all else, never ever ever fall away from the things you'll gain a testimony of while you are pregnant. This testimony gave you the wonderful things in your life that you have. It is what changed your life for the better. You will remember what your life was like before and you will know that it's not worth going back to. You are a wonderful person who is trying very hard. Don't think poorly of yourself. It doesn't matter if you don't look exactly the way that you want to. You will look beautiful to the guy with the ugly tie, and that's all that matters. You are beautiful within and that's the beauty that TRULY counts in life.
One more thing...There is a friendship that you've known for years is only out of a sense of obligation. Slowly phase it out now and don't look back. Trust me, you're far better off this way.
Hang in there. It will be rough, but it will be worth it all.
Love:
Your Future, No Longer Skinny But Even More Loved, Self
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Attitude of Gratitude Day
Let's see how well I can do this with one hand while the other is feeding the baby. *Little known fact about me = I am hopelessly stuck on home row typing*
1) I am grateful that Brettley slept through the night for the first time last night. It's a tiny bit sad since it's a reminder that my last baby won't be a tiny baby forever, but far more exciting than sad. I am also grateful that John has done almost every single night feeding with all 3 boys. I am so blessed. (For the record, we have that arrangement for a VERY good reason, not a selfish one, just in case anyone who doesn't know the reason is wondering)
2) I am grateful for Brettley's super cute smiles. He loves to smile at Mommy, his crib aquarium and his fish mobile on his swing. His smiles light up my world when they come. Brettley is so stinkin' cute!
3) I am grateful for my new home and how much better I feel here. I feel safer here and happier. I am not paranoid about mice getting in like I was before:) I am very glad to be here.
Hope you have a wonderful weekend. We're very much looking forward to Brettley's blessing on Sunday.
1) I am grateful that Brettley slept through the night for the first time last night. It's a tiny bit sad since it's a reminder that my last baby won't be a tiny baby forever, but far more exciting than sad. I am also grateful that John has done almost every single night feeding with all 3 boys. I am so blessed. (For the record, we have that arrangement for a VERY good reason, not a selfish one, just in case anyone who doesn't know the reason is wondering)
2) I am grateful for Brettley's super cute smiles. He loves to smile at Mommy, his crib aquarium and his fish mobile on his swing. His smiles light up my world when they come. Brettley is so stinkin' cute!
3) I am grateful for my new home and how much better I feel here. I feel safer here and happier. I am not paranoid about mice getting in like I was before:) I am very glad to be here.
Hope you have a wonderful weekend. We're very much looking forward to Brettley's blessing on Sunday.
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