BAH! HELP!

So I actually posted a comment on Lauren's mom's blog the other day. Of course I just left the name as anonymous, but she had written about someone commenting on her 2 year old acting like a 2 year old does and I'd had the same experience on the same day, so I just felt like I needed to say something. Turns out that my comment actually helped her and she posted part of it on her next blog. I'm so glad that it helped. I chose C and D as Lauren's parents by VERY strong inspiration. As soon as I picked up their profile, I knew they were the parents she belonged with. Sure I have my hard moments where I think "what if", but that's mostly just because I have yet to be blessed with a girl of my own and I worry that she'll end up being the only one and John and I will have only boys. I know that probably sounds awful or selfish to most people, but when you hand a baby girl that you carried for 9 months over to someone, you can't help but to worry that she will be the only girl you will ever give birth to, that someone else will get all of the hairstyling and dress up moments that you never will. Not that I would ever deny C of these things, she deserves them as much as anyone, if not more, but it's just a worry that I have. But anyways, I know that Lauren belongs with them and that they are wonderful parents. I can see in pictures of her that she is so loved and cared for. It amazes me all of the time how much Caleb looks like her, and that in itself is a huge blessing to me. They both look very much like my side. Lauren is like a little mini-me and Caleb looks about in between me and my brother. Ty has a bit more of John's side in him, which is great for John because he deserves that too. Anyways, C's latest blog reminded me that each child is an individual and that their misbehaving doesn't neccesarily make us bad parents. I am well aware of the fact that Caleb has anger management issues. I work on it with him far more than anyone could know. But that doesn't change the fact that he is an idependant, strong-willed little guy who doesn't quite get the concept of consequence for actions yet. I'll admit that I occasionally pass judgement on how someone else's child acts, but I keep my opinions to myself and try to remember that I don't have the full story to anyone but myself. Anyway, I've just been so frustrated lately because my kid has become the loud toddler in sacrament meeting who has to be taken out every single week, the kid who is starting to hit other kids in nursery because he doesn't know how else to express his anger and frustration, the kid who caused me to put my tooth into my lip last week because he doesn't understand that he has the ability to badly hurt other people yet. I have no clue what to do about it, I'm at a total loss of how else to deal with these problems other than giving him time outs and removing him from sacrament meeting so that he can't disturb other people trying to worship, but at the same time, I'm getting tired of being hit or having things thrown at me every time he doesn't get what he wants. I absolutely refuse to spank, since John and I have realized that spanking is just self-gratification and only feeds violence and after that I'm not sure what else there is to do. Any ideas?