Decision Time

I'm seriously considering making a separate blog for my home schooling posts, where I could write happily about once per week and say what we've been up to and how things are going. However, I'm pretty worried that if I create a separate blog that I'll never have anything to say on here. Is anyone still reading this? Does anyone have any suggestions about this? Thanks in advance :)

But That's Not What It's Supposed to Look Like...

Surprisingly, this post isn't homeschool related. So for the past several months I have struggling with depression and anxiety. It was hard to take it seriously for quite a while, because it was nowhere near as severe as it was before I started taking Seroquel. Before then, depression and anxiety meant not being able to do even the easiest of household tasks, not being able to hold myself together when John wasn't here, majorly struggling with self-harm. This time around, I was still able to get the basic chores around the house done, I was able to function without John at home, I was able to be consistent with homeschooling and even feel excitement about it. Although I'm sure I will always struggle with the temptation to self-harm, I haven't given in for well over a year. So my life didn't look how I expected depression and anxiety to look, but it was there. I was almost ambivalent about Christmas, which is the opposite of how I usually am. I couldn't sit still with more than 10 people near me without having an anxiety attack (yes, that means I couldn't do church), and often was having anxiety attacks in stores. I was depression eating.

So this past week I decided to make some changes. I was willing to open up to a good friend and also to a bishopric member about what was going on. That was a huge step, I always try to hide when I'm struggling. I committed to only eating after supper once per week, which would eliminate most of my stress-induced chips and dip binges. I am committing to some sort of intentional movement every day that John works, even if it's just dancing to 2 songs one day. I started taking a multivitamin for women. I decided to take church 1 week at a time, and my goal for this Sunday is to sit in the hallway and be able to stay there at least long enough to partake of the sacrament. At any time after that, if the anxiety is too much, I'll go sit in the van and read Jesus the Christ until John and the boys are done their meetings.

Also, I made the connection that things really started going downhill right when I started taking birth control pills in an effort to help with PMS emotional issues. So since I just finished a pack anyway, I decided that the trade off isn't worth it, and I won't be continuing with them.

While things haven't been easy, I've remained optimistic that I will get through this rough patch, like I always do. I just need to pull out of it 1 step at a time.

Home Schooling Area

These bins hold stickers, my office supplies, learning manipulatives and things like that. We got them on a clearance sale.

The towers and their bookshelf were already there. We cleared out a lot of space from the towers (the XBox stuff is all in a storage bench now) and got the magazine holders to hold curriculum books. Our books have come since this picture was taken, so they are very full now.

The white boards now each have a sticker with the first letter of their name on them, colour coded to each boy's favourite colour.

Brettley's white board moved off of the window wall and is now beside the calendar. The seasons chart at the top of this picture is now above Ty's desk (far left). The desks were all on clearance sale from IKEA, score!

So here is our schooling space. We tried it out daily during Spring Break and it works extremely well for us. I love it and so do the boys!

My Latest Project is in Progress

A lot of people who know me well know that Tyrell has been asking me to homeschool him since Kindergarten. That was a rough year for us. His teacher (for 8 of the 10 months) was NOT someone I respected and we had a few situations that made me extremely angry with her. We nearly pulled him halfway through the year after one particular incident. Ty loved doing school in the afternoons at home for a while. He never forgot how much he loved it and would regularly bring up wanting to do 'Mommy School' instead of going to school. Since Caleb has started schooling at home, Ty has become more insistent (understandably, since Caleb ended up getting something that Ty has been asking for the past couple of years). He has ended up in tears about it a few times. So John and I went back to praying. Clearly, I am capable of planning a comprehensive curriculum and following through on it. When life happens and we get off track, we get right back on track and don't end up behind. We weren't sure if I could do this, but we trusted the answer that we got about Caleb, and it turned out to be incredibly accurate. Caleb is thriving! His emotions have become significantly more stable. I am becoming more patient with each day, which is something I've struggled with my whole life.

Well, we got another answer. Come fall, all 3 of our boys will be home educated. We are fortunate that Brettley's birthday is just within the cutoff date, and we are able to register him for grade 1 to receive funding for him, which is awesome! So I have been busy planning curriculum for Tyrell and Brettley, as well as our plans to keep learning over the summer. It was obvious that schooling in my room in the fall wouldn't be an option anymore, which we had been doing for the past couple of weeks. So we made a trip to IKEA, Staples and Walmart and began my latest project, which is making a dedicated learning space in half of our living room. We still need to grab another desk tomorrow, but so far we have 2 desks, white boards for each of them above their desk (I write their daily plans on them), organizers for workbooks and an open storage bin system for their different learning items (such as geometry set pieces, math manipulatives, Boogie Boards, stickers, etc).

It's not quite ready yet, but when it's done, I will post pictures of the space on here. It also includes their bookshelf, which was already there and 2 other 'shelf' units, which are for media as well as school storage. We are very much looking forward to this next adventure in our lives. The staff at the school, while expressing how much they miss Caleb and will miss Tyrell, have been incredibly supportive and respectful of our decisions, which I am very grateful for. We are truly being blessed so much as we seek for Heavenly Father's guidance in the lives of our children and follow the answers that we have been given.

Mostly a School Update

The past several weeks of doing home schooling with Caleb have been awesome. We get closer to finding our groove with each day. His behaviour has improved so much, it's awesome. Today we got his grade 4 and grade 5 novels in the mail, along with his grade 4 French book to do over the summer. He is reading The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe for grade 4 and Underground to Canada for grade 5. Of course, the planner in me has his novels picked out all the way through to grade 12, ha ha.

Over the past couple of weeks, I finalized his lesson plan schedule for grade 5 and got his Education Program Plan ready, so when his facilitator comes soon, we can get his registration for next year done quickly. I had originally planned to go with a different board in the fall and register him as aligned to the Alberta Programs of Study, but changed my mind for a couple of reasons. The first is that our current board was willing to bail me out mid-year when we needed a fast solution, and I am extremely grateful for that. Also, I enjoy being able to use whatever curriculum I want to meet our goals for the year, and don't want to have to potentially give that up by switching to aligned (it's dependent on the facilitator how much flexibility we would have). Our biggest expense for grade 5 will be his karate class, so we don't require more than what traditional gets for funding. We will be able to do quite a bit with our $835, and have included 4 field trips in that plan. Almost everything he will be doing will actually meet the Programs of Study, but we decided to focus on different units in science instead. In grade 6 I am hoping to water down the Book of Mormon seminary program to his level, and add that into our day. We are also planning to get him doing a typing program so that he is comfortable typing by the time he gets to grade 7.

We picked up a new laptop with our tax return, as our old one was several years old and I'd rather buy one when I have a few extra dollars than have it crash 6 months from now and not have money to replace it without using the credit card. Funny enough, the only laptop that met all of my requirements (and there weren't a lot, either) was HP's Star Wars laptop. I am really enjoying it. Now the boys can have the old laptop, which will be great when Caleb starts learning to type and has computers a few times per week come the fall.

Not much else is new right now, I guess. My life is very home school-centric at the moment. I am loving it, though. I am so grateful that we were led to this choice for Caleb and that it is working so well for him!

Realizing My Capabilities

We've been through a fair bit in the past week. First, my little Brettley turned 5 years old. Where on earth has the time gone? As an extra thought on this, when Caleb was 5 he seemed so big. Because Brettley is the youngest and a little short (or a lot short) for his age, he seems super tiny to me. He wears size 5 tops, but just got into size 4 pants a couple of months ago, so he is quite short for a 5 year old. However, he made up for his lack of height by losing not 1, but 2 teeth on his birthday! Caleb and Ty were both 6 when they lost their first teeth, so Brettley is ahead of the group in that area. Some of the things Brettley got for his birthday were a truck launcher he'd been asking for, 2 Paw Patrol toys and a Paw Patrol bedding set (comforter, sheets and pillowcase). He was a VERY happy boy, and he's finally keeping a pillowcase on his pillow for once.

On Friday, the stress of everything I've been going through the past couple of weeks sort of hit me really hard. John and I decided together a couple of things. First, that because we don't actually need the money I get from doing lunch at the school and because Caleb did straight out tell me that it disrupts his home schooling too much, I will finish working for February, but won't be continuing to do lunch anymore come March. Also, we decided that 5 filling appointments in a month and a half was way too much stress on both out time and finances, so we're going to do 1 filling each month until they're done. Also, we'll get Ty's all done before we start doing any of Caleb's to give Caleb more time to develop some skills to get over his big fear of needles. I felt so much better after we reworked these things to cut down on my stress level a bit.

I think I got into this mentality that because I can handle things a lot better than I could before I started Seroquel that I need to be able to handle everything. One of the first things my doctor ever said to me was that I need to be aware of what I'm capable of and work with that. I'm going to work harder to be aware of my personal capabilities and be more willing to say no when it's necessary.

John was able to have a 4 day weekend, and yesterday we took the kids to the Telus World of Science. The past couple of years, instead of getting lots of toys for the kids, we've asked my dad to instead just fund a family fun day for us. As I've mentioned before, our kids are the only grandkids on my side, so they kind of get spoiled rotten. The boys LOVED going to the TWOS. I was worried Brettley wouldn't like it too much, but he was right in there just as much as his brothers were. After we were done there we took the boys for lunch at Red Robins (their choice). Then we took them to Toys R Us and Mastermind Toys to each get something. Well, Brettley did get a lot since he had birthday money to spend as well. Caleb bought a paratrooper with a no-tangle parachute and a little science experiment kit. Ty got a little space gun, a singing Olaf toy, a Frozen pen and Frozen skin stickers. In case you couldn't tell, he is still quite stuck on Frozen, ha ha. Brettley got himself a grabber claw stick, a red Boogie Board and 6 Paw Patrol toys with badges. He only needs 2 more now to complete his badge collection (Zuma and Marshall).

That's about it for this week. I woke up with a sore throat this morning, so I got an extra day at home with Caleb and Brettley. Now Caleb is finishing up his math for the day and I'm drinking another herbal tea with honey. I'm very much looking forward to March when I get to have days like this (minus the being sick) far more often.

3 Days In

So today is officially day 3 of home school. Monday was kind of odd. It was the first day, we were figuring what works to begin with, and then I had to leave to work at the school, so my dad was over for the tail end of Caleb's work, which was the worst example of it. The last 10 minutes or so were hard for Caleb, he was feeling a bit done.

Yesterday was AMAZING! I didn't have to work because my class was on a field trip, so I didn't have to interrupt our day. I became more conscious of when he needs breaks and snacks. I ensured that he ate a good breakfast before we started. Caleb gets really 'hangry' as of late. It was an all around awesome day and he even helped make supper as well.

Today was a hard day. The day after Cubs is ALWAYS hard. It causes him to get to bed a little bit later than normal (his normal bedtime is 8:45) and has him extremely stimulated in the evening. Looking at how thing are today, I may switch it so that on Wednesdays he does his work in the afternoon when I get home from the school, instead of in the morning. Or split it half and half. We'll see how things go next week and continue to adapt from there.

Tomorrow I go back to working at the school, so our days will be messed up again. I'm REALLY glad that I won't be doing lunch supervision next year, it just isn't working well for us now. I agreed to finish the year out though, so I'm trying really hard to keep that commitment.

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In other news, my baby boy turns 5 tomorrow! His cake is currently in the oven. He LOVES homemade German chocolate cake with coconut pecan icing. He's my only boy who still prefers for me to make his cake instead of buy it, so I'm going to enjoy that while it lasts :)

I would also like to say that I was super impressed with myself on Monday, that I was able to home school and work at all. The night before was really bad. I have struggled with major back pain since I was a teenager. It's been a lot worse lately since I injured my back at Christmas a few years back. However, that being said, the pain I had on Sunday night was hands down THE WORST back pain I've ever had. If it wasn't for several layers of Tiger Balm, an amazing husband rubbing my back and keeping me as calm as possible, I definitely would have ended up in the ER.

Next week we're doing our family fun day. John is taking Tuesday off and Ty is being excused from school. We're taking the kids to the Telus World of Science, going out for lunch to Red Robin (as the kids insisted) and then taking them to Toys R Us so they can each pick out a toy. This day is my Dad's Christmas present to the kids. They are super excited for it and so are we!