Realizing My Capabilities

We've been through a fair bit in the past week. First, my little Brettley turned 5 years old. Where on earth has the time gone? As an extra thought on this, when Caleb was 5 he seemed so big. Because Brettley is the youngest and a little short (or a lot short) for his age, he seems super tiny to me. He wears size 5 tops, but just got into size 4 pants a couple of months ago, so he is quite short for a 5 year old. However, he made up for his lack of height by losing not 1, but 2 teeth on his birthday! Caleb and Ty were both 6 when they lost their first teeth, so Brettley is ahead of the group in that area. Some of the things Brettley got for his birthday were a truck launcher he'd been asking for, 2 Paw Patrol toys and a Paw Patrol bedding set (comforter, sheets and pillowcase). He was a VERY happy boy, and he's finally keeping a pillowcase on his pillow for once.

On Friday, the stress of everything I've been going through the past couple of weeks sort of hit me really hard. John and I decided together a couple of things. First, that because we don't actually need the money I get from doing lunch at the school and because Caleb did straight out tell me that it disrupts his home schooling too much, I will finish working for February, but won't be continuing to do lunch anymore come March. Also, we decided that 5 filling appointments in a month and a half was way too much stress on both out time and finances, so we're going to do 1 filling each month until they're done. Also, we'll get Ty's all done before we start doing any of Caleb's to give Caleb more time to develop some skills to get over his big fear of needles. I felt so much better after we reworked these things to cut down on my stress level a bit.

I think I got into this mentality that because I can handle things a lot better than I could before I started Seroquel that I need to be able to handle everything. One of the first things my doctor ever said to me was that I need to be aware of what I'm capable of and work with that. I'm going to work harder to be aware of my personal capabilities and be more willing to say no when it's necessary.

John was able to have a 4 day weekend, and yesterday we took the kids to the Telus World of Science. The past couple of years, instead of getting lots of toys for the kids, we've asked my dad to instead just fund a family fun day for us. As I've mentioned before, our kids are the only grandkids on my side, so they kind of get spoiled rotten. The boys LOVED going to the TWOS. I was worried Brettley wouldn't like it too much, but he was right in there just as much as his brothers were. After we were done there we took the boys for lunch at Red Robins (their choice). Then we took them to Toys R Us and Mastermind Toys to each get something. Well, Brettley did get a lot since he had birthday money to spend as well. Caleb bought a paratrooper with a no-tangle parachute and a little science experiment kit. Ty got a little space gun, a singing Olaf toy, a Frozen pen and Frozen skin stickers. In case you couldn't tell, he is still quite stuck on Frozen, ha ha. Brettley got himself a grabber claw stick, a red Boogie Board and 6 Paw Patrol toys with badges. He only needs 2 more now to complete his badge collection (Zuma and Marshall).

That's about it for this week. I woke up with a sore throat this morning, so I got an extra day at home with Caleb and Brettley. Now Caleb is finishing up his math for the day and I'm drinking another herbal tea with honey. I'm very much looking forward to March when I get to have days like this (minus the being sick) far more often.

3 Days In

So today is officially day 3 of home school. Monday was kind of odd. It was the first day, we were figuring what works to begin with, and then I had to leave to work at the school, so my dad was over for the tail end of Caleb's work, which was the worst example of it. The last 10 minutes or so were hard for Caleb, he was feeling a bit done.

Yesterday was AMAZING! I didn't have to work because my class was on a field trip, so I didn't have to interrupt our day. I became more conscious of when he needs breaks and snacks. I ensured that he ate a good breakfast before we started. Caleb gets really 'hangry' as of late. It was an all around awesome day and he even helped make supper as well.

Today was a hard day. The day after Cubs is ALWAYS hard. It causes him to get to bed a little bit later than normal (his normal bedtime is 8:45) and has him extremely stimulated in the evening. Looking at how thing are today, I may switch it so that on Wednesdays he does his work in the afternoon when I get home from the school, instead of in the morning. Or split it half and half. We'll see how things go next week and continue to adapt from there.

Tomorrow I go back to working at the school, so our days will be messed up again. I'm REALLY glad that I won't be doing lunch supervision next year, it just isn't working well for us now. I agreed to finish the year out though, so I'm trying really hard to keep that commitment.

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In other news, my baby boy turns 5 tomorrow! His cake is currently in the oven. He LOVES homemade German chocolate cake with coconut pecan icing. He's my only boy who still prefers for me to make his cake instead of buy it, so I'm going to enjoy that while it lasts :)

I would also like to say that I was super impressed with myself on Monday, that I was able to home school and work at all. The night before was really bad. I have struggled with major back pain since I was a teenager. It's been a lot worse lately since I injured my back at Christmas a few years back. However, that being said, the pain I had on Sunday night was hands down THE WORST back pain I've ever had. If it wasn't for several layers of Tiger Balm, an amazing husband rubbing my back and keeping me as calm as possible, I definitely would have ended up in the ER.

Next week we're doing our family fun day. John is taking Tuesday off and Ty is being excused from school. We're taking the kids to the Telus World of Science, going out for lunch to Red Robin (as the kids insisted) and then taking them to Toys R Us so they can each pick out a toy. This day is my Dad's Christmas present to the kids. They are super excited for it and so are we!

Or Not...

So our plan was to wait until September for Caleb to start home education. Then things started going downhill really fast. Before, Caleb came home from school about 2/5 days each week and was either distraught in tears as he walked through the door, or he'd explode in anger. I eventually figured out that the problem was that he'd tried to stay in control all day long and bottled up 'everything' and it would explode when he got home. Well, it started happening every.single.day. Caleb couldn't handle things. I couldn't handle things. The status quo was clearly not working anymore. So we made a big change, and decided to start home schooling ASAP instead. I found a board that was willing to accept him mid-year. I quickly figured out some curriculum, pieced together an Education Program Plan and sent in his registration information last Friday. On Wednesday this week, I heard from Caleb's facilitator. He was very nice and let me know that he's happy to be involved as much or as little as we're comfortable with. Then yesterday morning the official acceptance letter came. So today is Caleb's last day at the school. Monday he starts doing home school. It's a little bit sad. He'll miss seeing his friends so much. It's sad for him to leave the school he's been at since the first day of Kindergarten. But all 3 of us (John, Caleb and I) know with a deep surety that this was the right decision for Caleb and his specific needs.

For inquiring minds, we are only doing 5 subjects for the rest of grade 4. English Language Arts, Math, Science, Social Studies and Health. He was planning on dropping art and music next year anyway, so I wasn't even going to bother with that. He's doing level 1 French in grade 5 as is, so continuing FSL this year wasn't at all necessary. As for Phys Ed, we will still have opportunities for him to be physically active, it's just not an official subject for him for the rest of the year. We may put him in swimming lessons a couple of months down the road, but we'll see how things go.

So that's kind of everything that's been going on, for the most part. Most of my time went into dealing with this and getting everything ready as quickly as possible. I'm sure there are people who think I'm crazy for making this choice, but we got an incredibly strong answer from Heavenly Father and continue to get them, so we feel very confident going into this that we have made the best choice that we could for Caleb. I feel so blessed to be in a position to be able to do this for him, and to do it within a province that (in my opinion) is one of the best places in Canada to home educate.

In the way of other news, Caleb and Tyrell went to the dentist this week. They were both awesome, but they both need fillings, so we'll be doing that next month. Mostly nervous about Caleb, because he has a fear of needles, but we will be bribing him to tough through it. Also, my doctor referred me for a sleep study for sleep apnea, which I have do to at the end of the month. I'm really not looking forward to it, mostly because I have a hard time falling asleep as it is and I'm pretty sure that having a mask strapped to my face isn't going to help much in that area. Oh well, better safe than sorry. Sleep apnea causes a truck load of problems if not treated correctly.

And as a final note, I can't believe that the baby of the family turns 5 next week. In some ways it feels like he's still 2, but in other ways it feels like he's been with us for so much longer than 5 years. Two things are for sure though. 1) We love him so very much and 2) He is still the best surprise I've ever had in my life.

Post #2 For Today

I think I have done Caleb a bit of an injustice. I never saw him as a kid with special needs, I saw him as a kid who struggles with ADHD. As we met with his psychologist the other day and she had me list off what has been diagnosed and what I feel still needs to be diagnosed I had a realization as I rattled off this list:
-ADHD
-Oppositional Defiant Disorder
-Anxiety
-Sensory Processing Disorder
-Severe Desire for Structure and Routine
-Rage Attacks Caused by Above
Caleb is, in fact, a child with special needs. It certainly doesn't make him a bad kid, and it doesn't even make me a bad parent for not realizing this earlier. It just means that now we're a bit better equipped to make stronger and more effective decisions regarding Caleb.

I think of things like travel, which we will be changing how we look at. His psychologist reminded me that travel in particular is going to be a very hard thing for him. It's different at my mum's. She follows any routine I ask her to, Caleb is used to travelling there every couple of months, and it's only a 2 hour trip home if things aren't working out well. Anything more than that needs to be seriously evaluated. Caleb desperately needs structure and routine in his life, and travelling really throws a wrench into that. He gets overstimulated very easily at family gatherings, which triggers a lot of difficult reactions in him. Travel that takes any more than 2 or 3 hours to get back home from, makes it very difficult if he needs to leave earlier than planned.

I'm in the process of changing how I make him aware of my expectations, of consequences and how I wind him down at the end of the day, so that these things are clear to him, become a routine and are more effective for him. We are becoming more aware of making sure his needs are met, both in making accommodations and also in making expectations and consequences easier to understand.

Oil Love

We're still super excited about doing homeschooling next year. We changed his courses a little bit. We convinced him to keep French, and he will do French and Science online through our board and then the rest of his courses for the year will be parent delivered. It will be a very big change for us, but I can see a difference in the bond between Caleb and I even just having made this decision.

We had our first appointment with his new psychologist on Tuesday. It went well, I think that she'll be a far bigger help than his last one. We've made a few parenting changes since that meeting. John no longer plays games with a rating of T or higher while the boys are awake. I am getting a 'lot' better about keep a calm voice, even when I'm upset. The bedtime routine has changed as well. The boys are not allowed to have screen time within 30 minutes of their bedtime. The TV goes off with the first time, the older boys can use their iPods until their time is up. I also dim the lights downstairs at that time and turn on some relaxing music. It made a world of difference last night! We have a few more changes coming in the next week, that will make things even better in the long run.

Caleb and I have been borrowing an oil diffuser the past few days and testing out different oils. We love it and there has only been 1 oil that we didn't like so far. I spent my Christmas money and ordered myself my own diffuser and a few oils. So Caleb now has the Scentsy warmer that was in my room before. I have one in the basement as well, and told Tyrell that I'd try it out in their room and see how that goes. I'm transitioning them to sleeping with their big light in their room off, and the Scentsy warmers help a lot with that because they are like a nightlight.

Not a lot else going on here. Just the same old stuff, ha ha. Have a good one!

A Change Is Coming, and boy are we excited

What a busy week! We had a very huge decision to make. After toying with an idea for a few years now, we seriously prayed for an answer about whether it was the right thing or not. Our answer was overwhelming to make this change. So starting in the fall Caleb will be home educated. All 3 of us (Caleb, John and myself) are excited for this adventure. We have already talked to his current teacher and the acting principal and they both are supportive of this decision. I spoke with a registrar from the willing non-resident board we will be with yesterday and was very impressed with how friendly and helpful she was. We will receive his registration package in April and we are excited to get the process started. Caleb will be aligned to Alberta's Programs of Studies, but has decided that he will drop music and art (and French as a Second Language, if possible). This means he will be taking English Language Arts (done in 3 separate time blocks), Health, Math, Phys Ed (karate class twice per week), Science and Social Studies. He was very happy that he had the option of dropping music and art. Art in particular has never been his strong suit and is clearly not something he plans on pursuing. We picked out the books we'll use for his curriculum, and will fill in anything they may lack with worksheets from some awesome websites.

I have had some pretty awesome people to talk to as we researched and were praying for our answer. My good friend/family member who has home educated since her oldest was old enough for kindergarten was a HUGE help to me. We also have some members in our ward who switched from attending public school over to home education this past fall. I was able to speak to their mom and one of the older girls about what that transition was like for them.

So that's our big news for this past week. I'm still going strong with my 2016 commitments. It's hard to believe that January is already almost half over. Caleb's initial appointment with his new psychologist is this coming Tuesday, which will be great. At least we're not in a huge rush now for a full assessment, since we no longer have to worry about rushing to have him coded before April.

A Perfect Week

I made a goal for 2016 to study my scriptures using a journal as well as have at least one good personal prayer (preferably two) every single day this year. I am happy to say that I have successfully completed that goal for the first week of the year.

Our Christmas went well, we enjoyed another quiet year at home. I was spoiled with colouring things, starter calligraphy books and tools as well as a calligraphy quill.

This month we're looking forward to Caleb having his first appointment with a new psychologist and to hopefully start the process of getting him coded for school.
I hope you've enjoyed the first week of 2016!